need some "serious" relatioship advice

[BIGMAC250]

ok fellas.....here is my situation.....and dont laugh....i met this chick on the net about 8 months ago....we talked for about a month(really got to know eachother to a certain point) and when i went to check out culinary schools i made it a point to go meet her....well we met and clicked right off the bat....it was like we were friends for years....well everything went great and i wound up staying with her the whole week i was down......about a month later i visited again...and yet again things were awesome......well i couldent due the whole long distanc ething anymore cause i had certain insecurities about some things do to a past relationship...so i broke it off with her......well the school i happened to pic is about an hr and 1/2 away from her.....(yes she had something to do with it and so did a lot of other factors as to why i moved 10 hrs away from home but its an awesome school and it is priority)......so with hopes and a lot of confidence we would get back together i picked my place to live halfway between her and school.....well things worked out as planned we got back together and everything was good....she said she didnt want to rush into things and i said hey school is my main deal and im not gonna say no to when you want to see me....well next thing i know im staying with her thursday through sunday.....i have no prollems with it at all....she did things for my homework, helped me study, and "took care" of me when i needed or she wanted to......well we started arguing about dumb little shit and it started to carry over to the next week and then it jsut escalated.....and when someone yells at me i yell back....and 99% of the time its louder(plus when i dont have any down time from it and it just builds up...and i happend to shatter my windshield like an idiot for the first time in 6 years....all because i needed a release and it aint gonna be on her cause i wount do that shit)...well she aint used to that cause she is loud herself.....well shes about to start goin back to school and she wants to slow things down between us.....and i have no prollem with that at all...i respect it.....cause she aint happy with herself and of course she aint gonna be happy with anything if thats the case......but the way she went about doing it is crazy....she literally cut me off to a certain point because all we did was argue and i told her several times im done.....im tired of it...i dont want to argue anymore and lets just drop it cause it aint even worth argueing about.....but whatever...if thats her way of avoiding it so be it.....bottem line is...the only reason why i think she is doing this is because shit got bad .....slowing things down for school is one thing but doing it because of arguing......shouldent you try and work though things before you make a decision like that......i dont know....all i do know is that we both ****ed up and made mistakes......and ive learned from them....but i dont think that she sees that........shes and awesome chick.....smart, sexy, shes got the same goals in life that i do and she wants them at about the same time.........shes talked about marrage and children and stuff with me to the point where i got a lil freaked out.....but if it made her happy talking about it i would listen and talk about it with her......

so what do you guys think....hahaha after ready all that bs im sure none even read it all......but if you did...do you think shes taking it to an extreme because of the arguing and she is just and emotional cluster **** or is that just womans way of slowing things down....i dont know i need some input......if you have any questions ill ask cause there is plenty i left out.....thanx guys any help would be great

[RangersLTW]

Maybe you need a break too. If you both want to be togetherthen it will work out.

[G4R]

Ok, IMHO "spillting up" if thats kinda like what you are doing is a stretch if this is a girl you could end up spending the rest of your life with. If you both feel like you could eventually get married, the last thing you want is both of you going your own way every time you get into an argument. When me and my wife argue about stupid crap (and it gets intense sometimes), we walk away from each other and avoid any verbal communication for a couple of hours, this gives us time to cool off and just think about everything.

I guess what I am trying to say is, it all depends on how you two really feel about each other, if it could become very serious, then work it out, but if you feel that you or her could just end the relationship at any time, its not worth either one of your time.

[gixxerboy1]

i dont think she is taking it to far. She was yelling (she was wrong) you yelled louder (wrong) Then you shattered your windshield. You freaked and she is probably scared. Maybe next time you will hit her. I don't know many girls that would stick around after that.

[BIGMAC250]

Maybe you need a break too. If you both want to be togetherthen it will work out.

i personally dont need one from her.....in that short amount of time i learned a lot about how not to handle things with her.....and ive let it all go...im over it.....all im tying to do is move foreward and get it all behind us...yea things got rushed but i learned in 3 weeks what should have taken 3 months....so it was hard to handle and i reacted in ways i shouldent have.....but i want expecting things to go that bad...and argument is one thing but everything turning into one is stupid....but im respecting her decision...and thats all i can do.

Ok, IMHO "spillting up" if thats kinda like what you are doing is a stretch if this is a girl you could end up spending the rest of your life with. If you both feel like you could eventually get married, the last thing you want is both of you going your own way every time you get into an argument. When me and my wife argue about stupid crap (and it gets intense sometimes), we walk away from each other and avoid any verbal communication for a couple of hours, this gives us time to cool off and just think about everything.

I guess what I am trying to say is, it all depends on how you two really feel about each other, if it could become very serious, then work it out, but if you feel that you or her could just end the relationship at any time, its not worth either one of your time.

thats the thing everytime i would want to talk about things and get shit handle and done with over this past week she somewhat cut me off... she would just avoid it all together...i think it is cause of the way i acted and i did yell at her as much as she yelled at me....but itold her im over yelling and if shes not gonna try toning it down than i will cause im just that sick of it...and when things did get bad there were times where i just said.... look lets just leave it for now and not talk about it and get away from eachother for a few....she would get so pisssed and say im just trying to avoid the situation......and all in all......i think she is just so pissed and unhappy with herself that it carries out into everything and thats part of the reason why im just like ok...if you cant do it i will.....and the whole side of her that is coming out is....its either my way or no way at all......and thats the prollem to......the thing that is throwing me of is that her whole outlook has changed since these argumets......like 4 weeks ago she is talking about what our kids names are gonna be.....and what kind of wedding she wants...she even went as far as buying baby cloths and sippy cups for our unborn children even a baby name book.......shes not a psyco or anything thats just what she wants out of life...and it really dont bother me at all....i sat there and talked with her about all of it..and just had a good time doing it...cause ultimately thats what i want out of life...but only when the time is right and if it happens it happens for a reason....and i really do love this chick.....i mean we havent been with eachother long......but literally the moment i met her my life made a turn for the best....and i mean shit that i needed to get done or start doing to get my own life on track started to happen......her whole mindset changed after those few weeks......so i mean im gonna respect it....but how long could this last....if school really is the reason than thats cool...take as long as you want.....but if its over the arguing......its just shes thinkin only about the bad......how long does it take for women to get over that shit....i mean know im gonna play a big part in it.....but do they notice it even though they dont acknowledge it.

[RangersLTW]

Bro, tell her how you feel you seem pretty open in here. Its better to tell her than not

[GT2]

Bro, tell her how you feel you seem pretty open in here. Its better to tell her than not

Agreed. She can't read your mind so you need to be upfront and honest with her, communication is key to a successful relationship

[G4R]

Haha, asking how long it will take a woman to get over it is pointless. Its hard to tell, and it varies from woman to woman. And to tell you the truth, she may never get over it.... oh you two may make up and all seems well, but believe me, she has not forgotten, and it will be brought back up one day.

It's great that the two of you want the same things out of life, but you gotta find out if you two want the same things out of life TOGETHER. I am not telling you to rush into marriage, if you are not ready, then you are not ready. You need to find out if all the bickering and fighting is worth it, is she the one you want to fight with for the rest of your life?

Give her the time she wants right now, if you two keep coming back together, you may have found someone you don't want to risk another situation like this again, and you will learn to know what to say, and how to say it.

One more thing, I don't want to sound like I am making a bigger deal out of this than what it really is. If all this seems a bit much, then please disregard everything I have said.

[BIGMAC250]

i dont think she is taking it to far. She was yelling (she was wrong) you yelled louder (wrong) Then you shattered your windshield. You freaked and she is probably scared. Maybe next time you will hit her. I don't know many girls that would stick around after that.

and your 100% right...i dont disagree at all.....and where i ****ed up was way b4 that...when i met her she had a job that she though was going somewhere and she was happy with herself and i got to see the best of her.....when i moved i knew her situation was different but not to the extent to where she wasnt happy with herself......and i wasnt expecting her to act the way she did towards me....cause it got really harsh at times and thats what made me yell....so after coming into something completely different than what i expected and what i was used to i went into deffense mode.....cause i was in unfamiliar territory...and i really didnt get like that untill the end of the second week of it all....and by the third week is when i was trying to work things out but everything i said didnt make sense to her...it only made it worse....no matter how i would put things...everything that came out of my mouth made her feel like a peice of shit (so she says) when all i was trying to do was explain myself and why i felt the way i did......and that was the week i shattered my windshield....i wasnt in front of her though.....i was at my place and she was at hers...she didnt find out untill the next day when she saw it......and this is why i feel so bad about a lot of what i did especially the windshield..........she does come from an abusive relationship....2 actually...1 mental and 1 physical......and i know this and i would never even think about hitting a female much less showing physical behavior in front of her thats she may have caused......and the dude that mentally abused her did a # on her....i mean everything i said she would get down on herself...and i dont want to see that......she really is a handful and i know that but no woman deserves that....she told me and her mom told me.....and the thing that pisses me off and really hurts me know that people have said this to her and thats "no guy is ever gonna be happy with you and they are never gonna stay with you or be around you".....and this also sounds shitty but i dont think she has ever had someone that truly cared for her and truly loved her....and i really truly do care for and love her to death....and thats why i feel so terrible about everything that happened and alli want to do is show her thats not me..cause its really not...but at the same time i also feel like all those years of abuse and not being able to speak her mind with out fears of getting one.....are getting taken out on me and its hard.....because im not a pushover like i once was in past relationships.....ill say what i have to say but in her case i really feel it is differnt.....but was only able to keep my cool for so long......i dont even know if she realizes howmuch she would talk down to me....and thats what pushed the button and it would get pushed more than once.....and it just stayed happening.....its just hard....because u feel like you have to watch everything you say or do.....but no matter how much i did....it all comeout bad....and in the end i really felt like shit...especially knowing the past....and thats why im so stuck on proving to her im not like that.....actions speak louder than words....she hears the words but not giving me the chance to do the actions

[BIGMAC250]

Agreed. She can't read your mind so you need to be upfront and honest with her, communication is key to a successful relationship

Bro, tell her how you feel you seem pretty open in here. Its better to tell her than not

ive been trying...everytime i do she gets mad and says im making her feel like shit....even when i tell her how much i care for and love her......but im getting all off subject....hahaha ive been typing so much cause ive got so much to explain for everyone to fully get the full story.......but other than all that bs......she actually gave me a chance today to see her..and before i even talked to her today i had some flowers and a little teddy bear sent to her work while i was driving home from school and she said i could see her before she even got them.....i had no intentions of talking about anything from these past weeks...i just wanted to see her....and say high and just be around her.....well things started to get tlked about.....she started getting loud with me (cause thats just her and thats something ive learned and dealing with very well) and i didnt even raise my voice to put emphasis on words.......and thats how its been almost everyday this past week.....one day i got loud with her but thats because i was getting tired of her avoiding everything.....but after a while of me staying chill and her getting loud it just kind of calmed down......and she hit me with everything......and thats why im confused.....is she going back on a lot of what she said because of the past weeks and she is just thinking into everything....andher outlook will change over the next few weeks even though she is sticking to her word.....or is she really doing this for school....or is a mixture of the 2.........all i want is for things to get back to good again before this whole slow down really starts......it would just be easier on me not wanting this...knowing that we ar on good terms and i dont have to worry about anything

[BIGMAC250]

Haha, asking how long it will take a woman to get over it is pointless. Its hard to tell, and it varies from woman to woman. And to tell you the truth, she may never get over it.... oh you two may make up and all seems well, but believe me, she has not forgotten, and it will be brought back up one day.

It's great that the two of you want the same things out of life, but you gotta find out if you two want the same things out of life TOGETHER. I am not telling you to rush into marriage, if you are not ready, then you are not ready. You need to find out if all the bickering and fighting is worth it, is she the one you want to fight with for the rest of your life?

Give her the time she wants right now, if you two keep coming back together, you may have found someone you don't want to risk another situation like this again, and you will learn to know what to say, and how to say it.

One more thing, I don't want to sound like I am making a bigger deal out of this than what it really is. If all this seems a bit much, then please disregard everything I have said.

first off...it aint a bit much...thats why im here....i need advice....so please feel free i want to know what you know...hahaha

and thats what im trying to get out of her thats what im trying to figure out but there are just so many factors put into her decision that i dont know if shes goin on emotions because of whats happened, if she is assuming that the way i acted these past few weeks is the way i really am...and thats just the bullshit with her decision.....if im gonna go through with doing something i really dont want to or think is neccessary (only because im in school and im bout to start working again very soon things will naturally slow down cause of that....it wount be something that was forced to happen)
it would be nice to know that my effort and sacrifice is gonna pay off....now if she says yea shit awesome less worries and way more of a chnce to have something to look forward to...if she says i dont know...then its up to me how much i want to deal with and how much i want to worry about......and if she says no.....than things can get easier or....i can just keep fighting for what i want untill i cant anymore with hopes of her seeing a different light.

im gonna give her the time she needs..(its rough cause it is literally just me...i moved 10hrs away from everyone i know..and i did that purposely for school...but she gave me something to look foreward to at the end of the week and shes just taking it away)...and i already know that i dont want this shit again....ive been telling her on a daily basis....i learned the things i needed to in 3 weeks and it should have taken three months but we fast tracked everything....both of our faults......i lived i learned and im ready to take what i learned and use it and i just want her so see that.

i mean i feel like i have the right idea about it...because you are saying a lot of what i tried or saying the things i have been thinking.....i guess what it all boils down to is she wants what she wants right now...who knows how she will feel in the next week or next few weeks.....but the way i act and go about doing things is gonna play a big part in it.

[DSM4Life]

The Complete Sentence
Recognize a complete sentence when you see one.

A complete sentence has three characteristics:

* First, it begins with a capital letter.
* In addition, it includes an end mark—either a period [ . ], question mark [ ? ], or exclamation point [ ! ].
* Most importantly, the complete sentence must contain at least one main clause. A main clause contains an independent subject and verb and expresses a complete thought.

Check out these examples:

The banana rotting at the bottom of Jimmy's book bag has soaked his biology notes with ooze.

Did you notice the cricket swimming in your cup of tea?

I cannot believe that you tried one of those disgusting chocolate-broccoli muffins!

If a main clause exists in the sentence, you can attach whatever other sentence elements you need. Look at the additions to the main clause below. All of the additions make complete sentences.

A bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth.

Buzzing around the picnic table, a bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth.

A bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth, stinging the poor boy's tongue, which swelled up as big and as blue as an eggplant.

Because it smelled the peach-flavored bubble gum, a bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth.

A bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth and tickled the poor boy's tonsils.

Taking a wrong turn, a bumblebee flew into Peter's open mouth, but it buzzed back out before Peter swallowed.

Avoid an accidental fragment.

Sometimes you might begin a group of words with a capital letter, then conclude with an end mark, but forget to insert a main clause anywhere in the mix. When this happens, you have written a fragment, a major error in writing. Read the examples that follow:

Because hungry sharks flashed on the surface of the waves.

No main clause = a fragment.

Spilling the hot spaghetti sauce all over his new suede shoes.

No main clause = a fragment.

To buy nice jewelry for his greedy girlfriend Gloria.

No main clause = a fragment.

For example, a mailbox stuffed with bills, two dozen messages on the answering machine, an uppity cat, and a dead lawn.

No main clause = a fragment.

And peeked into the room, risking the wrath of Mrs. Mauzy, who has no patience for students walking into class late.

No main clause = a fragment.

Read the revisions below. You will see that adding a main clause completes the thought:

Because hungry sharks flashed on the surface of the waves, Mike and Sarah decided to return their surfboards to the car.

Leonardo grabbed the pot handle with his bare hands, spilling the hot spaghetti sauce all over his new suede shoes.

Danny sold half of his comic book collection to buy nice jewelry for his greedy girlfriend Gloria.

For example, April found a mailbox stuffed with bills, two dozen messages on the answering machine, an uppity cat, and a dead lawn.

Sherry turned the doorknob and peeked into the room, risking the wrath of Mrs. Mauzy, who has no patience for students walking into class late.

["Maximus"]

I will play "devil's advocate" here and add to some of the comments made above: avoid being an ass to this chick, thus run the chance of losing her and really miss on a great woman, per your comments made above about her.

Why I say this? Because there are two sides to your story and you're just giving your version bro. Bottom line is, be smart when dealing with women; point. If this girl is smart, sexy, caring, likes to be in your company, and demonstrated this to you from day one, the least you can do, is to REALLY listen up to whatever she has to say and act accordingly to what you know will be/is best for both of you. You seem to really care for her, dude, so do whatever it takes to fix your own issues first and then follow on to fix hers... not the other way around!

Again, I'm not trying to be rude by giving you my opinion. Just my opinion. For the most part -in the majority of cases- when things in a relationship is going haywire it is because we lack maturity and our sense of leadership, as men, has not been fully developed.

Hopefully you do as adviced/suggested throughout this thread and good luck to you.

[J-Dogg]

One of the best things I ever did with my Ex to win her over was this:

We got in a little tussle over somthing stupid when we first moved in. I don't really enjoy fighting, so I just left and went to get some photo albums to send my brother some pictures in while he was stationed in Iraq.

While I was gone, she broke 2 mirrors and the dishes. When I walked in, she was sitting on her knees crying, would not make eye contact with me.

I walked over, picked her up, I gave her a hug. I told her "Lets go get somthing to eat". I never brought it up, I took her out to dinner. We went home, I helped her clean up. She never broke the dishes again, she never broke a mirror again.

When you say "you yell louder" that's like saying you are more "jerry springger". You are not winning anything by being the louder or the most confrintational person.

I have a very close friend who reminds me of you. He wonders why he cannot find a good girl, and I suppose I understand his fustration. He trys to impress the girls by being the drunkest, "the most entertaining" and winning every argument with them. He'll never loose an argument with a girl, but eventually they will get sick of loosing no matter how much they love you. Girls are not always the best either, some times they don't have the courage to leave, instead they sleep with your friend, your brother, or get drunk and make out with a guy at a bar hoping you will leave like you've been threatening too.

If you have not caught on yet, I've been there, done that. Treat a woman like a queen and carry the confidence of a king.

[gixxerboy1]

One of the best things I ever did with my Ex to win her over was this:

We got in a little tussle over somthing stupid when we first moved in. I don't really enjoy fighting, so I just left and went to get some photo albums to send my brother some pictures in while he was stationed in Iraq.

While I was gone, she broke 2 mirrors and the dishes. When I walked in, she was sitting on her knees crying, would not make eye contact with me.

I walked over, picked her up, I gave her a hug. I told her "Lets go get somthing to eat". I never brought it up, I took her out to dinner. We went home, I helped her clean up. She never broke the dishes again, she never broke a mirror again.

When you say "you yell louder" that's like saying you are more "jerry springger". You are not winning anything by being the louder or the most confrintational person.

I have a very close friend who reminds me of you. He wonders why he cannot find a good girl, and I suppose I understand his fustration. He trys to impress the girls by being the drunkest, "the most entertaining" and winning every argument with them. He'll never loose an argument with a girl, but eventually they will get sick of loosing no matter how much they love you. Girls are not always the best either, some times they don't have the courage to leave, instead they sleep with your friend, your brother, or get drunk and make out with a guy at a bar hoping you will leave like you've been threatening too.

If you have not caught on yet, I've been there, done that. Treat a woman like a queen and carry the confidence of a king.

I agree. i think its something you learn as you get older. I dont fight with my girl anymore. Most of the time i just tell her she is right and im sorry. She is happy then im happy. I know in my head i was right thats all that matters.

[mex83]

You need a break and just focus in school bro.... girls will come and go but school doesnt.... you need to get your list and put school at one then yourself.... If you dont like or love yourself how you gonna go and love or like someone else.... You need to work on yourself before you can go and look for someone... If you dont you are going to keep on running into the same kind of situation over and over again.....

[wilson9d]

This is a common problem between men and woman. The underlying issue is poor communication neither of you know how to talk in a way that the other person understands what you mean. That is why you have the same argument over and over without resolving the problem. This can be overcome through acquiring a certain skill set.

The bigger problem is the anger issue that you both have and need to control and overcome otherwise you will have problems in all of your relationships including those with family.

[Kratos]

I have no advise but I can't get a mental picture of how you break a windsheild. What did you do? punch it?

[Bojangles69]

I remember way back I use to give good advice on relationship problems but I seem to genuinely not care anymore.

Something with my attention span shrinking everytime I feel the first sentence of one relationship thread was the same as the last.

[Panzerfaust]

I will play "devil's advocate" here and add to some of the comments made above: avoid being an ass to this chick, thus run the chance of losing her and really miss on a great woman, per your comments made above about her.

Why I say this? Because there are two sides to your story and you're just giving your version bro. Bottom line is, be smart when dealing with women; point. If this girl is smart, sexy, caring, likes to be in your company, and demonstrated this to you from day one, the least you can do, is to REALLY listen up to whatever she has to say and act accordingly to what you know will be/is best for both of you. You seem to really care for her, dude, so do whatever it takes to fix your own issues first and then follow on to fix hers... not the other way around!

Again, I'm not trying to be rude by giving you my opinion. Just my opinion. For the most part -in the majority of cases- when things in a relationship is going haywire it is because we lack maturity and our sense of leadership, as men, has not been fully developed.

Hopefully you do as adviced/suggested throughout this thread and good luck to you.

This guy is like a poet! He speaks the truth!

[Panzerfaust]

I have no advise but I can't get a mental picture of how you break a windsheild. What did you do? punch it?

Roid Rage man..Roid Rage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DAtor8bhN0

[BIGMAC250]

I have no advise but I can't get a mental picture of how you break a windsheild. What did you do? punch it?

yessir.....its not llike it leterally shattered......but its really ****ed......it looks like some through a softball at my windshield except from the inside

[BIGMAC250]

Roid Rage man..Roid Rage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DAtor8bhN0

hahahaha...that was pretty funny....but it aint nothing like that......but other than that.....we have been talking about everything so we will see in a few days what happens....im def feeling better about the situation though.

[Bojangles69]

ok fellas.....here is my situation.....and dont laugh....i met this chick on the net about 8 months ago....we talked for about a month(really got to know eachother to a certain point) and when i went to check out culinary schools i made it a point to go meet her....well we met and clicked right off the bat....it was like we were friends for years....well everything went great and i wound up staying with her the whole week i was down......about a month later i visited again...and yet again things were awesome......well i couldent due the whole long distanc ething anymore cause i had certain insecurities about some things do to a past relationship...so i broke it off with her......well the school i happened to pic is about an hr and 1/2 away from her.....(yes she had something to do with it and so did a lot of other factors as to why i moved 10 hrs away from home but its an awesome school and it is priority)......so with hopes and a lot of confidence we would get back together i picked my place to live halfway between her and school.....well things worked out as planned we got back together and everything was good....she said she didnt want to rush into things and i said hey school is my main deal and im not gonna say no to when you want to see me....well next thing i know im staying with her thursday through sunday.....i have no prollems with it at all....she did things for my homework, helped me study, and "took care" of me when i needed or she wanted to......well we started arguing about dumb little shit and it started to carry over to the next week and then it jsut escalated.....and when someone yells at me i yell back....and 99% of the time its louder(plus when i dont have any down time from it and it just builds up...and i happend to shatter my windshield like an idiot for the first time in 6 years....all because i needed a release and it aint gonna be on her cause i wount do that shit)...well she aint used to that cause she is loud herself.....well shes about to start goin back to school and she wants to slow things down between us.....and i have no prollem with that at all...i respect it.....cause she aint happy with herself and of course she aint gonna be happy with anything if thats the case......but the way she went about doing it is crazy....she literally cut me off to a certain point because all we did was argue and i told her several times im done.....im tired of it...i dont want to argue anymore and lets just drop it cause it aint even worth argueing about.....but whatever...if thats her way of avoiding it so be it.....bottem line is...the only reason why i think she is doing this is because shit got bad .....slowing things down for school is one thing but doing it because of arguing......shouldent you try and work though things before you make a decision like that......i dont know....all i do know is that we both ****ed up and made mistakes......and ive learned from them....but i dont think that she sees that........shes and awesome chick.....smart, sexy, shes got the same goals in life that i do and she wants them at about the same time.........shes talked about marrage and children and stuff with me to the point where i got a lil freaked out.....but if it made her happy talking about it i would listen and talk about it with her......

so what do you guys think....hahaha after ready all that bs im sure none even read it all......but if you did...do you think shes taking it to an extreme because of the arguing and she is just and emotional cluster **** or is that just womans way of slowing things down....i dont know i need some input......if you have any questions ill ask cause there is plenty i left out.....thanx guys any help would be great

Women don't have a special way of slowing things down compared to men.

And smarter people learn earlier in life the best way OUT of a situation isn't really slowing things down but cutting it cold and dry.

You might not know her past but if shes attractive and tolerable chances are she's been involved with a lot of guys in the past, or more then you realize.

If she was really really into you it would obviously have been harder to detach from whatever you had going on together.
But because I don't think she was, (or YOU were) and you both may have been more a "convenience" to each other then anything more, things simply became "inconvenient" for her, prob moreso when windows started breaking.

I also think because SHE's the one whos really pulling out, its provoking you to wanna move forward, figure things out (that don't matter or mean shit) and you're prob spending wayy more time then neccessary thinking about it.

So I won't say stop thinking about it, because that never works.
Just realize, who cares?
It REALLY doesn't matter.

One cardinal rule you must always live by with women is the *second you sense them distancing themself you pull back immediately.
Because in general psychology, the person with a lower percieved esteem and value will always chase the one with a higher pecieved value.

And the act alone of a girl (or guy) pulling away can tempt the other person to feel like they are not worthy of the others time. You'll ask yourself a million indirect questions that all center around WHY. Why isn't it me pulling away?

And you'll never figure it out because your attaching meaning to a question that has no answer.
Just understand, if there were 3 girls right now, sitting next to you, one a bit better then this girl, one girl the same, one girl maybe a little worse, NO MATTER WHAT, you WOULD NOT be giving 2 shits right now about why or what happened.

Because you're percieving yourself as MORE worthy in that situation, the proof is sitting around you (well we *believe its proof) but in reality NOTHING MEANS SHIT. You would feel better, and not care, but you're still tricking yourself either way you percieve the situation, in this case in a positive way.

Which is why I say fvck it all. Just go find a new piece of tail and realize nothing you're thinking now really matters but that. =]

[40plusnewbie]

i dont think she is taking it to far. She was yelling (she was wrong) you yelled louder (wrong) Then you shattered your windshield. You freaked and she is probably scared. Maybe next time you will hit her. I don't know many girls that would stick around after that.

When I was dating my (now) wife one time when we were driving and arguing about something I got really upset and yelled really really loud at her. Like I screamed at her. We were dating about a year and I was very much in love with her. The 15 years before that I was a man whore banging random chicks and never having a girlfriend. Anyway she told me to pull over the car and kept telling me to pull over so I did. She told me she was getting out and I told her let me just drive you home. She said no I want to get out. I put my hand on her shoulder gently, not preventing her from leaving, but apologizing and asking her to not get out. She told me she did not want to talk to me anymore and to please let her leave. I wasn't preventing her but took my hand off of her anyway and she left and walked away. I felt terrible. I really had no practice at relationships and don't think I screamed at anyone like that in probably 20 years before that day.

I called her to apologize a cpl days later and she still told me to leave her alone. I talked to a confidante about this as I felt like shit about myself and he told me that if there is love there she will call you. After about a week she did.

I was pretty freaked and she was very scared of me when it happened. I couldn't really grasp that at the time (and still kinda have a hard time doing so fully) but I guess a man doing that to a woman is really scary, different than a guy yelling at another guy...if your friends already. Your really not gonna feel scared even if he is 3x your size b/c you know he's not gonna whale on you but it's different for girls I guess. They start to imagine the worst after that and if your gonna escalate next time and do something worse. And it's really messed up because your in a relationship so it's kinda like you take your little neice or nephew into a room and get right in their face and start screaming at them. They will friggin freak and be scared as hell of you. Same thing (or worse) if you physically act out and break something while yelling at them. They get scared next time it's gonna be their head.

[spywizard]

Come on.. when a woman says she needs a break the correct response is, "Oh thank goodness you think so too, I'm just so young and there are so many people that i want to meet and discover about myself, i'm glad you understand"

and when a woman says she needs time apart what she really means is

"I'm already dating someone else, so I can't see you anymore, he's the boyfriend now"

Kick that shit to the curb...

congrats...

ok fellas.....here is my situation.....and dont laugh....i met this chick on the net about 8 months ago....we talked for about a month(really got to know eachother to a certain point) and when i went to check out culinary schools i made it a point to go meet her....well we met and clicked right off the bat....it was like we were friends for years....well everything went great and i wound up staying with her the whole week i was down......about a month later i visited again...and yet again things were awesome......well i couldent due the whole long distanc ething anymore cause i had certain insecurities about some things do to a past relationship...so i broke it off with her......well the school i happened to pic is about an hr and 1/2 away from her.....(yes she had something to do with it and so did a lot of other factors as to why i moved 10 hrs away from home but its an awesome school and it is priority)......so with hopes and a lot of confidence we would get back together i picked my place to live halfway between her and school.....well things worked out as planned we got back together and everything was good....she said she didnt want to rush into things and i said hey school is my main deal and im not gonna say no to when you want to see me....well next thing i know im staying with her thursday through sunday.....i have no prollems with it at all....she did things for my homework, helped me study, and "took care" of me when i needed or she wanted to......well we started arguing about dumb little shit and it started to carry over to the next week and then it jsut escalated.....and when someone yells at me i yell back....and 99% of the time its louder(plus when i dont have any down time from it and it just builds up...and i happend to shatter my windshield like an idiot for the first time in 6 years....all because i needed a release and it aint gonna be on her cause i wount do that shit)...well she aint used to that cause she is loud herself.....well shes about to start goin back to school and she wants to slow things down between us.....and i have no prollem with that at all...i respect it.....cause she aint happy with herself and of course she aint gonna be happy with anything if thats the case......but the way she went about doing it is crazy....she literally cut me off to a certain point because all we did was argue and i told her several times im done.....im tired of it...i dont want to argue anymore and lets just drop it cause it aint even worth argueing about.....but whatever...if thats her way of avoiding it so be it.....bottem line is...the only reason why i think she is doing this is because shit got bad .....slowing things down for school is one thing but doing it because of arguing......shouldent you try and work though things before you make a decision like that......i dont know....all i do know is that we both ****ed up and made mistakes......and ive learned from them....but i dont think that she sees that........shes and awesome chick.....smart, sexy, shes got the same goals in life that i do and she wants them at about the same time.........shes talked about marrage and children and stuff with me to the point where i got a lil freaked out.....but if it made her happy talking about it i would listen and talk about it with her......

so what do you guys think....hahaha after ready all that bs im sure none even read it all......but if you did...do you think shes taking it to an extreme because of the arguing and she is just and emotional cluster **** or is that just womans way of slowing things down....i dont know i need some input......if you have any questions ill ask cause there is plenty i left out.....thanx guys any help would be great

[wilson9d]

Come on.. when a woman says she needs a break the correct response is, "Oh thank goodness you think so too, I'm just so young and there are so many people that i want to meet and discover about myself, i'm glad you understand"

and when a woman says she needs time apart what she really means is

"I'm already dating someone else, so I can't see you anymore, he's the boyfriend now"

Kick that shit to the curb...

congrats...

Genius

[DSM4Life]

Come on.. when a woman says she needs a break the correct response is, "Oh thank goodness you think so too, I'm just so young and there are so many people that i want to meet and discover about myself, i'm glad you understand"

and when a woman says she needs time apart what she really means is

"I'm already dating someone else, so I can't see you anymore, he's the boyfriend now"

Kick that shit to the curb...

congrats...

lol.

Back when i dated women one of my LTR girlfriends told me
"I'm not sure i want to be in a relationship right now."

my response.

"Oh, so you want to throw away a LTR to be a slut, good luck with that"

Her response
"......................................."