True confidence is based on beliefs and self/internal validation - Knowing what one is capable of.
Looking to the external for that confidence (in this instance bloody steroids), will have you pissing in the wind. It will fall down like a tone of bricks at the sign of a bad day. Not to mention during PCT, assuming you know what that is.
It's a long process. Take time each day and learn to gain your confidence from within.
Working towards building the physique of your dreams is a start.
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