Rule #1 get lot of painkillers
#2 rhonda gets you everything after surgery!
#3 get a lil plastic toilet thing to sit by ur chair so u dont have to walk to bathroom!
#4 get depends underwear and **** the whole toilet idea
#5 at night sleep on high matress on back stretched out
#6 walk little distances as much as possible, refer to rule #1 on how to do that easily!!
#7 think of oceans when pissing because its not gonna wanna come out!
#8 make sure they put cathator in during surgery while you passed out, cuz ur shits gonna swell shut! then they gonna want you to piss afterwards
#9 while in hospital cuss out nurse every moment possible, for shes inducing that pain on you purposely for her own entertainment
#10 get lots of movies, cartoons, they will be really funny if you pop lot of pills!
#11 when walking in hospital if ur gown comes undone, **** it, cuz everyone and their mom already been playing with ur balls during the surgery, kinda like a date rape
#12 dont shave ur bush, make them do it and pop a big one right in her face and speak dirty to her
#13 DONT COUGH / SNEEZE THE ENTIRE FIRST WEEK, U WILL HURT LIKE A BITCH ......Sneeze = automatic pass out session, so do it if you like
#14 feel free to bitch at Rhonda 24/7
#15 dont try to have sex, ur balls will cramp up from tubes and shit being swelled, it will hurt and you wont get off, just lots of pain
#16 good luck if you need anything call me
-Barlow Double hernia survivor 2005![]()