If she is chatting in 3 differant places with this guy she is entertaining him. She is looking for whatever is lacking in your marrage or relationship. someone had to give him access to all these places there togather.

It sounds like you have a problem.

If you cell phones are in your name you can call the cell provider and they will tell you how to access the text messages. Also there is an online site somewhere where you can pay and they will e-mail you all her texts. You can also buy a sim card reader pretty cheap . And when she is asleep read everything she has done with her phone. Calls teats ect.