Ms. Wife vs. Ms. right(chapter 2)

[BE_STRONG]

well, for everyone who read my post on ms. wife vs. ms. right. The shit has hit the fan!!! I took everyone's advice and backed off from talking so much to ms. right. Afterwards ms. wife found out because of my cell phone bill. Now we are having major problems and I have moved out of OUR house. (That I paid for) She tells me that she wants to work it out, but she doesnt know where to start.

I have been told that she needs her time to figure this out. She will not believe that nothing happened, no matter what I say. She even called ms. right and asked her. She said nothing happened except talking. She refuses to accept that nothing happened. I dont want my marriage to end, no matter what. I love my wife with everything I have. What do I do???

[Commando_Barbi]

Time, honesty, love, devotion. Don't give up. Show her you love her with words and actions. Tell her you were tempted, but in the end your love for her outweighed the temptation.

It may take her a while to believe you...restoring trust is hard. Offer to go to counseling? Maybe having a 3rd party involved will help her.

Sounds like she loves you too and is willing to try....it's up to you to keep up the fight. Don't give up!

Keep us posted. Good luck.

C.B.

[nuke]

WOW. Sound ike you need to let this run its course bro.. Hang on for the ride !

Look at it this way, either way you come out scarred, but smarter ! ( and with the REAL Ms Right !!)

[clockworks]

i caught my gf cheating on me, we tried to work it out, but i never regained trust in her...even after 6 months of trying...

hehehe, i'm just being an ass. i'm sure you can work if yall were meant to be...=)

-- clocky baby

[BE_STRONG]

Barbi,

I hope that works. Thank you.

Nuke & clocks

thanks for your replys.

[Cali]

Reverse the situation. Her reaction is pretty normal if you ask me. It's probably going to take time for her to open up and counseling might be a good way to go. Give her some time to cool down and keep reminding her that you love her and want her, not "ms right." There's obviously damage done but you can always rebuild if you try hard enough.

Good luck.

[BE_STRONG]

cali,
Thanks, I did offer to go to counseling but I dont think it will help. I just made a big mistake. All I want to do is make her understand that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

[cooksbrut]

hell if she is not going to believe you anyway... pay a visit to mrs. right, enjoy yourself

[tigress]

You will need to be patient to get what you want. Think about how you would feel if the roles were reversed, would you believe nothing happened?
Stick with it, like Barbi said, be persistant, tell and show her that you love her, want only her, and that you are sorry, nothing happened, she is the one you love. Conselling might help, but right now she is probably so hurt that she needs to cool down a bit.

[Ocnorb36]

The problem is something did happen. You allowed yourself to start having feeling towards an old love and that is at the core of your wife's distrust. Probably deep down she knows nothing physical happened. From your previous threads you indicated that geography would have prevented that. Your wife does not sound like a stupid woman so I am sure she realizes the physical infidelity would have been impossible. But you had feelings of love for someone else bro. You cannot change that or get back what you had. Your relationship with your wife will never be the same. You must start dealing with that now. You knew the consequences back when you were calling your old flame. You were even at a point where you were not sure what to do. You hid the truth from your wife and in my book distance was the only thing that prevented you from physical infidelity. How things go will depend on who she is surrounding herself with. What people are giving her advice right now. Those that support your marriage or those that never really have. You are on the outside and have no power (as is it should be). My only suggestion is to lay down the truth on paper. It may take several letters to get all your thoughts out but it is time to do something you probably have not tried yet: the truth. Tell her about your conversations with this woman, how you doubted the marriage, how you felt something for this old love. Be honest and accept the consequences. For you to say "nothing happened" and "I love you and only you" will not get it done. For as painfull as it is she needs to know the truth. In all honesty that is all counseling would do anyway. Get the truth out. You knew the minute you decided to talk to this old love that this could happen, but you probably thought you could deceive and get away with it. I have been married for 10 years and together 12 and I too have run into several old flames. I cared way to much for my wife and the thought of losing her, even in the toughest of times, would be too much for me. I love her for better or worse, whether she is beautiful or not so beautiful, whether she is loving or being a total bitch. It's time for some soul searching and it is time to tell your wife everything. It may not work but you owe her that.

Oc

[BE_STRONG]

Tigress,
Thanks for the advice. I can use any good advice right now.

ocnorb,
you sound like you have been through this(in some way) before. I know I screwed up and I cant change it. I dont think anything will help at this point. It could be over and I cant do anything about.

[BE_STRONG]

little girl,

Thanks for the advice .!