Originally Posted by
Bojangles69
"Inner demon?"
You ever consider you might just be a normal dude who doesnt know how to cope with shit? So your gonna use an idea like that to make yourself feel better about your f**ked up situation rather than taking a cold hard look at some facts.
Dude the girl is not your problem. Im telling you straight up. Because a lot of people could be going through the same shit and not give 2 fVcks about it.
EVERYTHING your doing now is a way your trying to get your needs met. If you dont feel needed, wanted, appreciated and respected by certain people in your life you need to NOT hold that shit in. Dont try to man up and hide shit. Because by the time your thirty something youll feel something in your head pop and youll be lying on a cold sidewalk waiting to die. When you post a thread like this than people offer advice and you play it off like "15 lbs of oatmeal" is my therapy right now, that attitude will ONLY MAKE SHIT WORSE.
Its like you have this repression switch that gets hit the second you get honest with yourself and tell people your feeling fvcked up you play it off like doing the same shit you've been doing is gonna fix something its never fixed before.
If you got issues with people, if your doing cycles and think some chicks not noticing you because "YOUR NOT BIG ENOUGH", your living in a f**king cloud bro. And if thats what some girl your interested in uses as her criteria to date guys, you need to open your eyes and ask yourself why in the hell would you even be interested in someone like that to begin?
Because I know woman and realize thats not the reason shes not "noticing" you, or w/e you think shes doing thats not meeting your dreams/ideals/wishes.
Lifting is good. But it can be bad depending on what motivates you to do it. I use to workout to "impress" people. Than I got a 7 yr prison sentence when i was 20 and you talk about "inner demons". You talk about people not "noticing" you? You talk about your ex gf on the street f**king some dude?
Id be willing to bet that shit didnt even matter that she acted it out. Just you knowing chances are youd act that shit out 10 times a day in your head for the next however many months/years. The fact that your still thinking about this shit is prob what pisses you off the most. I've contemplated suicide, I was never someone who could cope with shit. I've been through depression, paranoia, withdrawls, beaten by you name it.
All I did was keep breathing. That became my motto. "FVCK THE WORLD AND JUST KEEP BREATHING". No f**cking way Im gonna let some chick or my family or my friends or the f/ker 3 cells down who just beat my face in get the best of me. No way are THEY gonna be the reason that I take MY LIFE.
I wasnt always like that. Crazy how I somehow thought inflicting pain on myself would teach me how to cope with pain. Cant say this is what your doing too but its usually the way shit goes. Your not as different as you prob think.
At some point the pain got so severe and suicide was the most tempting idea in my head. The only thing that stopped me is probaly the most important thing in the world. I always knew how to be honest with myself. Dont decieve yourself. Dont kick shit under the carpet and think things are fine. That shit will creep up and kill you one day.
If your truley feeling fvcked up and in real pain, the healing doesnt begin till AFTER you get off the meds and learn how to cope with shit. Use the pain to make you stronger. Dont let it break you. LIfe wont always be like this bro. And sometimes people will say "this is rock bottom, you can only go up from here". You know as much as I know thier trying to trick you into getting better.
It doesnt work that way. It CAN get A LOT worse. TRUST ME.
Im not sure if you have any kinda support system but thats prob why people are recommending therapists because to get to the point your at you either A) are a master of self-deception and are starting to see the affect of not facing your problems or B) have no support, no friends you can talk to, or no family who cares. But if your not talking to them because your a type A character thats not that you dont have support, thats you lying to yourself.
All and all I have to admit when I was in some serious fvcked up points in my life there was nothing like a complete stranger to talk to. Maybe a therapist, or some stranger whos been through shit and wants to help you through.. anyone.
You just need to realize **things change in loyalty to your beliefs**. Thats the way shit ALWAYS works. If you believe you cant get out of this slump you wont, if you believe you can you will. Notice I didnt say "think" I said "believe". You cant "think you believe" you either do or you dont.
So all I can really say is just start doing some different things. That use to help me A LOT. Switch shit up. Do something you usually dont do. Ask people if they want to go out and do shit. Become a leader, set things up, introduce people to people. NEVER tolerate anything thats not the BEST for you.
If people betray you tell them. I HAVE NO TIME FOR ASSHOLES LIKE YOU IN MY LIFE. Block them out, erase them. By setting boundaries you teach people how to treat you. And soon youll find yourself surrounded by good people like you, not the regular shit your use to.
Thats prob why you feel this way to begin. Because your surrounded by shitbags who are living in a cloud and your the only one with the balls to take a peak at shit and realize this AINT FOR YOU.
Dont plan anything major. Maybe pick up a phone and call a therapist, maybe not, just know a good one CAN change your life.
Just start doing small things your not use to. Step out your comfort zone. Break the monotony. Talk to chicks, talk to people, MAKE people notice you. The second they turn into flakes cut them off. **** the girl, you really dont care about her. WHy would you want a girl who doesnt want you anyway? You dont.
Ill tell you what your more obsessed with. Your obsessed with the situation. With the uncertainty. You see no logic or rational structure to things. More than wanting the girl you crave the structure or logic that will provide her to you. Because one thing Ive learned about life. I use to OBSESS over chicks. Once I logically learned a dependable way to get them, and stopped relying on chance or blind fate, I realized I didnt really care if I wasnt thier type.
Because its ME who got her, not luck, and ME who will get another girl when shes decides to leave (or me). Someone who might actually be my type, someone who will actually NOTICE me.
Just realize bro, your young. But your growing up, thats why your going through this pain. People are always growing up, always going through shit. Just the more you go through shit the more you realize SHIT DOESNT MEAN SHIT. Only what you think shit means.
The world is yours. And you know what. If you want to hang up and just say f**k it thats your option. BUT why not, if you have a case of the "fvck its" just say fvck it and go out into life tommorow and try your absolute hardest to make things better. Because I GUARANTEE no matter if shit goes your way or not, the fact alone that YOU GAVE IT YOUR ALL will put a smile on your face before you go to sleep EVERY night. Not that you got what you gave it your all for. How many times people want to buy a new car, or get a new gf and when the finally get it, it doesnt mean shit.
Thats because people are never chasing objects, its not the car that matters or the chick or the ideal body, its the FEELINGS that you think will proceed ownership of these items. And striving for those items is what creates those FEELINGS, actually acquiring them means a lot less then we think.
Learn how to generate those feelings just by doing some different shit, trying something new everyday. Take a day off the gym and go jump out an airplane, anything, whatever is your poison (just stay away from alcohol lol) And if you ever need advice or some "internet buddies", you got a lot on this website. I know it sounds gay, but we're real people. People like us actually live in your town, you just need to find us. Real dudes, not fake ass m/fkers. The right friends will pull you out of any ditch.
And goodluck bro. If your ever feeling fvcked up again dont think twice to shoot someone a message.
~BO
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