Anal sex, first time ADVICE PLLLZZZZZZ

[ranging1]

ROFL i had to read this to get it outa u ey?

good mate...

go get anotehr bum buddy to shove pins in your fat leg whilst you have panic attacks.



it's over, t-gunz lets find someone else.

suk my shot covered dik black india

ur a shit mate

dog mate

dog shit mate

mate that shits dogs

[dezza6969]

OKAY so i FUKKKKKKKKED it


well shouldnt say i fuked it but EVERYTHING today went wrong


ILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING

first we went out for the night, with couple her work friends for dinner etc, nps

then we left and went back to her house

unfortunatly when we showed up her paresnts were home, so couldnt do anything their

so we just decided to do the usual and park the car somewhere


and this is where it went BADDD

i starting rubbing her up and FML she had her period

i didnt give a shit, i was keen to do the dirtiest deeds

so i told her not to worry about it,

how much blood could their be i thought?

well FUKKKKKK my life, their was alot

still didnt care, just threw a connie on and thrashed away, then pulled out the vibrating condom out for a little fun to warm her up

then the pain came

let me explain what pain

today before i saw my gf i thought id shave my nuts n stuff, unfortunaly my trimmer is fukin broken and cuts me everytime i put it on my nuts or knob,

so i tried trimming my nuts, and what ya know i cut myself 3 times

so i gave up with that

and thought id try the hair removal cream insted for a change

rubbed it on, let it sit for 5mins, all sweet

rubbed it off and what ya know nuts starting hurting little, and really sensitive

so i hoped in the shower, and washed myself and my nuts

used abit of skin wash on my nuts to help wahs off any hair removal cream left

when i hoped out the shower my nuts felt really DRY, and skin was crinkly and irritating

so i thought id put moisturizer on them

rub it on and felt GREAT, i was liek sweet

then after 10 seconds of applying the stuff to my nuts, it started

MY NUTS WERE on fire, it was liek putting them on a hot plate, i was screaming in PAINNNNNNNNN

so i ran to the shower to wash them off again

hoped back out shower and they still were DRY as fuk, and hurting

so i looked through my bathroom cabinet and found skin wash for senstive skin

sweet i thought, rubbed it on, (checked to see if it burnt first) but it felt fine

give it 1 minute from walking out my bathroom and down my stairs and OMG the painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

ran back up my stairs screaming into my shower and washed myself again


ONLY this time the fukin cream wouldnt come off, and id forgoten to take my socks off when i ran into the shower

so their i am scrubing away in pain, with socks on in the shower

finally i get the cream off and out the shower

since my socks were wet the first step i take out the shower i slip over and land flat first on the base of my spine

FUKKKKKKK it hurt

so i get changed in pain, and find my hairless nuts are sticking to my underwear, and when i pull them apart its like stickytape on my nuts,

fukin hurts

and everytime i touch my nuts with warm fingers its like pinching them, and it KILLED

so not only were my nuts stiking to my undies like sticky tape, but everytime i try to adjust them it hurt, and felt like they were beeing pinched HARD

this lasted for the WHOLE night, i was scared to sit down since my nuts would burn everytime i did

anyways back on track tot he story

here i am screwing my girl friend, blood dripping everywhere since shes on her period

but im just ignoring it

finally after fukin that its time to get in her ass

i lube my fingers and her ass up and start slinding in and out, was a struggle becuase my pinkie could barely fit in thet start

eventually i got 4 fingers in their

Unfortunatly when i pull them out they were covered in blood, yes her clit and flowed liek river down there

so i pulled out my gym towel (my SHAMWOW), cleaned my fingers and tried again, ignoring the blood

after i thought i had streched her enough i pulled my hand out and what do ya know their was more then just blood on their

YUKKKKKKKKKKK

so gym towel again it was

wiped my fingers off

STUPID me, for some reason has a habit of always smelling my fingers after ive cleaned or wiped them

so me being the idiot without realised i SMELLED my fingers

FMLLLLLLLLLLL, that was just off putting

but yet again i was persitant,

so i bent my gf over and got her bum up in the air, stuck the fingers in and then tried my dick

UNfotunataly AGAIN my girlfriends car is very small, so i couldnt angle myself to dogy fuk her in the arse

i feel over in the process and hit my head on the handbrake

OUCHHHHH

but i was still persistant

so i decided to get my gf, to sit in my lap and fuk her ass that way

so i got her in my lap, and i could see blood driping down her leg (very fukin off putting again) but i continued

i could also see some shit stains running along her bumhole ARRRHHHHHHHHH

but i moved on, took me neally 10 minutes to get my dick in,

far out it was fukin tight

and everytime it popped in, her bum would push me back out

and then in the process i went SOFT twice could i was giving up hope

BUT i got in their FINALLY

was in their about 5mins, and my gf was actually liking it,

stupid me for some reason couldnt get over the thought that i had shit on my hand, kept popping into my mind while i was fukin my gfs ass


and this is where it went nasty and ruined it

MY GF suggested i use the vibrating condom ring in her ass

GREAT i thought shes liking this

so i slap the vibrating ring on

again takes me another 10minutes ot get in the bumhole

not becuase it was to tight, but i couldnt feel my dick through all rubber form the condom, huge amounts of lubricant and a vibrating cock ring that made my dik numb

FINALLY i get it in

and she loves it

would have had 3-4 short strokes when i decided to be naughty **** and shove the whole thing in their nice and hard

so i go

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 small slides

and them WAMMMMM

big stroke deep in their

once i hit the end i think the vibrating condom mad emy dick tickle her to deep

and FARTTTTTTTTTT

my girl friend rips this huge fart, and my dik comes flying out and she falls forward


UNFORTUNATLTY my dik didnt come out alone


my gf shit herself, and not the turd type, the mash potato type







soooooooo the scene???


my girlfriend face first ontop of the handbrake with her but facing me in the sky, with shit stains running down it


and their i was

sitting in the middle of the back seat

legs spread, blood and shit on my hands, and a spray of poop and blood running down my chest and cheeks


and a BIG PILE of mash potato in my lap, with a a carrot stick (top forskin part of my dik) poking out the pile



and it smelt like pumkin soup









FMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



and here i am now 2 hours later on my comp after being in the shower for the last hour telling yous how it went



worst moment of my life

!!!!!!!!!!ahahahahahhahahaha oh fuk fuk hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this mustve been the most fubar anal experience of all time

[Hoggage_54]

[wharton]

If you had recorded that shit you would have been as popular as "2 girls one cup" LoL. Oh and your girl is one dirty bitch lol

[paulzane]

All that you needed to make your night complete was her father tapping on the window as she shit herself!

Priceless story .... thanks for sharing.

[ranging1]

If you had recorded that shit you would have been as popular as "2 girls one cup" LoL. Oh and your girl is one dirty bitch lol

LMFAO AHAHAHHAHAHAH thats so true, dammit couldve made some money

All that you needed to make your night complete was her father tapping on the window as she shit herself!

Priceless story .... thanks for sharing.

i dotn think my luck could get that bad, though if it had my life would be over

[Bojangles69]

I honestly can't help but feel partly responsible for this.

There is just no way in hell he would have persisted through all that shit (figuratively and literally speaking lmao) if it wasn't for this thread.
I really do think because he was focusing on it so much, and prob wanted to end this thread, that he did a lot of things the normal person wouldn't.

I do want to say a few things on the side.

First, you're girl is the shit, really, no jokes, you possibly put her through one of the most akward sexual experiences of a womans life, and for her to laugh at you was really cool imo (although I'm sure it angered you). But I can see a good shared of girls bursting into tears and panicking if they ever shit on their bf, which would have only made things so much worse.

I know you're gonna have the smell of her shit in your mind next time you fvck, but you owe that girl a handshake imo.

Next, about the nuts thing. And this is how I knew the story was all factual cause a lot of people would instinctly think a moisturizing cream would HELP your nuts after hair removal. I did the SAME exact thing myself and learned the best is BABY POWDER.

It stops your nuts from sticking to your legs, and is completely neutral. Those moisturizers aren't neutral, and often have basic/acidic chemicals with corrosive properties. But I know first and foremost how painful and experience that is for your nuts, I used an oily moisturizer which was an added fault, it took forever to get off with water.

There are worse situations you can get yourself into though so don't feel like an idiot. I found myself in the shower once with a 5 gallon tub of gasoline scrubbing hair wax off my body from a tragic hair wax gone bad incident.
It would take while to explain but essentially the wouldn't come off my body, which included my nipples. Scrubbing nipples with an abrasive gasoline sponge apparently makes them bleed, imagine what it felt like when the gas got into the open cuts.
Can not possibly explain how painful that day was.

But you do learn valuable things you could have never known other wise.

1) Its usually a good idea to keep nair away from your nuts
2) Its an ever better idea, if you have no idea what you're doing, to stay the FVCK AWAY from hair wax. But if you really have to, DO NOT put that shit on your nipples EVER. Some cheaper waxes never come off when you put them on, I had to learn the hard way that day. BListers all over my fvcking body.

But now I'm getting off topic.

Classic thread.
5 Gold Stars you get.

[ranging1]

I honestly can't help but feel partly responsible for this.
There is just no way in hell he would have persisted through all that shit (figuratively and literally speaking lmao) if it wasn't for this thread.I really do think because he was focusing on it so much, and prob wanted to end this thread, that he did a lot of things the normal person wouldn't.

I do want to say a few things on the side.

First, you're girl is the shit, really, no jokes, you possibly put her through one of the most akward sexual experiences of a womans life, and for her to laugh at you was really cool imo (although I'm sure it angered you). But I can see a good shared of girls bursting into tears and panicking if they ever shit on their bf, which would have only made things so much worse.

I know you're gonna have the smell of her shit in your mind next time you fvck, but you owe that girl a handshake imo.

Next, about the nuts thing. And this is how I knew the story was all factual cause a lot of people would instinctly think a moisturizing cream would HELP your nuts after hair removal. I did the SAME exact thing myself and learned the best is BABY POWDER.

It stops your nuts from sticking to your legs, and is completely neutral. Those moisturizers aren't neutral, and often have basic/acidic chemicals with corrosive properties. But I know first and foremost how painful and experience that is for your nuts, I used an oily moisturizer which was an added fault, it took forever to get off with water.

There are worse situations you can get yourself into though so don't feel like an idiot. I found myself in the shower once with a 5 gallon tub of gasoline scrubbing hair wax off my body from a tragic hair wax gone bad incident.
It would take while to explain but essentially the wouldn't come off my body, which included my nipples. Scrubbing nipples with an abrasive gasoline sponge apparently makes them bleed, imagine what it felt like when the gas got into the open cuts.
Can not possibly explain how painful that day was.

But you do learn valuable things you could have never known other wise.

1) Its usually a good idea to keep nair away from your nuts
2) Its an ever better idea, if you have no idea what you're doing, to stay the FVCK AWAY from hair wax. But if you really have to, DO NOT put that shit on your nipples EVER. Some cheaper waxes never come off when you put them on, I had to learn the hard way that day. BListers all over my fvcking body.

But now I'm getting off topic.

Classic thread.
5 Gold Stars you get.

lol ahaha dw man not anyones fault but mine

but yes ur right i was persistant becuase somehwhat of the advice i got on this thread lol, so i kept going at it

lmfao yes ive made a jokes about this with my gf, you are right its amazing she responded so well

so she is embaressed still, her words were 'i feel dirty', which i just thought 'how the fuk u think i felt with shit in my lap'

OMG thank you, baby powder it is, best advice ive been given on this thread, thank you so much

LMFAO bo i did the same thing with hair waz on my nipples, when they were done they were really tender and hurting, so i put moiturizer on them

later on that day my nipples stuck to my nylon t shirt, and when i pulled them off they started bleeding

soooo glad someones gone through a similar experience, glad it wasnt just me who thought it would work

thanks for advice man

[jbm]

Perfect anal thread!

[boz]

I think this is pretty fitting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aYr6MswJb0

ahahahahahahahahha i give u credit for the affiliation.

[ReX357]

And here I thought the glory hole thread was gonna be hard to beat... You my friend just set a new standard.

[Friend]

I could go some flanks right now

[ranging1]

And here I thought the glory hole thread was gonna be hard to beat... You my friend just set a new standard.

lol i forgot about that guy, ironic that hes the same age as me though

I could go some flanks right now

[jbm]

[dezza6969]

Hasn't dsm contributed to this thread yet

[boz]

ahahah dezza im suprised he hasnt yet either.

[DSM4Life]

[dezza6969]

This isn't the steroid.com i remember

[dezza6969]

Ahahah yes it is after all ^^^

[ranging1]

lol the man with the most anal sex experience then anyone else

and all he does is post a pic

[energizer bunny]

sounds like you got you're brown badge mate!.........haha funny stuff, i thought id had a bad experience with brown but not as bad as that!!.....

[dezza6969]

Lucky he didn't post a vid

[XLCanadian]

holy ****...that is by far the worst anal experience I have evr heard of.

All I usually get is the girl's legs start shaking when I go in to far....then they don't know whether I should keep going or pull out lol....

[bladerunner9]

Lmao..

[bjpennnn]

hahahaha

[tripmachine]

;lakjsdf;lakjsdfl;aksjdfl;askdfl;aksjdf lolol! thanks for the nice read! :]

[ranging2]

lol people are still bumping this,

i think enough people have read it

[Bojangles69]

im really slow

[ranging2]

No you did not name yourself after ranging?


ranger 1 has fans!!

lol no ranging1 account sint working bo and ive created this to PM admin n ask why?

i really do not hope i dont have fans

[Bojangles69]

lol no ranging1 account sint working bo and ive created this to PM admin n ask why?

i really do not hope i dont have fans

No I edited it my bad. I didn't realize you were him haha

[ranging2]

No I edited it my bad. I didn't realize you were him haha

lol nws

[DSM4Life]

[Mr.Rose]

DSM!!!

How does that guy in the pic you posted get his ass so hairless? My girls is killing me because of the hair from the test. .

[shadey33]

Lmfao this story is gold rangin you should write a book !!!

[DSM4Life]

DSM!!!

How does that guy in the pic you posted get his ass so hairless? My girls is killing me because of the hair from the test. .

Why what is she doing with your ass?

[Twist]

okay so i fukkkkkkkked it


well shouldnt say i fuked it but everything today went wrong


ill explain everything

first we went out for the night, with couple her work friends for dinner etc, nps

then we left and went back to her house

unfortunatly when we showed up her paresnts were home, so couldnt do anything their

so we just decided to do the usual and park the car somewhere


and this is where it went baddd

i starting rubbing her up and fml she had her period

i didnt give a shit, i was keen to do the dirtiest deeds

so i told her not to worry about it,

how much blood could their be i thought?

Well fukkkkkk my life, their was alot

still didnt care, just threw a connie on and thrashed away, then pulled out the vibrating condom out for a little fun to warm her up

then the pain came

let me explain what pain

today before i saw my gf i thought id shave my nuts n stuff, unfortunaly my trimmer is fukin broken and cuts me everytime i put it on my nuts or knob,

so i tried trimming my nuts, and what ya know i cut myself 3 times

so i gave up with that

and thought id try the hair removal cream insted for a change

rubbed it on, let it sit for 5mins, all sweet

rubbed it off and what ya know nuts starting hurting little, and really sensitive

so i hoped in the shower, and washed myself and my nuts

used abit of skin wash on my nuts to help wahs off any hair removal cream left

when i hoped out the shower my nuts felt really dry, and skin was crinkly and irritating

so i thought id put moisturizer on them

rub it on and felt great, i was liek sweet

then after 10 seconds of applying the stuff to my nuts, it started

my nuts were on fire, it was liek putting them on a hot plate, i was screaming in painnnnnnnnn

so i ran to the shower to wash them off again

hoped back out shower and they still were dry as fuk, and hurting

so i looked through my bathroom cabinet and found skin wash for senstive skin

sweet i thought, rubbed it on, (checked to see if it burnt first) but it felt fine

give it 1 minute from walking out my bathroom and down my stairs and omg the painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

ran back up my stairs screaming into my shower and washed myself again


only this time the fukin cream wouldnt come off, and id forgoten to take my socks off when i ran into the shower

so their i am scrubing away in pain, with socks on in the shower

finally i get the cream off and out the shower

since my socks were wet the first step i take out the shower i slip over and land flat first on the base of my spine

fukkkkkkk it hurt

so i get changed in pain, and find my hairless nuts are sticking to my underwear, and when i pull them apart its like stickytape on my nuts,

fukin hurts

and everytime i touch my nuts with warm fingers its like pinching them, and it killed

so not only were my nuts stiking to my undies like sticky tape, but everytime i try to adjust them it hurt, and felt like they were beeing pinched hard

this lasted for the whole night, i was scared to sit down since my nuts would burn everytime i did

anyways back on track tot he story

here i am screwing my girl friend, blood dripping everywhere since shes on her period

but im just ignoring it

finally after fukin that its time to get in her ass

i lube my fingers and her ass up and start slinding in and out, was a struggle becuase my pinkie could barely fit in thet start

eventually i got 4 fingers in their

unfortunatly when i pull them out they were covered in blood, yes her clit and flowed liek river down there

so i pulled out my gym towel (my shamwow), cleaned my fingers and tried again, ignoring the blood

after i thought i had streched her enough i pulled my hand out and what do ya know their was more then just blood on their

yukkkkkkkkkkk

so gym towel again it was

wiped my fingers off

stupid me, for some reason has a habit of always smelling my fingers after ive cleaned or wiped them

so me being the idiot without realised i smelled my fingers

fmlllllllllll, that was just off putting

but yet again i was persitant,

so i bent my gf over and got her bum up in the air, stuck the fingers in and then tried my dick

unfotunataly again my girlfriends car is very small, so i couldnt angle myself to dogy fuk her in the arse

i feel over in the process and hit my head on the handbrake

ouchhhhh

but i was still persistant

so i decided to get my gf, to sit in my lap and fuk her ass that way

so i got her in my lap, and i could see blood driping down her leg (very fukin off putting again) but i continued

i could also see some shit stains running along her bumhole arrrhhhhhhhhh

but i moved on, took me neally 10 minutes to get my dick in,

far out it was fukin tight

and everytime it popped in, her bum would push me back out

and then in the process i went soft twice could i was giving up hope

but i got in their finally

was in their about 5mins, and my gf was actually liking it,

stupid me for some reason couldnt get over the thought that i had shit on my hand, kept popping into my mind while i was fukin my gfs ass


and this is where it went nasty and ruined it

my gf suggested i use the vibrating condom ring in her ass

great i thought shes liking this

so i slap the vibrating ring on

again takes me another 10minutes ot get in the bumhole

not becuase it was to tight, but i couldnt feel my dick through all rubber form the condom, huge amounts of lubricant and a vibrating cock ring that made my dik numb

finally i get it in

and she loves it

would have had 3-4 short strokes when i decided to be naughty **** and shove the whole thing in their nice and hard

so i go

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 small slides

and them wammmmm

big stroke deep in their

once i hit the end i think the vibrating condom mad emy dick tickle her to deep

and fartttttttttt

my girl friend rips this huge fart, and my dik comes flying out and she falls forward


unfortunatlty my dik didnt come out alone


my gf shit herself, and not the turd type, the mash potato type







soooooooo the scene???


My girlfriend face first ontop of the handbrake with her but facing me in the sky, with shit stains running down it


and their i was

sitting in the middle of the back seat

legs spread, blood and shit on my hands, and a spray of poop and blood running down my chest and cheeks


and a big pile of mash potato in my lap, with a a carrot stick (top forskin part of my dik) poking out the pile



and it smelt like pumkin soup









fmmmmlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



And here i am now 2 hours later on my comp after being in the shower for the last hour telling yous how it went



worst moment of my life

lol okay guys yes it was a shitty night


ive just woken up and yes i still smell

now

since yous wanted the extra little details, (since my last shitty story wasnt enough), here they are

first my gf car is a ford laser, we had to use her car coz ive lost my license for 6 months for speeding (got caught 85km over the speed limit)


now this is what made the day even worse

as i metioned i used hair removel cream ot get rid of the hair on my nuts

the stuff really isnt the easiest to apply, and i also rubbed it round my dik so i wopuld get and hair growing up the carrot off

the stuff unfortunatly isnt the best cream, its more like a liquid so it ran down my dik and onto my pube push in streaks


when i rubbed the stuff off with a towel it also rubbed those streaks off, the end result is the surface area of my pubes now look like zebra stripes, hair for black, and rashed bare skin for white



to make things worse, (while my nuts were sore and rashing) during that evening me n the gf walked through the local shoipping centre coz shes wanted to do some lingerie shopping

i eventually needed to take a piss, not to mention my nuts felt like they had sticky tape yanking on them

so i went toilet adn my nuts were soooooooo fukin sensitive, and i needed to cool them off coz they were still burning

the toilets were empty, so i thought id quicky wash my nuts with cold water in the basin,

the basin though was at thw worst height, its just at my testicle level, however since i need to lean my nuts over the basin it makes it the most awkward height

so i was trying to do a mission impossible angle, trying to lean my nuts over the basin, i kept checking if i could here anyone coming to the toilets but i thought i was sweet since no one was around

give it good 10 seconds of cooling my nuts off and i hear 'wtf are you doing?'

i look to my left and its the cleaner, he stares at me and again asks 'wtf are you doing??'

i didnt know how to react so i quickly pulled my pants up and bolted out the door

stupid me though when i bolted out remembered i left my mobile ontop the bench next to basin coz i didnt wanna get it wet

i stood their for 5minutes pondering wtf to do, but eventually i realised i have to go back in their and get it

so i try sneaking in there, (hopeless) and i check for my mobile phone but its not there

then i see the cleaning guy again, he knows what im looking for and asks me am i looking for something

i tell him what im looking for and he presents my mobile

i obviously ask for it back, and he tells me okay but first i need to tell you soemthing

i figured this guys gonna tell me off for washing my nuts in the basin

he then starts yelling about how hes sick of cleaning peoples shit out of the basin, and hwo its nto funny to take a crap in the basin

i was speechless coz this guy thinks i was trying to take a crap in the basin?????

I then stop him and explain to him what i was doing

he then looks at me when im finished and laughs

he hands the phone over and just starts laughing his face off

i quickly leave but i can hear the bastard laughing from the toilet for awhile




now

the worst part of the night

as im sure you all know, i had a pile of mash in my lap while in the back of my gfs car

while i was sitting there in half shock and about to puke coz i also had a spray of it on my face.

I also needed to get the crap out of my lap.......

I really didnt know how to go about doing this, i was loosing my erectiona and the pile of crap was caving in and starting to run down my nut sack,

i could feel it slowly falling down the middle of my legs, and ontop of my erection less knob

so i quickly yelled at my gf to open the passenger door

i dont know where the fuk she had been the whole night

her response with her face still over the handbrake 'why???'

i just yelled and told her noooowwwwwwwwww

she climbs and and sees me and starts laughing

im was baffled n didnt know what to say

so i just yelled agin for her to open the door

so she opens the door

but since its a small car the dumb bitch is now blocking the door, and i cant get out

i start yelling again for her to quickly get tot he other side

so she climbs over me and her mash

i in the meantime am having a panic attack coz i can feel the mash getting runny down ym testies and legs

the second shes over enough for me to move i quickly jump up (keeping my lap upright so it sits in my lap and doesnt fall all over the car) and out the door i go


or atleast that wouldve been nice


i completely forgot aboput that little bulge in the floor in her car

im sure most cars have it, its that bulge in the middle of the floor infront fo the middle rear passenger seat

and yet again the worst happen

i rolled and feel over

about half my body (hips and up) made it out the door

the rest didnt..................

So not only now wa si covered in shit, but the shit was on the fllor in my misses car

at this point i just didnt care anymore, i quickly scuffled to my feet and jumped out the car

grabbed my 2 litre diet soft drink from the front passenger seat and washed myself down

my gf at this point also jumped out the car and started creaming ' i feel dirty' 'how the hell to we clean that'

i decided that onyl way was with my gym towel (shamwow)

so i pick the blood/shit stained towel, climb in from my gfs side and start trying to pick up the shit


i was about to barfffff

it was soooooooooooooooooooooooo

fukkkinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

distgusting

worse was the shit fukin mashed into the carpet so i could only get the chunks and slop

th rest looked like chocolate icecream stains on the carpet

from this point i told my gf i think we should call it a night

so we drive off, witht he car smelling like shit

me being an idiot told her not to worry, 'i know what will get this smell out'

she asked what?

I replied toilet spray

i got hit a few times after that

once i got home i just jumped straight into the shower

i felt sorry for my gf becuase she lives 35minute drive from where i live

ahahahahahah wouldve been an enjoyable drive home

bump!

[kalspic]

bump approved

[stevey_6t9]

dear god i loved that story, so many memories, hall of shame winner in 2010 it was...miss you ranging1.

[wmaousley]

Nasty but humorous story, well written

[stack_it]

Always a good read