Quote Originally Posted by Hazard;4761***
We have talked..... again and again and again...... but we never get anywhere when we talk because everytime we talk EVERYTHING is my fault LOL - i refuse to beliueve our marriage is failing because of JUST me......

ok get this..... this is what she said to me last week "you don't do sh*t around here..... NOTHING...... you just workout, hang-out with friends, and do what you want..... but you don't care about this house or me....."

Now thats certainly not true..... here's a list of sh*t i do

1) all the laundry
2) cook dinner
3) maintain the grass and outside of the house
4) take care of our cars (oil changes, brakes)
5) Take care of major problems with house (Put on a new roof, installed new water heater)
6) SOMETIMES do the dishes..... not all the time tho.

I DO NOT and i'm sorry.... WILL NOT vaccuum the f*ckin floors/rugs, dust, clean the bathroom...... how much more do i need to do? I hate having to measure how much I do compared to her but she always does this to me - and i had to start keeping track of what I did around the house because, like most guys, i don't have information stored in my head just "in case" we have an arguement. I swear to god - women win arguments because they don't make sense when the fight with you. Theres no way to reason with sh*t that doesn't make sense.....

regarding her depression - shes had it as a child and it got better. When her father passed 4 years ago it got worse and has never been the same. The thing is..... I love her...... always will..... we've worked through problems shes had in the past. This time tho..... shes attacking ME..... what I do..... what I enjoy. It's very hard for me to "conversate" with someone who's constantly telling me what I'M doing wrong..... or how i'm f*cking with her head..... I try..... i bite my tongue..... sometimes i flip my cork and threaten to leave.

Another thing she tells me is that if I don't appreciate her then tell her because theres a guy out there that will...... SERIOUSLY......? WTF.....? I'm getting to the point of offering the next guy I see $100 to spend an hour with her.....

I've got a lot of patience..... i've been trying to work through this with her..... i think i'm going to have to look into this video. I need SOMETHING..... her own familly tells me they don't know how i can put up with her sometimes..... they also agree that she hasn't been like this but they don't know where it came from.....

I told her today we could go and get a nice dinner then watch the new harry potter movie (she loves them)(i wont lie..... i do too) - we'll see how tonite goes again lol

~Haz~

I think the obvious problem is you're just stuck.

You've been with her for too long and have progressively learned to tolerate her shit. Which is also the same exact reason she gives you shit, you tolerate it.
Now you're starting to see why problems like this need to be fixed on day 1. When you drag it out this long it can't be "fixed".
If you try the accusations will amplify.

The FIRST time a women steps out of line she needs to KNOW, UNDERSTAND AND FEEL the fact that you will absolutely under NO circumstances tolerate it.

You need to make a decision, either you ARE or you ARE NOT gonna tolerate it. History provides us the tendency that you ARE, cause its what you've always done before. Otherwise you wouldn't be with her or she wouldn't be acting like a crazy fvck.

Thats why, and I hate to say it, I believe you are a bit fvcked.
You're either gonna deal with it so it can continue for another 10 years, or end shit now.

But at minimum I think you need to demand respect, tell her you don't have the energy or patience to deal with it anymore. Then when she does it again, go somewhere else for a loonnggg time. Or as long as possible.
Untill she realizes you're making boundaries that are real this time.

But I still don't see a good outcome either way. Unless she miraculously becomes happy one day which doesn't happen. g/luck