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Thread: Republican Convention Agenda Announced...

  1. 06-28-2004, 01:12 PM #1
    mfenske's Avatar
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    Republican Convention Agenda Announced...

    One of the guys I work with sent me this

    REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

    Agenda Day #1

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute
    to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, It's What's for Dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
    10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on Our nation's Economy
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
    11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft, Evolutionists: The Dangerous
    New Cult
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
    11:35 PM Blame Clinton
    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
    11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
    12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
    Overlord

    Mark
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  2. 06-28-2004, 01:13 PM #2
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    Sounds like a blast. Count me in.
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  3. 06-28-2004, 01:17 PM #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by mfenske
    One of the guys I work with sent me this

    REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE

    Agenda Day #1

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Fallwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute
    to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, It's What's for Dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of the future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
    9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
    10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak Made Easy
    10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
    10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
    10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education: A Drain on Our nation's Economy
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
    11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft, Evolutionists: The Dangerous
    New Cult
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
    11:35 PM Blame Clinton
    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
    11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
    12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary
    Overlord

    Mark




    Do you guys think they will smoke maui wowy or panama red
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  4. 06-28-2004, 01:39 PM #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martha
    Sounds like a blast. Count me in.
    yeah im down too! except can we replace the prayers with fat chronic blunts?
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  5. 06-28-2004, 01:45 PM #5
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    You forgot to mention the sponsors of the convention, Halliburton, Enron, Carlyle Group, Unocal, Fox News Channel and other Rupert Murdoch enterprises.
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  6. 06-28-2004, 03:06 PM #6
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    Democrat Natil convention

    Socialist Communist aka Democratic Party Convention Schedule

    Agenda Day #1

    6:00 PM Abortion of 8 month old fetus
    6:30 PM reading of the communist manifesto
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights BY THE ACLU
    6:45 PM Bong hit ceremony
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a one way ticket to Canada in case of drafting
    7:30 PM Second bong hit ceremony
    7:35 PM Serve hash brownies
    7:40 PM Greenpeace Address #1 Tree hugging 101
    8:00 PM Vote on which countrys ass you want to kiss most
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Morre (chiken bone stuck in throat)
    8:15 PM Oprah Winfrey: It's okay that your children are homos
    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (women only) discussion of abortion possibilities and advancements: How to murder a Baby
    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Morality, We Don't Give a ****.
    9:00 PM Barbara Streisand sings Give Peace a Chance (excluding fetuses)
    9:05 PM Series of bong hits.
    9:10 PM Seminar Greenpeace: Trees are people too!
    9:30 PM Break for orgy or swinging party whichever "makes you feel good"
    10:00 PM Prayer to Mother Earth , God Who?
    10:15 PM Lecture by John Kerry ; waffling on any issue made easy.
    10:30 PM Take nap or watch TV , too stoned.
    10:35 PM Nap continued.
    10:40 PM Jenna Jameson: How to pull a train and stay respectable in the mainstream media.
    10:45 PM Al Sharpton touts plan to sue for racism (not sure who or where though)
    10:46 PM Free the whales seminar
    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education:Getting rid of the national debt: Tax everything and everyone, twice.
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton, staying cool in the face of a serial adulterer husband
    11:20 PM Can't remember too stoned
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Moore again, whole hog leg stuck in throat
    11:35 PM Praise the Clintons for Whitwater, adultry, perjury and all other unscrupulous behavior
    11:50 PM Pagan sacrifice of virgin.
    12:00 PM Nomination of John Kerry as ruler of the new Socialist Communist Party.
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  7. 06-28-2004, 03:08 PM #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1victor
    Socialist Communist aka Democratic Party Convention Schedule

    Agenda Day #1

    6:00 PM Abortion of 8 month old fetus
    6:30 PM reading of the communist manifesto
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights BY THE ACLU
    6:45 PM Bong hit ceremony
    6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a one way ticket to Canada in case of drafting
    7:30 PM Second bong hit ceremony
    7:35 PM Serve hash brownies
    7:40 PM Greenpeace Address #1 Tree hugging 101
    8:00 PM Vote on which countrys ass you want to kiss most
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Morre (chiken bone stuck in throat)
    8:15 PM Oprah Winfrey: It's okay that your children are homos
    8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (women only) discussion of abortion possibilities and advancements: How to murder a Baby
    8:50 PM Seminar #2 Morality, We Don't Give a ****.
    9:00 PM Barbara Streisand sings Give Peace a Chance (excluding fetuses)
    9:05 PM Series of bong hits.
    9:10 PM Seminar Greenpeace: Trees are people too!
    9:30 PM Break for orgy or swinging party whichever "makes you feel good"
    10:00 PM Prayer to Mother Earth , God Who?
    10:15 PM Lecture by John Kerry ; waffling on any issue made easy.
    10:30 PM Take nap or watch TV , too stoned.
    10:35 PM Nap continued.
    10:40 PM Jenna Jameson: How to pull a train and stay respectable in the mainstream media.
    10:45 PM Al Sharpton touts plan to sue for racism (not sure who or where though)
    10:46 PM Free the whales seminar
    10:50 PM Seminar #3 Education:Getting rid of the national debt: Tax everything and everyone, twice.
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton, staying cool in the face of a serial adulterer husband
    11:20 PM Can't remember too stoned
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Michael Moore again, whole hog leg stuck in throat
    11:35 PM Praise the Clintons for Whitwater, adultry, perjury and all other unscrupulous behavior
    11:50 PM Pagan sacrifice of virgin.
    12:00 PM Nomination of John Kerry as ruler of the new Socialist Communist Party.

    ....
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  8. 06-28-2004, 03:49 PM #8
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    on second thought id rather go to the dem convention. they have brownies. and orgies? and jenna jameson? yeah fvuck the republicans the dem. know how to party
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  9. 06-28-2004, 03:56 PM #9
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    It's a slippery slope on the Dem side, but you guys live in the moment anyway.
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  10. 06-28-2004, 04:11 PM #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1victor
    It's a slippery slope on the Dem side, but you guys live in the moment anyway.
    well im not really on the dem side, but your **** right I live in the moment. To live anyway else is not to live at all.
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