Loz is back and he didn't bring the A Hole with him.
The following intro will be TMI but it may open a door for someone that's been where I just came from. I never believed it could happen to me so I know it can happen to anybody.
Loz aka Kool Aid Drinker aka Mr Drama aka Mr Iron Cell Chemist etc. Been a long time. Used to be a mod and vet on a bunch of boards. I also used to be a notorious asshole.
I had a bad accident a few years back and had to go through physical rehab and pain management which led to drug problem. The pain killers got the best of me and I had a bad drug problem for a few years. Lost an 80k a year job, a Mercedes C320 and my first house. Also a lot of muscle and self esteem.
I googled my SN and seen a lot of the articles I wrote 5-6+ years ago and they are still being used today. Made me feel kind of proud and I remembered life before pain killers. I was lost for a while. I been around the boards since 02. I like to believe I contributed a lot and also know I was in a lot of drama.
I have been humbled by my experience with a pain killer addiction and ain't the same dick head I was when I was here before. I'm in my mid 30s, putting my life back together and know the magic that happens when you transform your body. The transformation of mind and body go together.
I think my mind is 80% there. My body is about 20% though. I'm a newb all over again. I made a lot of friends and enemies in my years and hope I can come back with a fresh start and maybe reunite with some of my old E-friends. I may hold the record on Steroid.com for the most banned/unbanned statuses. I hope to stay around a while this time and not say or do anything stupid.
Friday I am filling up the fridge with some body transformation foods and joining a gym 15 minutes from my apartment and starting all over. I listen to Eminem Not Afraid 10 times a day and in the beginning he says something to the extent, it's been a hell of a ride but I guess I had to go there to get here.
I lost a lot financially, spiritually, and self respectfully. Some people liked me, I think many respected my knowledge but hated my personality at times. I just want to be clear I have been humbled over the last 4 years and look forward to putting my life, and body back together.
Gonna research the latest workout techniques and sticking with the diet I was preaching 7-8 years ago which seems to be mainstream now. Looking to do a high protein, high fat, low carb approach with some carb cycling.
About the accident. I was having trouble sleeping. I made it in to management in my profession and was working 14 hours a day and lived to work basically. One morning on I-95 on my everyday 1 hour and 15 minute drive I made everyday each way I fell asleep behind the wheel for probably 30-40 seconds and woke up to see a SUV braking to get off an off ramp and slammed in to the back of it. Fortunately I didn't hurt the person in front of me but I was pretty banged up. Dr started me on 5mg percocets and I eventually became a pill popping junkie. I'm happy to say I am close to 60 days clean. No suboxone for those familiar with that stuff. I did a cold turkey hellish withdrawal at home detox. I felt I wouldn't learn the lesson taking an easy way out. If you never been through opiate withdrawal I can't put it in to words but it is one hell of a deterrent to start abusing opiates again.
Not going to short cut anything and jump on the steroids to make up for lost time. Gonna do it natural.
I'm sure the old timers have good and bad memories of me and I promise I ain't here for that BS I was in constantly before. I hope to share my knowledge and learn some new stuff. To those that remember and I have left a sour taste in their mouth, I am not that guy anymore. I'm a little more mature and lot more humbled and I am sorry for the drama I brought or participated in.
Time to come off the bench and get back in the game.
I hope to turn some enemies in to friends and some lost friends in to friends again.
I've got a long road to get back to where I was.
Also I know the pain killer epidemic is wide spread and a lot of people live double lives and want out. My inbox is here for you if you need some personal experience of what it was like for me and how bad WD actually is and what to expect etc. If there is a hell I believe it is opiate withdrawal. It is like physical pain, combined with depression and panic on steroids but it is survivable.
And this is the last I will publicly speak about my opiate addiction on here. I came here to get my body back together. I missed a lot of you guys and hope you are still here. The early 2000s was a wild time on the internet Body Building boards. If these E-Walls could talk they would have some wild stories. lol. The UG labs, the board battles, the calling people out, etc. I want nothing to do with the drama but if anyone wants to reminisce or newbs got any questions about the old days hit me up. I think I would benefit remembering who I was, the good and the bad.
OK, enough with the re-intro. Time to put in work. Let's get it in.
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