I'll throw my experience in - I have two friends that are a gay couple. They have now been together over 25years. They have adopted twice, both are girls. Each time the birth mother actually chose them over hetrosexual couples. Interesting huh. Anyway, the girls are 14 and 12. They are incredibly well adjusted, smart, stable and loved beyond measure. They have female cousins, aunts and female family friends who are a part of their lives. They know they are adopted now that they are older. I don't think you could convince either one of them they would have been better off than with anyone other than their Dad and Papa. I think stability and love can trump a lot of hardships in a kids life. If a child grows up knowing he/she is loved, nutured, supported and encourged - they can learn that they define who they are not others. Wouldn't it be great if we all could learn at an early age not to worry about what other people think. The things we could achive could be incredible. Anyway, my friends may not be the norm, but they are an example that it can work very successfully.