Fuck Cancer

[The road]

Once my business is established I intend on coming out about shit to my kids etc.

Seth Feroce always stood out to me because of his statements about living the life he wanted, even if it cost him years off his life.

I'm gonna die man.
I won't be old.
I just want to live this mfer to the fullest.

For me that means a pro card as a dream and a business legacy as the forefront.

That will eat away any excess. I came from nothing physically and financially. Gonna take a lot to kill me. I licked death like a clit a lotta years. Eventually dues will be paid.

Between there and now is a lot of pure energy and people like you inspire that in me.

[GearHeaded]

Once my business is established I intend on coming out about shit to my kids etc.

Seth Feroce always stood out to me because of his statements about living the life he wanted, even if it cost him years off his life.

I'm gonna die man.
I won't be old.
I just want to live this mfer to the fullest.

For me that means a pro card as a dream and a business legacy as the forefront.

That will eat away any excess. I came from nothing physically and financially. Gonna take a lot to kill me. I licked death like a clit a lotta years. Eventually dues will be paid.

Between there and now is a lot of pure energy and people like you inspire that in me.

there is more "man" coming around then just christ himself . he just set the example. but 'the man' has always been here and we are always going to kick ass and help our neighbor

[charger69]

It’s getting real. The test came back indeterminate. They took extra samples and they will be sent to Texas for testing. About a 2 week time frame.
The Dr did state sometimes it comes back indeterminate and needs to go for additional testing which is why they took enough samples.
I better get my ass in gear if I’m planning on going on stage again.


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[Fluidic Kimbo]

It’s getting real. The test came back indeterminate. They took extra samples and they will be sent to Texas for testing. About a 2 week time frame.

I will pray for you on my morning walk past the prayer room in my town (yes we have a dedicated prayer room with a combination lock so anyone with the code can go in 24/7).

Also you can have Obs's hare krishna beads if you want, he returned them to sender so they're sitting in the mail office.

[charger69]

I will pray for you on my morning walk past the prayer room in my town (yes we have a dedicated prayer room with a combination lock so anyone with the code can go in 24/7).

Also you can have Obs's hare krishna beads if you want, he returned them to sender so they're sitting in the mail office.

No thanks!


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[David LoPan]

Went in to have a cyst removed from my back...had another one I thought was a hemorrhoid. Well found out yesterday they were carcinomas. As of now I have rectal cancer. Spent 3 hours with an oncologist yesterday.
Not sure why I’m telling you guys, just need to vent I guess. Feels a bit cathartic.
Have a PET scan next week, pelvic MRI and a colonoscopy. Praying it isn’t anywhere else, won’t know until after the PET scan.
45 fucking years old, eat clean as a whistle. Don’t smoke, rarely drink and no family history. I’m crushed.
8 weeks of radiation and chemo as it stands. Will know more after the PET scan.
Can’t bring myself to tell my kids yet.

I give two fucks about corona virus, least of my worries. My attitude on a lot of shit has changed in just 24 hours. I’m not sweating the small stuff anymore. Making sure I’m more patient and I’m gonna smile more.

Kiss your loved ones, call an old buddy you’ve been meaning to and embrace your health. Also make sure and do your god damn checkups.

Not sure how I’ll feel once treatments start, guess I won’t be starting that DHB cycle for a while now.
Fuck traveling for work for a bit.

Hope I’ll have it in me to get some semblance of a workout in. I’ll check in when I know more, and when I can. I get it’s an Internet forum, but fuck if I won’t share my story. Not gonna be another statistic. I got hit a god damn bus on a HD, ain’t going out like this. Not my ending.

Be strong, be kind. Appreciate the good ones.

My best to you all

Stay strong brother and you will beat this.

[SampsonandDelilah]

1 am and I can’t sleep. Just read some amazing PM’s that give me hope and sharpen my optimism.
Day 1 of chemo and radiation starts in 7 hours. I’ll be there all day. They weigh me every single day, the reality of losing weight, muscle and strength has finally set in.
I tell myself I’m going to approach eating during chemo like I’d eat when I’m bulking. Eat and repeat. Stuffed? Not hungry? Too fucking bad, open your mouth and put it in. One bite at a time, chew, swallow, repeat. Going to lean more on liquid calories than ever before but I’m hoping they’ll be my salvation. Wonder what other body builders have tackled chemo (although I consider myself a “weight lifter” and not a BB) you get the point.
Tenacious, determined, ferocious...these are my words and my mantra.

Wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I am though and maybe it makes me brave to admit that? I’m not afraid of being afraid. I wish it wasn’t me...it is though and I have to deal with it. Tomorrow seemed so far away and now it’s coming so quickly. It’s few blinks away now...

Had to get this off of my chest and out of my head. Hopefully sleep will come now...

My best to you all and thank you for all that have written, I’m so grateful.

Day 1, here I come

[charger69]

1 am and I can’t sleep. Just read some amazing PM’s that give me hope and sharpen my optimism.
Day 1 of chemo and radiation starts in 7 hours. I’ll be there all day. They weigh me every single day, the reality of losing weight, muscle and strength has finally set in.
I tell myself I’m going to approach eating during chemo like I’d eat when I’m bulking. Eat and repeat. Stuffed? Not hungry? Too fucking bad, open your mouth and put it in. One bite at a time, chew, swallow, repeat. Going to lean more on liquid calories than ever before but I’m hoping they’ll be my salvation. Wonder what other body builders have tackled chemo (although I consider myself a “weight lifter” and not a BB) you get the point.
Tenacious, determined, ferocious...these are my words and my mantra.

Wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I am though and maybe it makes me brave to admit that? I’m not afraid of being afraid. I wish it wasn’t me...it is though and I have to deal with it. Tomorrow seemed so far away and now it’s coming so quickly. It’s few blinks away now...

Had to get this off of my chest and out of my head. Hopefully sleep will come now...

My best to you all and thank you for all that have written, I’m so grateful.

Day 1, here I come

Don’t worry about the muscle. You can get it back.
You already have a plan on what you are going to do. That’s what we do. BB or weightlifter- we are all the same. You have an injury and you make a plan to minimize its effect. Our plans don’t always work and we improvise as we go.
I remember when I gained 8 lbs of water weight 5 days out from a competition. I turned freaking smooth. I would not give up and tried just about everything. I did compete and took 2nd. I am sure you have a similar story. That’s what you need to focus on. That’s what we do, we adapt.
Just take it one day at a time. You have a bunch of people that have never met you in person that are routing for you.
You can do this.


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[clarky.]

1 am and I can’t sleep. Just read some amazing PM’s that give me hope and sharpen my optimism.
Day 1 of chemo and radiation starts in 7 hours. I’ll be there all day. They weigh me every single day, the reality of losing weight, muscle and strength has finally set in.
I tell myself I’m going to approach eating during chemo like I’d eat when I’m bulking. Eat and repeat. Stuffed? Not hungry? Too fucking bad, open your mouth and put it in. One bite at a time, chew, swallow, repeat. Going to lean more on liquid calories than ever before but I’m hoping they’ll be my salvation. Wonder what other body builders have tackled chemo (although I consider myself a “weight lifter” and not a BB) you get the point.
Tenacious, determined, ferocious...these are my words and my mantra.

Wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I am though and maybe it makes me brave to admit that? I’m not afraid of being afraid. I wish it wasn’t me...it is though and I have to deal with it. Tomorrow seemed so far away and now it’s coming so quickly. It’s few blinks away now...

Had to get this off of my chest and out of my head. Hopefully sleep will come now...

My best to you all and thank you for all that have written, I’m so grateful.

Day 1, here I come

Take this shit head on like you do with your training, like charger said don't worry about muscle you will get that back. Just try and concentrate on getting past this.

[almostgone]

1 am and I can’t sleep. Just read some amazing PM’s that give me hope and sharpen my optimism.
Day 1 of chemo and radiation starts in 7 hours. I’ll be there all day. They weigh me every single day, the reality of losing weight, muscle and strength has finally set in.
I tell myself I’m going to approach eating during chemo like I’d eat when I’m bulking. Eat and repeat. Stuffed? Not hungry? Too fucking bad, open your mouth and put it in. One bite at a time, chew, swallow, repeat. Going to lean more on liquid calories than ever before but I’m hoping they’ll be my salvation. Wonder what other body builders have tackled chemo (although I consider myself a “weight lifter” and not a BB) you get the point.
Tenacious, determined, ferocious...these are my words and my mantra.

Wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I am though and maybe it makes me brave to admit that? I’m not afraid of being afraid. I wish it wasn’t me...it is though and I have to deal with it. Tomorrow seemed so far away and now it’s coming so quickly. It’s few blinks away now...

Had to get this off of my chest and out of my head. Hopefully sleep will come now...

My best to you all and thank you for all that have written, I’m so grateful.

Day 1, here I come

Your nerves are working on you and that is natural. Like GGR said, one day at a time.

[XnavyHMCS]

Godspeed, brother.

We are with you all the way.

I guess that fear is normal, in this and perhaps any case, but especially here.

Good luck. Be strong, as I am certain you will rightfully be.

You've got a lot to succeed for, buddy.

Go get'em!!!

[BG]

Best wishes to the both of you, you guys were in our prayers.


Charger im with you, get one thing fixed 2 more pop up. Just got skin cancer cut out of my back a few days ago and I noticed more on my shoulder last night. Still have a huge hole in my back that hasn’t got close to healing yet.

I’m like a car with 200,000 miles on it, Fix it and wait for what goes wrong next. Hopefully the motor stays running well, cause I’ll just keep driving the mf’r until the wheels fall off

[SampsonandDelilah]

Infusion has begun...no going back now!!


Thank you for the comments, they help more than you know!!

[kelkel]

So, who's Sara?

[SampsonandDelilah]

So, who's Sara?

Keen eye Kel...wish there was more to tell. I think it’s Nurse Ratchet’s first name


No sponge baths in my future...

[kelkel]

Keen eye Kel...wish there was more to tell. I think it’s Nurse Ratchet’s first name


No sponge baths in my future...

Well, one of you is lucky then. Coin toss which one!

[clarky.]

Keen eye Kel...wish there was more to tell. I think it’s Nurse Ratchet’s first name


No sponge baths in my future...

Hahahaha, The big guy misses fuck all sampson.

[Proximal]

Keen eye Kel...wish there was more to tell. I think it’s Nurse Ratchet’s first name


No sponge baths in my future...

Don’t remember Nurse Rachet’s first name, but tell me she wouldn’t animate you in bed?

[SampsonandDelilah]

Don’t remember Nurse Rachet’s first name, but tell me she wouldn’t animate you in bed?

Hah! I think she would terrify me in bed! I have bad enough insomnia as it is

[Richard Head]

Keep the faith brother, you got this!

[Proximal]

Wishing you the best buddy.

[< <Samson> >]

Well,



All this real life shit


On my 3 day or so absence from here I found out that a close "freind" of mine is facing double life(he is 47)



Fuck, shit's hard - from seeing everyone's health to other real life issues. . . . It's not life or death < shit, I wish



Back to the original toppic - it's all about where we are with what we got. . . At 45, there is no choice. . . . Just a harsh reality

[SampsonandDelilah]

Well,



All this real life shit


On my 3 day or so absence from here I found out that a close "freind" of mine is facing double life(he is 47)



Fuck, shit's hard - from seeing everyone's health to other real life issues. . . . It's not life or death < shit, I wish



Back to the original toppic - it's all about where we are with what we got. . . At 45, there is no choice. . . . Just a harsh reality

Damn brother, thoughts and prayers.

Life is real. Stay strong

[< <Samson> >]

Damn brother, thoughts and prayers.

Life is real. Stay strong

This is coming from you - yikes

Lol


Fuck yeah it’s real, a little too real at times


GL man - you’re the one going straight through it. But, yes - it could always be so much worse. No matter how bad you think you’re own shit is - reality is what’s really got me bent out of shape here lately. . . Usually I don’t have this much time to just hang out & think about it


Thank you weed & weights - without either I wouldn’t even get out of bed

^ and, I’m not even the one with these issues(atm)


Fucking reality

[C27H40O3]

Well,



All this real life shit


On my 3 day or so absence from here I found out that a close "freind" of mine is facing double life(he is 47)

What did he, kill two people?


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[Test Monsterone]

Hopefully you can get or have some green to get you through the process and help you eat and sleep. If you wanna do it the healthier way, use a vaporizer with the dry herb. Arizer Air is an incredible vaporizer.

I typically don’t have issues with sleep but I’ve been sleeping only a few hours a night so I hear you on that. It’s even harder with things on your mind. Maybe some melatonin or Ativan will help, if you haven’t already tried them. Look at it this way, if you were running a heavy cycle you wouldn’t be sleeping right, you’d be uncomfortable, and you’d end up less healthy at the end of it all. Here at least you will come out healthier and ready to be a better you in the end. I wish you the best as always.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Hopefully you can get or have some green to get you through the process and help you eat and sleep. If you wanna do it the healthier way, use a vaporizer with the dry herb. Arizer Air is an incredible vaporizer.

I would like to share my personal opinion that your situation is a suitable one for a person to ingest cannabis daily.

Then when all of this is over -- This Too Will Pass -- you can find an MA meeting in your area. ( www.marijuana-anonymous.org ).

That last bit was a joke.

I typically don’t have issues with sleep but I’ve been sleeping only a few hours a night so I hear you on that. It’s even harder with things on your mind.

Meditation is my 'go to' if ever I can't sleep. Instead of counting sheep, just keep repeating "This is an In breath, This is an Out breath, This is an In breath, This is an Out breath, This is an In breath, This is an Out breath". If that gets too monotonous then just say "In, Out, In, Out, In, Out". Works for me. This website also helps: https://www.rainymood.com/

[SampsonandDelilah]

Hey @SampsonandDelilah, how are you doing, brother?

Well week one is in the books, 9 more to go. Managed to keep my calories up but the chemo sides kicked in Tuesday or so and threw up and struggled with food in general. Anything with a smell is tough to be near and even my favorites like coffee and a bagel are a bit of a struggle.

Monday they shot me up with a huge dose of prednisone which made me feel bonkers and had given me some wicked insomnia. Tried everything under the sun and just can’t sleep. The chemo pump they sent me home with is taking some getting used to as well and I get all tangled up in the fucking cord whenever I do try and lie down.

One day at a time though. Still get humbled whenever I go to the infusion suite and see the actual sick people. The ones I wonder if I’ll see next week. My heart goes out to them and then I feel like a big fucking baby for ever complaining or feeling insecure about my body. They’re a sobering reminder that it can always be worse.

The radiation has been going fine, apparently the taxman takes about a week to collect there so just trying to be mindful of how that will feel.

Gonna force myself to exercise this weekend, being lazy and feeling sorry for yourself is a habit that is all too easy to fall in on. I keep visualizing being happy, healthy and strong again and know that it’s within reach. I tell myself now that “ I was born for this” that I can take the punishment, the physical, mental and emotional pounding that’s only 7 days old. That if the universe spares my family and friends from this disease that I’ll gladly be the one to take the lumping. Makes me feel better when I think that way and psych myself up that way when I head to the hospital to get my treatments.

I remind myself of the love and support I have (this place included) and I know that this is temporary.

It’s fucking hard brother, the people and families that fight this battle continually are my new hero’s. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I have sores in my mouth, my skin is cracking and peeling, my stomach is constantly upset and I’m not sure if I’m going to cry or throw up sometimes. It’s a trip.
Still fucking smiling and fighting though and through week 1 my weight has held.

Drawing on this place for inspiration and planning my comeback

Appreciate you checking in brother

[Proximal]

Have lived through this with another family member. They, just like you, were stronger than fuck. To try to add words of encouragement here would be asinine. You are strong & an inspiration, you have this.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

Can you get prescribed medicinal marijuana?

[SampsonandDelilah]

Can you get prescribed medicinal marijuana?

It’s legal where I live. I’ve tried it, doesn’t really help. I’ve found a gummy I can take at night that helps get me sleepy, but doesn’t do much after that.

[Fluidic Kimbo]

It’s legal where I live. I’ve tried it, doesn’t really help. I’ve found a gummy I can take at night that helps get me sleepy, but doesn’t do much after that.

I know that the SSRI's are commonly called antidepressants but really they just make it easier to get out of bed in the morning, and then later in the day you're not half as worrisome when trying to get to sleep.

Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors work by preventing the reuptake of seratonin from the synapses between neurons in the brain. They work exactly how MDMA does, except they are more of a steady consistent release (where as MDMA is more like a dam bursting). I tested this theory out one time by taking a week's supply at once, and it was very similar to my teenage years growing up in a leafy suburb of Dublin, Ireland.

There was a few things that got me through my bereavement four years ago, e.g. prayer, chanting, meditation, long walks, weightlifting, reading biographies of amazing lives, but I reckon the SSRI was high on the list. Not sure how much the Tren helped.

I hope I never go back on an SSRI again, but if life throws me another curveball then it would be my first choice. I was half-considering going on a low dose to get through the isolation in this pandemic, (I live alone), but I've perked up a bit from naked boating on the lake yesterday.

[XnavyHMCS]

S&D,

Good luck out there brother.

As you know, we are all pulling for you!

You can beat this thing!!!

[BG]

Fuck Cancer!!

[SampsonandDelilah]

Fuck Cancer!!

Fuck Cancer!!!!! Fuck it and the horse it road in on!

[SampsonandDelilah]

Thought beating the nausea was the key to eating. It’s not. This “chemo mouth” is the real deal.
One of the drugs I’m on (5FU) is notorious for causing this condition. I’ve been trying to stay on top of it...I’m losing terribly.

Eating yogurt and drinking water is like swallowing glass and chasing it with lava. I’m so disheartened...

I’ve had such great PM’s from this crew and I’m so Mother Fucking grateful. Truly trying to keep my spirits up, but this latest curveball is the real deal.

Praying my body comes to terms with its new normal and blesses me with an appetite or the strength to overcome the rawness of my mouth.

Be kind to a stranger today and give grace to someone unsuspecting. You never know what shit might be on their plate.

[charger69]

Thought beating the nausea was the key to eating. It’s not. This “chemo mouth” is the real deal.
One of the drugs I’m on (5FU) is notorious for causing this condition. I’ve been trying to stay on top of it...I’m losing terribly.

Eating yogurt and drinking water is like swallowing glass and chasing it with lava. I’m so disheartened...

I’ve had such great PM’s from this crew and I’m so Mother Fucking grateful. Truly trying to keep my spirits up, but this latest curveball is the real deal.

Praying my body comes to terms with its new normal and blesses me with an appetite or the strength to overcome the rawness of my mouth.

Be kind to a stranger today and give grace to someone unsuspecting. You never know what shit might be on their plate.

You’ve got this. It’s like that last rep that you want to get out. Just hang in there, it takes some effort, but you will get it.


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[Booz]

Damm shit news!
Don’t really know you mate but I’m sure I will get to know you better in time....
My dad just beat that shit I’m sure as shit you will....
My Thoughts are with you.

[SampsonandDelilah]

Damm shit news!
Don’t really know you mate but I’m sure I will get to know you better in time....
My dad just beat that shit I’m sure as shit you will....
My Thoughts are with you.

Thanks Booz.

Congrats and god bless to your Dad, that’s the shit I like to hear!

Suck it Cancer

[Fluidic Kimbo]

fuck c̶a̶n̶c̶e̶r̶

There's an old trick that some people with difficulty eating use: Sucking on ice cubes. I wonder if that would help to soothe your mouth for 5 minutes right before eating?