Appeasing the wife

[Armykid93]

For all the new people on the board i'm 19 years old, almost 20. And I am basically newly married (just over a year) my wife and I a while ago, before I left for basic and ait, tried to have a child.
She became pregnant but sadly miscarried. This was months ago btw. She has now Been hounding me for us to start trying again. Id like to wait till i'm closer to 21 before I start trying again.
Anyways the point of this is I gave in to her getting a kitten to hopefully relieve some baby fever. Its worked nicely
It got me thinking though, how do some of you guys get your significant other to stop hounding you about certain issues?

[Armykid93]

Here's the little devil. She loves screwing with my ta50

[gixxerboy1]

19 and married is young. To have kids is crazy especially with you getting deployed. You guys havent even had a chance to enjoy life ot adulthood. You will miss out on so much having kids at your age. You have nothing to gain but tons to loose

[Armykid93]

19 and married is young. To have kids is crazy especially with you getting deployed. You guys havent even had a chance to enjoy life ot adulthood. You will miss out on so much having kids at your age. You have nothing to gain but tons to loose

Lol i'm with you brotha, kinda. I wanna have kids younger than most but that's just me. My parents had me when they were 22. now i'm gone and they aren't that old

[MickeyKnox]

For all the new people on the board i'm 19 years old, almost 20. And I am basically newly married (just over a year) my wife and I a while ago, before I left for basic and ait, tried to have a child.
She became pregnant but sadly miscarried. This was months ago btw. She has now Been hounding me for us to start trying again. Id like to wait till i'm closer to 21 before I start trying again.
Anyways the point of this is I gave in to her getting a kitten to hopefully relieve some baby fever. Its worked nicely
It got me thinking though, how do some of you guys get your significant other to stop hounding you about certain issues?

MasterCard.

[Lunk1]

19 and married is young. To have kids is crazy especially with you getting deployed. You guys havent even had a chance to enjoy life ot adulthood. You will miss out on so much having kids at your age. You have nothing to gain but tons to loose

You couldn't be more wrong on this one! I was married a week after turning 19, had our daughter by 21 and have 0 regret! As a matter of fact my wife and I love the fact that we have already lived through things that most married cpl's our age are just now experiencing.

Believe me, I missed out on very little...I simply have had a partner in crime the whole time

The other benifit is that I will be 40 and an empty nester, healthy and mature. In a position where I can still enjoy life while others my age are changing diapers and playing soccer dad! Meanwhile I am able to take vacations and do whatever I want with more financial and mental security than I ever had in my 20's.

What did I miss out on? Banging whores and wasted time on dumb relationships. Knock yourself out...it's all meaningless in the end!

[--->>405<<---]

19 is young. but also ur married so its the next thing. a lot depends on u and ur wife.. something we can never know like u do. there are tons of changes still to take place between u both. i hope u both change together well!

as far as the wife bugging me, the longer ur with her the better shell know u and the more shell know what she can and cannot bug u about to get!

[--->>405<<---]

good post lunk!

[Armykid93]

MasterCard.

Haha! Perfect but I don't use credit cards

[Armykid93]

You couldn't be more wrong on this one! I was married a week after turning 19, had our daughter by 21 and have 0 regret! As a matter of fact my wife and I love the fact that we have already lived through things that most married cpl's our age are just now experiencing.

Believe me, I missed out on very little...I simply have had a partner in crime the whole time

The other benifit is that I will be 40 and an empty nester, healthy and mature. In a position where I can still enjoy life while others my age are changing diapers and playing soccer dad! Meanwhile I am able to take vacations and do whatever I want with more financial and mental security than I ever had in my 20's.

What did I miss out on? Banging whores and wasted time on dumb relationships. Knock yourself out...it's all meaningless in the end!

Fvck. Just made me feel pretty damn smart haha!

[OdinsOtherSon]

You couldn't be more wrong on this one! I was married a week after turning 19, had our daughter by 21 and have 0 regret! As a matter of fact my wife and I love the fact that we have already lived through things that most married cpl's our age are just now experiencing.

Believe me, I missed out on very little...I simply have had a partner in crime the whole time

The other benifit is that I will be 40 and an empty nester, healthy and mature. In a position where I can still enjoy life while others my age are changing diapers and playing soccer dad! Meanwhile I am able to take vacations and do whatever I want with more financial and mental security than I ever had in my 20's.

What did I miss out on? Banging whores and wasted time on dumb relationships. Knock yourself out...it's all meaningless in the end!

Bang!! I'll have my last one OUT of the house in ~ 18 months, just shy of my 40th b-day. Lots of life out there waiting to be enjoyed. When I was 19-20 yrs old, 40 seemed a LONG way off and kinda old. Well, here it is staring me in the face and I'm GTG. In the end, its all what you make of it. Good luck in whichever decision you choose.

[gixxerboy1]

You couldn't be more wrong on this one! I was married a week after turning 19, had our daughter by 21 and have 0 regret! As a matter of fact my wife and I love the fact that we have already lived through things that most married cpl's our age are just now experiencing.

Believe me, I missed out on very little...I simply have had a partner in crime the whole time

The other benifit is that I will be 40 and an empty nester, healthy and mature. In a position where I can still enjoy life while others my age are changing diapers and playing soccer dad! Meanwhile I am able to take vacations and do whatever I want with more financial and mental security than I ever had in my 20's.

What did I miss out on? Banging whores and wasted time on dumb relationships. Knock yourself out...it's all meaningless in the end!

See i had $$ in my 20's so i was able to do all the traveling and vacations. So its if u would like to do it at 20 or 40.

[Armykid93]

See i had $$ in my 20's so i was able to do all the traveling and vacations. So its if u would like to do it at 20 or 40.

I don't have the money right now lol so looks like 40 is my only option. What did you do in your 20s to get the money to travel?

[gixxerboy1]

I don't have the money right now lol so looks like 40 is my only option. What did you do in your 20s to get the money to travel?

If you dont have the money to travel then how are u affording a kid. They cost more.

I had a good job. I didnt either at 19. No offense ur still a kid. I have neices and nephews older then u. They both been to islands on vacations with friends. Nephew rentef a summer house at the beach this year.
Id rathet to be at the beach with friends or my girl than a kid. Or at a nice resort in 5 years then disney.

[Lunk1]

Gixx..thats a 1 sided opinion from someone who has not experienced being a parent (correct)?

Believe me...No amount of vacations I take, strippers I could bang, drugs I could use, booze I could drink or anything else I would have ever done in my 20's will ever give me the pleasure that being a father gives me. With all of those other things the joy is gone as soon as the act is over and often times followed by regret.

Being a father leaves you with no regret and constant, never ending joy and fullfillment!

As far as affording kids...if I would have used the excuse that I am not having kids until I can afford it...I probably never would have had my daughter. You never notice the cost of kids...I have never added up how much she has cost me...only how much she has given me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gixxerboy1]

Your correct about me not having kids. And im not debating the happiness they may bring. But that happiness will not change if the op waits 5 years.
Its not like if he waits and travels he cant ever have the kids. But you cant ever get back ur 20's. We borh also know how hard marriage can be. They havent even experienced much of that.

Imo at 19 you have no idea what u want from life yet or had enough experience to know yourself who u are.
Hell they are still in the honey moon stages of marriage and dont have all that figured out. And he is deploying for the first time. Nobody know how the wife will handke him gone and then give her a new born.
Like i said not saying nevet to have kids but dont rush into it either

[Armykid93]

Your correct about me not having kids. And im not debating the happiness they may bring. But that happiness will not change if the op waits 5 years.
Its not like if he waits and travels he cant ever have the kids. But you cant ever get back ur 20's. We borh also know how hard marriage can be. They havent even experienced much of that.

Imo at 19 you have no idea what u want from life yet or had enough experience to know yourself who u are.
Hell they are still in the honey moon stages of marriage and dont have all that figured out. And he is deploying for the first time. Nobody know how the wife will handke him gone and then give her a new born.
Like i said not saying nevet to have kids but dont rush into it either

Thanks for the advice from both of you guys. I understand where your coming from gixx and it makes sense. Your not bashing marriage or kids.

[Lunk1]

Your correct about me not having kids. And im not debating the happiness they may bring. But that happiness will not change if the op waits 5 years.
Its not like if he waits and travels he cant ever have the kids. But you cant ever get back ur 20's. We borh also know how hard marriage can be. They havent even experienced much of that.

Imo at 19 you have no idea what u want from life yet or had enough experience to know yourself who u are.
Hell they are still in the honey moon stages of marriage and dont have all that figured out. And he is deploying for the first time. Nobody know how the wife will handke him gone and then give her a new born.
Like i said not saying nevet to have kids but dont rush into it either

My wife suffered the burden of my military deployments and the full 4 year term. Being married and having kids early made us stronger than most nay cpl I know! We lived through tuff times...together!

Your right in the sense that it is young...I'm not saying it's easy, cause it sure as hell wasn't! I just know that it fortunatly worked out great for me and while I don't condone it for everyone, I also am not against it.

Hell..I have friends in their late 20's and early 30's that are miserable because they can't have a REAL relationship (their own fault of course).

I know that I look d=forward to this next stage of life being more financialy secure and confident in myself and my marriage while having the freedom to enjoy life. Someday (later than sooner I hope) I will enjoy being ayounger healthy grandparent that can be active with grandchildren instead of sitting in the rocking chair all day.

There is no BEST answer for this debate...it's a matter of making a decision and making the most of it, being happy either way!

[gixxerboy1]

I do see your points to lunk. Ur correct there is no best answer. But i would say you and ur wife probably beat the odds

[Lunk1]

I do see your points to lunk. Ur correct there is no best answer. But i would say you and ur wife probably beat the odds

So far anyhow lol...I agree with this. The odds are against marraige at any age these days and added stresses like $ and military do not make it easier. I should look and see what the stats are on divorce vs military divorcethese days. They are both too damn high. Nobody wants to work at shyt anymore...society is full of quiters. maybe it's the damn video games that allow you to just shut it off when it gets tuff lol.

[Armykid93]

So far anyhow lol...I agree with this. The odds are against marraige at any age these days and added stresses like $ and military do not make it easier. I should look and see what the stats are on divorce vs military divorcethese days. They are both too damn high. Nobody wants to work at shyt anymore...society is full of quiters. maybe it's the damn video games that allow you to just shut it off when it gets tuff lol.

Lol as I play black ops.....
Not big into video games but if the house work is done, i've already worked out and the wife is
working it helps beat the boredom.

[Armykid93]

Bang!! I'll have my last one OUT of the house in ~ 18 months, just shy of my 40th b-day. Lots of life out there waiting to be enjoyed. When I was 19-20 yrs old, 40 seemed a LONG way off and kinda old. Well, here it is staring me in the face and I'm GTG. In the end, its all what you make of it. Good luck in whichever decision you choose.

That's awesome. Good for you brotha

[lovbyts]

Haha! Perfect but I don't use credit cards

Smart man. Keep it that way and you will be ahead of 95% of the people out there. Do thinks right you can even easily pay for your house with cash in a short amount of time if you budget right.

Good call on the kitten and having kids is different for everyone. It all depends on your personal preferences and long term plans. One thing to remember that the best laid out plans change. I'm 50 and my oldest is 19 from the 1st wife. The step daughter is 7. Wife wants one more since she is only 32. She doesn't like/want dogs or cats so no easy out that way. lol

[Armykid93]

Smart man. Keep it that way and you will be ahead of 95% of the people out there. Do thinks right you can even easily pay for your house with cash in a short amount of time if you budget right.

Good call on the kitten and having kids is different for everyone. It all depends on your personal preferences and long term plans. One thing to remember that the best laid out plans change. I'm 50 and my oldest is 19 from the 1st wife. The step daughter is 7. Wife wants one more since she is only 32. She doesn't like/want dogs or cats so no easy out that way. lol

Lol i'm very sorry. Sounds like your stuck.
This kitten won't leave me alone, its licking my arm as I type.
But yeah on the note of finances I have that under control. I'm in very little debt, basically just the car, bought my wife a nice wedding ring but that will be paid off in less than 4 months. I listen to Dave Ramsey allot. His methods have worked well for me financially.

[lovbyts]

Lol i'm very sorry. Sounds like your stuck.
This kitten won't leave me alone, its licking my arm as I type.
But yeah on the note of finances I have that under control. I'm in very little debt, basically just the car, bought my wife a nice wedding ring but that will be paid off in less than 4 months. I listen to Dave Ramsey allot. His methods have worked well for me financially.

Good man, I like him also. He is right and it's best not to get caught up in all the FICA BS. I need to start doing more of that (budget) now that I am out of debt all except for the house.

[Shol'va]

You know at 19 you still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to sex. It just so happens I do a lot of volunteer work in that field.

[DSM4Life]

The BF and I are still trying to get pregnant. If at first you don't succeed.....

[>Good Luck<]

Hey op! Great topic and I know where you stand. I'm 26 and have 3 young kids. The oldest will be 6 in a few weeks and life has been anything but easy since we started our family. If you have close relatives who would give you guys a break here and there and family who spends time together, starting a family young isn't bad at all. Having said that, it's also important to remember that children are much more of a commitment than a kitten... There's no turning back once you start a family. In my situation, having children early was the most rewarding and lovable experience possible and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love the challenge and am so very proud of their accomplishment which are also my accomplishments. It has matured me beyond any other life choices and has taught me to be the man I am today. I think I may have experienced a little more had I had waited, but that's not a regret. Nothing is more rewarding than a family... No vacation, nor party/club/bar, or any material possession I could have attained without kids.

If I could start from scratch I wouldn't change sh!t!!!

This is a very individual unique decision to make in life and if you're not ready, you shouldn't rush. But if you are ready, there is nothing to stop you.

[DB1982]

Me n my wife had our 1st son at 25 I thought that was too young. But 20 is real young. And only being Married for a year is moving kinda fast. I say wait a couple years and enjoy your independence and most important enjoy being married. I wouldn't trade my 2 boys for the world but kids also complicate things. Kids instantly change everything. The best part for me is they are now my partners in crime. I'm 30 yr old kid and between me Blake n Raiden my wife stands no chance .

[Armykid93]

You know at 19 you still have a lot of learning to do when it comes to sex. It just so happens I do a lot of volunteer work in that field.

Lol you and dsm always seem to provide the perfect comic relief

[Armykid93]

Hey op! Great topic and I know where you stand. I'm 26 and have 3 young kids. The oldest will be 6 in a few weeks and life has been anything but easy since we started our family. If you have close relatives who would give you guys a break here and there and family who spends time together, starting a family young isn't bad at all. Having said that, it's also important to remember that children are much more of a commitment than a kitten... There's no turning back once you start a family. In my situation, having children early was the most rewarding and lovable experience possible and I wouldn't change it for the world. I love the challenge and am so very proud of their accomplishment which are also my accomplishments. It has matured me beyond any other life choices and has taught me to be the man I am today. I think I may have experienced a little more had I had waited, but that's not a regret. Nothing is more rewarding than a family... No vacation, nor party/club/bar, or any material possession I could have attained without kids.

If I could start from scratch I wouldn't change sh!t!!!

This is a very individual unique decision to make in life and if you're not ready, you shouldn't rush. But if you are ready, there is nothing to stop you.

Thanks for the advice. It is appreciated, I've always wanted to start a family young but again i'm with you guys. Wanna make sure I know that I'll be a very good father first and I want to get some debt out of the way to. Squaring things away in my life is important to me so kids don't inherit my problems.

[Armykid93]

Good man, I like him also. He is right and it's best not to get caught up in all the FICA BS. I need to start doing more of that (budget) now that I am out of debt all except for the house.

I'm hoping to be out of debt pretty quick here. Gonna buy myself a personal vehicle after the deployment so my wife and I don't have to juggle having one car, and pay that off as quickly as possible.

[S&S_ShovelHead]

Me n my wife had our 1st son at 25 I thought that was too young. But 20 is real young. And only being Married for a year is moving kinda fast. I say wait a couple years and enjoy your independence and most important enjoy being married. I wouldn't trade my 2 boys for the world but kids also complicate things. Kids instantly change everything. The best part for me is they are now my partners in crime. I'm 30 yr old kid and between me Blake n Raiden my wife stands no chance .

Awesome name.

[DB1982]

Awesome name.

Thanks My wife n I agreed if we had boys Me and solely me would pick the names and vise- versa if it were girls.

We both decided on Blake my first son.
But when when the 2nd came around I took control
I told Kim my wife we're building a Bad ass and he will have a bad ass name.
So Raiden it is. Guys love the name not so much the women.

[Armykid93]

Thanks My wife n I agreed if we had boys Me and solely me would pick the names and vise- versa if it were girls.

We both decided on Blake my first son.
But when when the 2nd came around I took control
I told Kim my wife we're building a Bad ass and he will have a bad ass name.
So Raiden it is. Guys love the name not so much the women.

Lol damn man raiden is sick as fvck

[SnaX]

19 and married is young. To have kids is crazy especially with you getting deployed. You guys havent even had a chance to enjoy life ot adulthood. You will miss out on so much having kids at your age. You have nothing to gain but tons to loose

I second this 100%

[lovbyts]

Thanks My wife n I agreed if we had boys Me and solely me would pick the names and vise- versa if it were girls.

We both decided on Blake my first son.
But when when the 2nd came around I took control
I told Kim my wife we're building a Bad ass and he will have a bad ass name.
So Raiden it is. Guys love the name not so much the women.

OK I need to know. I have NEVER know a Kim that was not crazy in some way. I'm not sure WTF I was thinking because I had decided LONG time ago I would never hook up with another Kim when not long after my 2nd marriage I realized my wife Karlie had legally changed her birth name. It was Kimberly (Kim). Big red flag. lol

[red_hulk]

You named your son after a mortal kombat character?

[wh1spa]

You named your son after a mortal kombat character?

FVCK yes lmao! Legend.

[red_hulk]

FVCK yes lmao! Legend.

Haha not denying that, I was just wondering where else you'd get the name from. More than likely it isn't a family name hahaha