+2Originally Posted by QuieTSToRM33
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Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
+2
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king of mass
Explain why you think that not wanting your girl dancing in a probably provocative manner with another guy means you insecure.
Last edited by buffgator; 09-11-2007 at 05:11 PM.
Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
Because you think she is going to like this stranger more then you which = insecure.
If you ask me i think you are more of a @$$hole for putting your hands on a girl. I don't care if she hit you or not. I been hit by women and never laid a hand on them. This goes for everyone not just you. Reaction my @$$, don't make excuses.
Senior Member
It depends the situation.My wife is latina and they dance with everybody.But if i walk in and she see,s me seing her dancing with someone I would base my reaction on how she reacts to me seing her.A facial expretion says a 1,000 words bro and drunk or not if she really wasnt doing anything wrong i doubt she would put her hands on u .We wont even talk about u putting urs on her cause we know that is wrong.And one more thing ?Did she know u were coming to the bar?Would she of been dancing with him if she new u were coming or if u were there for that matter would she havwe been dancing with him?think about that
Last edited by pumpd4lif; 09-11-2007 at 05:35 PM.
Senior Member
I think respect comes in to play if she was dancing provacative then she is in the wrong and sending the wrong message and i woulda slapped her 2(j/k).But really dancing nasty with another guy whats that say about her if she had any respect for u it woulda never went down the way it did.i have seen my wife dance with plenty of men and rest assured she demands respect and would never make or think of making me look bad or send the wrong message.And if u ask me their is no respect in ur relationship and it isnt worth saving imo
Veritas, Aequitas ~
I agree, its about respect, you have to trust someone to a degree and if they arent demonstrating respect for you or the relationship, its not worth it
Member
Well said! Women are more like men than we guys tend to think. A women will try you just to see what she can get away with. You can still be a nice guy without letting her stuff your sack up your ass. I am not saying that you have to have total control of your lady but you have to have rules and boundaries to any relationship.
And they like being put in the place once and a while (they never admit it). I am tired of these guys whining when their girl threatens to leave or the like. Quit giving her any attention for a week or so...she will be knocking at the door in a few nights begging you to take her back.
Take the control back!
"Vanity Redefined" ~VET~
if your chick is GRINDING her ass on another guys crotch..
what kinda respect is that?
what if its his leg instead.. does that make it better?
you all say .. I WOULDNT CARE she is going home w/me at the end of the night LOL.. its hard to see the forest for the trees..
Senior Member
Rules and boundries should go without saying that brings us back to respect.if u do not respect one another then it isnt a relationship.And if ur partner yells at u or gets mad when u confront them about something that bothers u,it is cause they are wrong and know it
Last edited by pumpd4lif; 09-11-2007 at 05:48 PM.
Senior Member
Ow i would definatly care if she is grinding anything on anybody rest assured she better go home with them cause she wouldnt be climbing in my bed(cause i would be 2 steps ahead of her and there wouldnt be any room in the bed for her anyway)
"Vanity Redefined" ~VET~
yeah.. grinding is the only dancing i see chicks do around here..Ow i would definatly care if she is grinding anything on anybody rest assured she better go home with them cause she wouldnt be climbing in my bed(cause i would be 2 steps ahead of her and there wouldnt be any room in the bed for her anyway
i mean country bars and shit they do the hick stuff.. thats pretty common aruond here as well.. but .. AT CLUBS..
it aint no swing dancing, ballet, tango shit..
its- PUT UR ASS IN THEIR CROTCH and ROLL IT... though there is NO PROBLEM at all if its 2 chicks dancin together.. i encourage that...
Senior Member
rofl incourage shit if it isnt happing im leaving
~VET~ Extraordinaire~
No i wouldn't be cool with it or would my girl. Some women can take care of themselves. Let her get mad at the guy and slap him instead of you. You going to be mad at your girl because some guy grabs her ass? What if she is mad about it too? Let her handle herself i';m sure if she needs help she will tell you.
Banned
There are so many opinions here.
First of all I have been married for 12 years. BIG difference between dating and being married. If I were dating, I would care less. (Kick her to the curb)
If she would be wanting to do that to you, knowing that it hurts you... then she doesn't care for you. Also seems she wants to go play and party rather than build a strong relationship with you.
Second, You do not need to hit a woman. On the same note, you don't need to take abuse from her either. (Years ago my wife and I were at a Christmas party that her work was having at a Grams Central Station. We both were pretty drunk, yet I was better off than her and decided to drive. She thought she was better off to drive. We began fighting about that,"although I think she was really mad about the fact that her friends were being very friendly with me". As we were fighting on the way home, she slaped me across the face. I told her she better not ever do that again. She then punched me in the side of the mouth and busted my lips. So I slammed on the breaks, shut the truck off, came around, pulled her out of the truck, and put her on the side of the street, got back in the truck and went home. Left her about 2 miles from the house.) ***I never hit her, yet I was not going to put up with her hitting me***
Third, there is no way I would ever let my wife dance with another man, and she knows this! She knows if I was to ever see her dancing, sitting having a drink, or touching a man in any way, I am going to blow, and destroy him.
The way I figure it, and justify it is... He knows she's marrried, and now it is personal. He would have become a threat to my marrage as well as my family, therefore I have the right to protect them both at all costs! (Good thing I don't have to worry about that, I would hate to spend the rest of my lift in prison).
If I were you, I would step back and make sure she is what you want, and that you want to deal with these kind of happenings, because brother,... if she is doing it to you now, she will continue.
Last edited by billybambam; 09-11-2007 at 06:29 PM.
Banned
PS: Drinking will allways lead to you guy's fighting. Nothing good ever comes of it... except the ocassional wild sex at the end of the night.
Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
My point was: There was 100% no reason to lay a hand on anyone.
If your girl is grinding on some other dude then its her fault and no one elses. If a girl started grinding hard with you on the dance floor would you stop to ask her if she had a b/f ? No, you would go along with it. She made the decision and if you don't like it talk to her about it or leave.
Veritas, Aequitas ~
I agree, when someone treads on your territory knowing they are taken its hugely insulting, that would be the thing that would set me over the edge
Banned
b/f yes, husband... uuhhh NO! Repeat NO!
I remember being single. I could spot a ring on the left hand a mile away.
**** I could also spot that pale white ring****
Huge difference
Banned
10 freakin 4 brother!
Even just as a boyfriend... I remember I had a kinda steady thing with a girl once for a few months, and I caught her out with her friends one night and she was all over a so called buddy of mine.... Yeah,... I gave him a good beating!.... And he knew it was coming from the moment he seen me walking towards them at the party they were at.
~VET~ Extraordinaire~
Holy Crap you need to grow up. I honestly shocked people are this jealous. Threat to your marriage and family because someone is talking? apparently your marriage must not be that good. Protect them? From what? A good conversation. Sounds like your protecting your ego. I talk to girls at bars all the time the may have boyfriends or married. I'm not trying to bang them all. Some times its nice just to bullshit with someone else.
Veritas, Aequitas ~
Ive gotten in a few pushing matches with guys who step on my toes that way, they've never had the guts to throw a fist so at least we know the intimidation factor works heh heh
~VET~ Extraordinaire~
I'm curious. Any of you guys that would be mad at your girl this is for you.
you guys ever go to a strip bar. I'm assuming no because you wouldn't disrespect your girl like that but I'm curious
Veritas, Aequitas ~
I do, my gf would come with me. she had a good time.
Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
Don't even waste your time. I know where you are coming from but most of them will never know.
~VET~ Extraordinaire~
Isn't getting a lap dance or touching a stripper worse then just dancing on a dance floor?
~VET~ Extraordinaire~
That obvious?
Snook~ AR Lounge Monitor
As clear as day.That obvious?
Senior Member
yep. she goes with me.
Banned
Never. I never go to strip clubs.
and to your responce earlier. Yes I am a very jealous person. My wife knows this, therefore would not ever put me in that situation. Infact I remember back when we would go out to bars and I would go to get us drinks, I would come back and see her telling some guy that she is married and holding up her hand showing him her ring. Right away putting out the fire!
On the same note, I would never be sitting talking to another woman at a bar. (Inocent or not) There is always a chance of something happening and,... one I would not want the temptation, two I know it would hurt my wife if she ever seen me like that.... so I wouldn't do it.
Veritas, Aequitas ~
Only been there to watch, no contact or lap dances, the gf always enjoyed it, suggested it lots even.
Veritas, Aequitas ~
im 21 years old, im not married or in a serious relationship, so obviously i cant related to anyone married, im just agreeing with the points that inappropriate flirting/kissing/grinding irks me. nothing more, nothing less
I feel accomplished
I don't buy the whole action reaction hitting a girl thing. If a girl hit me, it would lower my opinion of her and we probably wouldn't be dating long. My best friend punched me in the face once. He was going through some emotional crap in his life and I knew if I hit him back I would regret it.
Banned
Kratos,
I agree,.. to an extent.
I have had many years of martial arts training, and yes from the moment an attack is initiated, you will respond and be able to act upon it with a natural ability of defence. Yet, you will have a split second to choose to inflict damage upon them, or just stop them.
Again you are right, have you of hit your friend you probably would have regretted it.
Associate Member
Sounds like a bitch to me my son
king of mass
Gixxer boy and dsm why do you guys act so shocked that people have boundaries. Not everyone enjoys watching their girl dance with other guys like you do. You guys sound like you could care less what your girls do as long as they come home at night. Its not a control jelousey or insecurity issue. Its things that people have decided in their relationship is crossing the line. If you think that your girl paying attention to other men is ok more power to you. I think that it is rude and imature. You have to draw the line somewhere, where do you guys draw it then?
Last edited by buffgator; 09-11-2007 at 10:42 PM.
Anabolic Member
I'm going to jump off a bridge I think. I mean if it's my time to go, it's my time to go. If it's not, I should live. Why not just jump off the bridge? It's out of my control.
Senior Member
Been in this situation, but instead of her dancing with the guy she was in our bed with some guy she met out with her friends. I think they probably danced together too.
I snapped. I don't remember much of what I did, but I guess I knocked the guys front teeth out, snashed his orbital socket and broke his nose.
I have since been in therapy.
Didn't do anything to her, actually tried to get her back after that night too (she left me after i basically disfigured the guy).
Senior Member
Oh, and I got arrested for it too. Funny part is that the cops said they woulda done the same thing. It was my animal instinct that came out I believe to this day. When I walked in I guess the first thing taht entered my mind was that this guy was rapeing (no lie, that is what entered my mind the second I saw it then I snapped) the girl i loved.
Banned
Anyone saying "I wouldn't let my girl dance with a guy" she's not your fvcking slave. If you feel the need to control her like that your not respecting her as an independent human being who makes her own choices.
If you have a problem with it thats YOUR hang up.
A secure man shouldn't be affected by shit like that.
As far as the hitting I'm not going to judge you. Everyone knows good people make bad decisions and humans are emotional creatures, shit happens. You obviously had a wealth of factors interacting at once that lead to that event. You saw her with a guy, you were inebriated, she slapped you and you reacted. Did you OVERreact? Yeh, I mean that had to be a hard ass slap to dislocate her jaw. I wouldn't even call it a "slap". Even if your hand was open I've punched people before w/out dislocating jaws. So regardless of the shape your hand was in when it hit her face you put A LOT of force into it and for a woman, the gender that lives with an instinctual fear of the other sex, that would be quite a traumatizing event for her, drunk or not.
And she has a reason to fear you now. Its not so important what you settle with her but what you settle with YOURSELF now. You must know & believe yourself that shit like that won't happen again. If a women smacks you theres a million other mature ways to handle the situation than to smack her back. She ALSO did not have the right to lay a hand on you. So SHE overreacted just as well. But ethically speaking, the majority would be more empathetic of her position.
Don't blame her. Don't blame yourself. Blame doesn't fix problems.
Once you KNOW you can control yourself that will be conveyed to her as time passes regardless of what you actually say to her.
An apology is ok, but don't let her think your 100% at fault.
The best thing to do.. and the HARDEST would actually be to distance yourself from her emotionally for a bit. She will FEEL that and she will REALIZE that you were truley affected by what happened. You can have a logical conversation about what happened but try not to act so emotionally invested in her or the situation. Remember, EMOTIONS are what got you into this situation. If she sees you have control over your emotions, by pulling back for a bit, she will fear your emotions LESS. It will draw her towards you.
You have to understand if she sees you overly emotional about what happened your communicating to her that your still the same. That your emotions are still controlling YOU, not the other way around. Pay close attention to that aspect of your behavoir. Don't fear she'll leave by you doing that. Absence of presence creates desire. More than anything you can NEVER be completely sure of how things will work out. Just do the mature manly thing and all you can do is hope she forgives you. Trust will reinstate itself with time.
And don't beat yourself up over it. Your human. Humans make mistakes. The whole point is to GROW and EVOLVE from those mistakes.
G/luck -Bo
"Vanity Redefined" ~VET~
if bojangles post is too long for you .. i will use visuals to help those w/ adhd
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