Quote Originally Posted by The Deuce View Post
I'm working on it T-Mos, I really am... everything compiled into one.. and since this is where I spend most of my time.. most of my emotional rants/ feelings will come out on here.. because I am either at the gym, in the fridge or on here... I choose not to have a real world life because it only brought me down.. all I had for friends were junkies and I inherently turned into one... so as part of my recovery process it was to eliminate EVERYONE from my life who was using and bringing me down.. so I did that and ooohhh look at that I am left with NO ONE BUT MY WIFE and MY KIDS... The only way I can ensure that I am surrounded by clean people is by way of the internet... sad I understand but I DO NOT DARE make any new friends in the slight chance that they turn out to be a bad influence and cause a relapse. At this point I do not need it. I am over 7 months clean, and am DAMN proud of that. So if I seem emotionally detached or indifferent keep in mind that I have a lot on my plate that i try not to take out on people here but I have trust issues... and YES i see a counselor.. and YES i do the program that I am supposed to... THIS PLACE makes me feel like I matter and that I am welcome.. so when I am accused of such things of course I will get upset.. but I am trying to get better.. it doesnt happen overnight ya know..
I understand this very well. But, eventually you have to step out into the real world and face your fears. You have to accept the things you cannot change. Sobriety depends on it.