Married and wanting out.

**higherdesire** · 04-09-2009, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

Now she tries to treat me like a child instead of her husband. Always questioning why i spent money on something. Calling me like 20 times a day to check in. Always a fight if i want to go golfing or have a beer with my friends. Its like freaking answering to your mom when you were growing up.

Dude is my wife leading a double life? Sounds like her. Listen man, she is acting like that in all liklihood becasue there is a reason. THey change into that because we have exhibited behavior that leads them to that.

I bet when ya'll first got together it was ok for you to go out and party with the boys? And you had a lot more latitude when it came to when and where you spent your money? Along the way the relationship got more and more serious, and the criteria for staying in the healthy relationship changes. So you either adapt to that by including her in the financial decisions and staying home more and when you do go out being responsable instead of acting like you're on furlough from prison, or you don't move into a serious relationship.

It is niave to expect the same protocol to exist five years down the road. She may well be trying to steer you in the land flowing with milk and honey. Over compensate for a year and do it her way knowing that it should instill confidence in her towards you and then see how things are. Don't look at it like being a punk, look at it like this is what it takes for me to get what I want which is a women that trusts me, and that I want to be around. It is a lot of work. If you handle your end flawlessly then maybe you save the marriage. If you don't want to put in the effort then bail out but don't set an expamplle for your kids that is disfunctional.

Good luck.

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

Now she tries to treat me like a child instead of her husband. Always questioning why i spent money on something. Calling me like 20 times a day to check in. Always a fight if i want to go golfing or have a beer with my friends. Its like freaking answering to your mom when you were growing up.

Divorce that.

That would piss me off extremely.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:39 AM

That is a real concern of mine right now. the kids. i would give up everything to make sure i can see my daughters everyday. the thought of only having them every other week freakin kills me. but if it came down to the well being of my kids i would absolutely deal with that. i just want the best for my kids. and i certainly dont want them to be messed up like i am from my parents.

RA · 04-09-2009, 11:41 AM

My ex and I came to an agreement where I get them 4 days this week 3 days next and that gives me every other weekend...but we avoided the war that most couples go through.

Originally Posted by Mase33

That is a real concern of mine right now. the kids. i would give up everything to make sure i can see my daughters everyday. the thought of only having them every other week freakin kills me. but if it came down to the well being of my kids i would absolutely deal with that. i just want the best for my kids. and i certainly dont want them to be messed up like i am from my parents.

**scerpico22** · 04-09-2009, 11:41 AM

Originally Posted by BIG_TRUCK

Divorce that.

That would piss me off extremely.

4 years of marriage and two kids...and because she calls 20x's a day and gets upset for the hanging out...just divorce that...yup thats just great advice right there...

**B.E.N.** · 04-09-2009, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

Now she tries to treat me like a child instead of her husband. Always questioning why i spent money on something. Calling me like 20 times a day to check in. Always a fight if i want to go golfing or have a beer with my friends. Its like freaking answering to your mom when you were growing up.

You sound pretty immature to me bro.

Why has no one else picked up on this?!?! She is PREGNANT! She is VERY emotional right now of course. She needs a MAN to be there for her. She needs a FATHER to take care of her/his duaghter so she can concentrate on taking care of herself and the child (YOUR's) growing inside her.

Sounds like she is insecure? Yeah right...sounds like you are insecure. Golf? Beer with friends? Your wife is at home pregnant genius with a three year old...who are not easy to take care of. Priorities. Self Discipline.

This is what you signed up for when you got married. You know for better or worse. Now is the worse! So stand up and be a man now.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:42 AM

yeah didnt really take big_trucks advise there.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:44 AM

BEN. she has not been pregnant for the last 2 years. and its not like i go out golfing and drinking with my friends every weekend. its maybe 1 time every 1-2 months. thats not a lot.

RA · 04-09-2009, 11:44 AM

I didnt see that she was pregnant..

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

yeah didnt really take big_trucks advise there.

Your the one saying "I want out". Then you post in 2 threads bitching about how she is.

I was just saying what you obviously wanted to hear going by the thread so far.

Either divorce her or stay with someone you don't enjoy your entire life. I could care less for your happiness.

Good luck with her changing for the better. That always happens lol

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:49 AM

just looking for advise from maybe somebody that has been through the same thing or that has seen the same thing BIG.

RA · 04-09-2009, 11:49 AM

lol, you do make a good point but sometimes counciling helps.

Originally Posted by BIG_TRUCK

Your the one saying "I want out". Then you post in 2 threads bitching about how she is.

I was just saying what you obviously wanted to hear going by the thread so far.

Either divorce her or stay with someone you don't enjoy your entire life. I could care less for your happiness.

Good luck with her changing for the better. That always happens lol

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by RA

lol, you do make a good point but sometimes counciling helps.

Yeah, I would try a little of that council first, thrown in there with a little communication with wifey.

Verbally bitch slap her next time she nags you for going golfing & having a beer with your friends. You said you do this only a few times a month!? How dare you... Your an awful person. lol

**higherdesire** · 04-09-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

just looking for advise from maybe somebody that has been through the same thing or that has seen the same thing BIG.

Really. did you miss my post?

**B.E.N.** · 04-09-2009, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by Mase33

BEN. she has not been pregnant for the last 2 years. and its not like i go out golfing and drinking with my friends every weekend. its maybe 1 time every 1-2 months. thats not a lot.

Oh now it makes sense....

You have been unhappy for 24 months but you all decided to have another kid together. Got it! Sack up and fix the problem.

Sounds more and more like YOU are the problem to me.

P.S. I've got a kid...also been through a rough patch in a relationship. Does that qualify my advice?

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:56 AM

lol. if that much. i could see an argument if im gone like every weekend leaving her at home with a 3 year old. come stubbling into the house drunk off my ass. but thats just not the case. every guy needs some guy time and i dont think i have talked to a woman yet that understands that.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 11:57 AM

no. i read your post higherdesire and i appreciate it. i was just explaining.

**xlxBigSexyxlx** · 04-09-2009, 11:58 AM

Im actually with B.E.N. on this one.

RA · 04-09-2009, 12:01 PM

Your single right now....arent you? lol

Originally Posted by BIG_TRUCK

Yeah, I would try a little of that council first, thrown in there with a little communication with wifey.

Verbally bitch slap her next time she nags you for going golfing & having a beer with your friends. You said you do this only a few times a month!? How dare you... Your an awful person. lol

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:01 PM

i respect your opinion BEN.

**Dobie-BOY** · 04-09-2009, 12:02 PM

The main question here is do you want it to work? Does she? If yes it can be fixed. If either answers no, Cut your losses and move on. Your days here are numbered. Live as many of them as you can happy. AAAWWWWWWWW! GROUP HUG??

**B.E.N.** · 04-09-2009, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by Mase33

lol. if that much. i could see an argument if im gone like every weekend leaving her at home with a 3 year old. come stubbling into the house drunk off my ass. but thats just not the case. every guy needs some guy time and i dont think i have talked to a woman yet that understands that.

Yep...I call mine 'lifting'.

A beer and grab-ass at a bar I now call superfluous.

Don't come on here looking for sympathy like that. There are cats on here that are jacked and are Dads too. Get your priorities straight. You want to be a bachelor or you want to be a father?

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:06 PM

never said i was looking for sympathy ben. just advise. read the posts. i dont play grab-ass and if you read that in this post then i stated myself wrong. truth is you did not read that in this post. you are making assumptions. my priorities are straight. they are my kids and my wife. if they were not i would have cut my losses a long time ago. but i have not and am trying to work on things. so like i said before i was looking for advise from people that have been through something like this.

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by RA

Your single right now....arent you? lol

LOL!........Yep

RA · 04-09-2009, 12:13 PM

LMAO! I must be psychic

Originally Posted by BIG_TRUCK

LOL!........Yep

**Dobie-BOY** · 04-09-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by B.E.N.

Yep...I call mine 'lifting'.

A beer and grab-ass at a bar I now call superfluous.

Don't come on here looking for sympathy like that. There are cats on here that are jacked and are Dads too. Get your priorities straight. You want to be a bachelor or you want to be a father?

Well, I don't think many of us here feel as harshly as you, BUT you do raise one good point / question. "Do you want to be a bachelor or a father" , though I feel he's pretty sure he wants to be afather, I'm not sure he knows rather or not he wants to be married.

**B.E.N.** · 04-09-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by Mase33

never said i was looking for sympathy ben. just advise. read the posts. i dont play grab-ass and if you read that in this post then i stated myself wrong. truth is you did not read that in this post. you are making assumptions. my priorities are straight. they are my kids and my wife. if they were not i would have cut my losses a long time ago. but i have not and am trying to work on things. so like i said before i was looking for advise from people that have been through something like this.

Okay apologizes then.

You got the best advice...communication.

**fit4ever** · 04-09-2009, 12:15 PM

Mase33, just sent you a PM.

**Matt** · 04-09-2009, 12:16 PM

Is she hot??

**Matt** · 04-09-2009, 12:17 PM

I could give my expert opinion but i need to see lots of naked pictures first...

RA · 04-09-2009, 12:18 PM

lol, shallow matt

Originally Posted by MAD MATT

Is she hot??

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by RA

LMAO! I must be psychic

Dam Your Gooood

Mase, I'm on your side. You should be able to have outside fun with your friends. You should be able to golf once a month if you want to. Being bitched out over finances should piss you off. And being called 20 times a day bitching about finances & asking "where you at" should piss you off. You are not alone, I'm pissed for you just by imagining having your life.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:20 PM

lol big.

**higherdesire** · 04-09-2009, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by B.E.N.

Yep...I call mine 'lifting'.

A beer and grab-ass at a bar I now call superfluous.

Don't come on here looking for sympathy like that. There are cats on here that are jacked and are Dads too. Get your priorities straight. You want to be a bachelor or you want to be a father?

BEN I agree with most of this. The only comment is that it is, for me atleast, too easy to go with what we 'want'. It is much more difficult to do somehting you don't necessarily 'want' to do at the time but you do it becasue it is the right thing to do. This guy is looking for some constituents to justify leaving and doing the wrong thing becasue he obvioulsy doesn't want to man up and do the right thing. You know what I mean? DO the right thing until it becomes your want. I don't want to go to the gym sometimes but i know if I don't I will loose all I have worked so hard for, so I do it. And sometimes I leave feeling like I wasted my time. I know that I didn;t though.

**BIG_TRUCK** · 04-09-2009, 12:20 PM

Mase, don't be that douche bag who won't go out with the guys to watch a game on the tv , or golf on saturday because your wife said you can't.

You will be labeled my friend.

***RAGE*** · 04-09-2009, 12:21 PM

All right, you buy my gear for the next two years and I will KILL HER FOR YOU.

PM me the details.....

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:26 PM

higherdesire i am not trying to justify leaving my wife. i am not going anywhere. i started this thread to get some good sound advise from people that have been there and came out on the good side of it all. like i said if i wanted to leave i would have been gone. i am trying to dot he right thing here. sorry if you read something different.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:28 PM

with that being said i know that i need to look inside myself to figure out what is wrong. then communicate because i will be the first to admit im not the best communicator in the world. thanks to everyone for their advise.

**scerpico22** · 04-09-2009, 12:29 PM

good luck, let us know how it goes.

**Mase33** · 04-09-2009, 12:30 PM

thanks scerpico22. i know i have a long road of hard work ahead of me. i will keep you posted.

Thread: Married and wanting out.

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