Depression

[Shinalynn]

I am more of a thinker when it comes to depression, I have battled it all my life. I was the 10yr old girl depressed. I have drawings from third grade where every one was in black at a funeral.
I have found (for me) I become depressed at the realization that I am not where I should be in life, ie school, weight, friends..
Another thing I have learned about myself, is I need sun. I lived in England and became so depressed I slept most of the day.

All my life I have been on and off meds..for the most part I can feel when it is about to come on. I do little things, like photography, or attend a kids baseball game. I go do something where I am around nature, or happy people. I dont go to bars, or drink..that only makes me worse.

Anyway that is just me

[D3m3nt3d]

I am more of a thinker when it comes to depression, I have battled it all my life. I was the 10yr old girl depressed. I have drawings from third grade where every one was in black at a funeral.
I have found (for me) I become depressed at the realization that I am not where I should be in life, ie school, weight, friends..
Another thing I have learned about myself, is I need sun. I lived in England and became so depressed I slept most of the day.

All my life I have been on and off meds..for the most part I can feel when it is about to come on. I do little things, like photography, or attend a kids baseball game. I go do something where I am around nature, or happy people. I dont go to bars, or drink..that only makes me worse.

Anyway that is just me

Well the only depression I have has come from girls. I say just my wife because its the only time I was medicated. BUT, actually before my wife I was with this girl for 4 yrs, we got engaged, then I got shafted badly in the end. Fast forward to today, and I got shafted even worse by my wife.

Now, I will say that my ex and I did try and work things out a few times, but it was more of the same. She is getting married these days, and I was told the other day if I wanted her I could have her, but that's not my style. I hate it for the guy tho, because she should not be going into a marriage with him if that's how she feels. I know this because my buddy seen text messages in his wifes phone from her about me.

I have never had bad luck when it come to women, both my ex and my wife seemed like two different types of people, and either they weren't, or I am making these girls what they are. Kinda just makes you wonder if the pattern isn't following me, and that's a little depressing in itself. How girls get sooo attached to you, and then un-attach so quickly. Now my ex I can't really speak for, she did not have the rep so to speak as my wife does. My wife I can honestly tell you that the pattern follows her. Even tho I know this, it doesn't make it any easier. Seems I know how to pick em, the quick moving girls that will never be happy with anybody.

[Shinalynn]

Well the only depression I have has come from girls. I say just my wife because its the only time I was medicated. BUT, actually before my wife I was with this girl for 4 yrs, we got engaged, then I got shafted badly in the end. Fast forward to today, and I got shafted even worse by my wife.

Now, I will say that my ex and I did try and work things out a few times, but it was more of the same. She is getting married these days, and I was told the other day if I wanted her I could have her, but that's not my style. I hate it for the guy tho, because she should not be going into a marriage with him if that's how she feels. I know this because my buddy seen text messages in his wifes phone from her about me.

I have never had bad luck when it come to women, both my ex and my wife seemed like two different types of people, and either they weren't, or I am making these girls what they are. Kinda just makes you wonder if the pattern isn't following me, and that's a little depressing in itself. How girls get sooo attached to you, and then un-attach so quickly. Now my ex I can't really speak for, she did not have the rep so to speak as my wife does. My wife I can honestly tell you that the pattern follows her. Even tho I know this, it doesn't make it any easier. Seems I know how to pick em, the quick moving girls that will never be happy with anybody.

I get that way too, when I am having a rough time with the BF or husband, I get really depressed, but that kind of ties into why I try so much, and how it makes me depressed. I get depressed bc the relationship isnt what I think or want it to be, then I try and try until I have nothing left to give, which again, leave me depressed. SO I had to find someone who cared enough about our relationship that I was not the only one putting effort into it.

[D3m3nt3d]

I get that way too, when I am having a rough time with the BF or husband, I get really depressed, but that kind of ties into why I try so much, and how it makes me depressed. I get depressed bc the relationship isnt what I think or want it to be, then I try and try until I have nothing left to give, which again, leave me depressed. SO I had to find someone who cared enough about our relationship that I was not the only one putting effort into it.

Bingo! In my marriage, I gave 200%, and all my wife was doing was staying there waiting for me to MAKE her happy, and that's impossible, but damn If I didn't exhaust every effort trying.

My ex and I, m'eh - we had the time invested, but we truely never had the relationship we needed to be getting married, I knew that. We had just been thru hell and back and stayed together. I also didn't pour everything I had into her like I did my wife, nor did I lose anything compared to what I had invested in my wife and kids. There is really no way for me not to feel low at this point.