dating advice what happened??

[cherrydrpepper]

I have to admit I have a newfound respect for Lunk and Gixx off what they said here. I will relate a short story.

A couple years back I was in a dance club that was packed. There was a DJ mixing beats and just enough room to mingle and dance without it being too full or loud. I came with two juice heads. The one dude was just solid, big and intimidating and good record with the ladies. The other dude was very lean and vascular and good face with a long list of conquests as well. We get to the club and the three of us go to the secondary side bar and play it cool scoping the scenery. I start scouting right away for possible targets. I see a couple with a friend to my left playing pool and scratch that off. I keep looking. Lots of people dancing. Some too young look just out of high school. I spot a table of 4 women to my right. I keep watching them. They are laughing and having a good time and occasionally will check out a guy in the crowd. I turn to my buddies "hey lets go talk to those girls they definitely came here to have fun if not meet somebody".

The two juice heads look at me like I'm crazy. "No bro thats not how it works.. we have to wait for the look". I'm like "wtf are you talking about". "No bro just watch we will stand here and eventually one will come up to us just by us playing it cool". So things keep going and the night gets later. We do a little mingling here and there but nothing solid worth talking about. At the end of the night I conclude that having big tan muscles doesn't make you immune to being a total puss with the ladies.

I do think there are women that you have to dick around with and play games with and maybe the OP's "10" is one of them. He will have to decide the right move. There definitely are some snobby b-s that you have to do that dumb crap with. In the long run though, I mean over the course of your entire life, just in my opinion, you will get a lot more out of life if you take the direct approach and pull your big boy balls out when you talk to women. I have met some really good looking guys who perceived themselves as a player but never lived up to their potential because they think they are going to stand on the wall and make occasional eye contact with a girl to pull her in like magic or something.

[dan991]

This is where most of you fail...a long term SUCCESSFUL marriage is not being OUT of the game! It's PERFECTING the game. married or dating...it never changes the rules!

Uhm... you're 39 years old... this chick is like 21. Women at that age these days focus on:

1. Befriending every bouncer at every club so they can get their girlfriends in and not have to wait in line.
2. Being bar whores.
3. Playing games because they need to feel like every dude wants them all the time.
4. Hooking up with a dude that is "better" in every way over what her girlfriends have.

The chances of this chick ever becoming his wife are pretty slim. She has a long road of learning the hard way before she decides she wants the whole white picket fence thing.

[losieloos]

Dont text or call her back she might not want anyone to bother her right now at the moment, let her contact you if she is really interested in you.

[gixxerboy1]

Uhm... you're 39 years old... this chick is like 21. Women at that age these days focus on:

1. Befriending every bouncer at every club so they can get their girlfriends in and not have to wait in line.
2. Being bar whores.
3. Playing games because they need to feel like every dude wants them all the time.
4. Hooking up with a dude that is "better" in every way over what her girlfriends have.

The chances of this chick ever becoming his wife are pretty slim. She has a long road of learning the hard way before she decides she wants the whole white picket fence thing.

Your 35.
Lunk is right, im surrounded by 20 something year old girls every day. Hear all their bf and dating stories

[ghettoboyd]

This is where most of you fail...a long term SUCCESSFUL marriage is not being OUT of the game! It's PERFECTING the game. married or dating...it never changes the rules!

right on bro about perfecting the game...brilliant...

[Lunk1]

Dan...you know the difference between 39 and 35..you were a freshman when I was a senior...HUGE difference!

You know the difference between a 39 y.o women and a 21 y.o. women...18 years. In the end everyone is searching for the same thing and human behavior doesnt change just because MTV stopped playing music videos!

Being married and dating a women are the same thing...requires confidence, patience and respect!

[Bigshotvictoria]

Dan...you know the difference between 39 and 35..you were a freshman when I was a senior...HUGE difference!

You know the difference between a 39 y.o women and a 21 y.o. women...18 years. In the end everyone is searching for the same thing and human behavior doesnt change just because MTV stopped playing music videos!

Being married and dating a women are the same thing...requires confidence, patience and respect!

And this is why we should listen to our elders.

[dan991]

Your 35.
Lunk is right, im surrounded by 20 something year old girls every day. Hear all their bf and dating stories

And where do you work gixx? A club?

[dan991]

Dan...you know the difference between 39 and 35..you were a freshman when I was a senior...HUGE difference!

You know the difference between a 39 y.o women and a 21 y.o. women...18 years. In the end everyone is searching for the same thing and human behavior doesnt change just because MTV stopped playing music videos!

Being married and dating a women are the same thing...requires confidence, patience and respect!

I"m not say you and I are that far apart; but our generation is/was A LOT different than the current generation of 21 year olds. I live in a condo surrounded by bars. Every time I look outside, or go downstairs, I just shake my head with the crap I see. I pray that my daughter doesn't end up being like these girls.

You being married to a girl whom loves you, respects you, and makes you the #1 priority in her life... is A LOT different than dating a 21 year old girl who's #1 agenda for the day is finding the right outfit to wear to the club. A few of my local friends (newer friends) are 22 years old. They live in the same building as me and at 22 years old- they have A LOT going for them. These guys are professional athletes and at 22 years old already have more money than most of us on the board combined. I've gone out with them a few times and what I saw was scary. It wasn't the guys- it was the girls. Again- I pray my daughter doesn't end up being like these girls.... praying hard.

[capetown]

Dont call her. Its gonna backfire. Boom!!!! I have also been out of the game a long time but you never forget the rules. Lol.

[Lunk1]

s

I"m not say you and I are that far apart; but our generation is/was A LOT different than the current generation of 21 year olds. I live in a condo surrounded by bars. Every time I look outside, or go downstairs, I just shake my head with the crap I see. I pray that my daughter doesn't end up being like these girls.

You being married to a girl whom loves you, respects you, and makes you the #1 priority in her life... is A LOT different than dating a 21 year old girl who's #1 agenda for the day is finding the right outfit to wear to the club. A few of my local friends (newer friends) are 22 years old. They live in the same building as me and at 22 years old- they have A LOT going for them. These guys are professional athletes and at 22 years old already have more money than most of us on the board combined. I've gone out with them a few times and what I saw was scary. It wasn't the guys- it was the girls. Again- I pray my daughter doesn't end up being like these girls.... praying hard.

Hmmmm, have you stopped to consider what our parents thought of us children during the 80's ( sex, drugs and rock&roll ) lol. I wonder what parents thought of children growing up in the 60's ( peace and love).

Every generation is worst than the last (when judged by the last)!

[Lunk1]

Dont call her. Its gonna backfire. Boom!!!! I have also been out of the game a long time but you never forget the rules. Lol.

Cape...you know I love ya buddy but...this is silly! If he doesnt call her or talk to her then she may just as easily take the stance that he isn't interested and move on. Right now he has nothing...what does someone with nothing stand to lose???? NOTHING!

If he get's shot down...no harm, no foul!

[dan991]

s

Hmmmm, have you stopped to consider what our parents thought of us children during the 80's ( sex, drugs and rock&roll ) lol. I wonder what parents thought of children growing up in the 60's ( peace and love).

Every generation is worst than the last (when judged by the last)!

Yea, and not only is it scary wondering what's gonna happen next, but watching it unfold makes you wanna cringe. A lot of the major changes I've seen in dating (since I'm new to the market again) are strictly how people are brought up as well as how much times have changed. A perfect example is the first date I had after my divorce (and I broke up with my girlfriend that my wife hated). I took this girl out, it was a friend of a friend hooked us up date. Went to dinner- simple date. Met her at the restaurant, had a 4 hour dinner/drinks... the entire date went completely awesome... till the end (when the check came). The waiter brings the check and I grab it (as I believe should always occur)... this chick flips her shit. She refuses to let me pay the entire bill and wants to pay her half. It turns literally into an argument and what she says to me sets me back. She says "I don't want you to expect anything for buying dinner". I about fell out of my chair. What in the world is going on these days that you can't buy dinner without someone assuming that you expect them to put out (for a steak) is beyond me. I paid the bill- she left pissed off. No good bye, no call you later, nothing. 3 days later she text me apologizing.... I never responded. She was only 3 years younger than me.

[dan991]

Lunk... I'll PM you a quick little story from 2 months ago.

[Lunk1]

Yea, and not only is it scary wondering what's gonna happen next, but watching it unfold makes you wanna cringe. A lot of the major changes I've seen in dating (since I'm new to the market again) are strictly how people are brought up as well as how much times have changed. A perfect example is the first date I had after my divorce (and I broke up with my girlfriend that my wife hated). I took this girl out, it was a friend of a friend hooked us up date. Went to dinner- simple date. Met her at the restaurant, had a 4 hour dinner/drinks... the entire date went completely awesome... till the end (when the check came). The waiter brings the check and I grab it (as I believe should always occur)... this chick flips her shit. She refuses to let me pay the entire bill and wants to pay her half. It turns literally into an argument and what she says to me sets me back. She says "I don't want you to expect anything for buying dinner". I about fell out of my chair. What in the world is going on these days that you can't buy dinner without someone assuming that you expect them to put out (for a steak) is beyond me. I paid the bill- she left pissed off. No good bye, no call you later, nothing. 3 days later she text me apologizing.... I never responded. She was only 3 years younger than me.

If she would have gotten the Lobster then it woulda been on. The problems are stemming from the fact your not dating 18 and 19 y.o. girls. Your dating women who have most likely had some bad experiences and they feel a strong need to put up their gaurd and protect themselves (call it baggage if you like).

Perhaps if you reflected, maybe the situation could have been handled diff. You could have agreed to allow her to pay her half (also remember todays women take great pride in being more independent)...I would have even offered to let her pay for mine LMAO!

[Lunk1]

Lunk... I'll PM you a quick little story from 2 months ago.

PM if you like but keep in mind...I charge by the hour lol!

[cherrydrpepper]

I think in our lifetime a website will come out .. lets say and im just making this up but it will be called SafeandSecureLove dot com or something I have no idea. Anyway everyone on the website will have to prove they are std free before they can date it will be a regular monthly thing. The way that fb has become a part of so many peoples lives (dominating in some cases), this site will become a normal social phenom. It will become taboo to date someone whos not on SafeLove. Obviously the logistics of this working I personally have not worked out but Im telling you this is coming if not in our lifetime then in the next. Eventually.. well, let me put it this way. Look at 100 years ago when people were riding around in horse drawn carriages and the internal combustion engine was being created. It might take a 100 years or 500 years for this to take place or even longer but we will see something like this stamp out stds some day I feel. People will groom their kids from young teens that you dont date anyone not on SafeLove. To be honest right now might be the best time to launch something like this because the fb and internet are so popular its gotten absolutely rediculous compared to 15 or 20 years ago.

[gixxerboy1]

And where do you work gixx? A club?

Yes.

[dan991]

If she would have gotten the Lobster then it woulda been on. The problems are stemming from the fact your not dating 18 and 19 y.o. girls. Your dating women who have most likely had some bad experiences and they feel a strong need to put up their gaurd and protect themselves (call it baggage if you like).

Perhaps if you reflected, maybe the situation could have been handled diff. You could have agreed to allow her to pay her half (also remember todays women take great pride in being more independent)...I would have even offered to let her pay for mine LMAO!

The bill itself doesn't matter. Honestly, had she addressed it differently; I probably would have let her pay her half if it made her feel more comfortable. That's not what happened. She flipped her shit and acted as if I literally said "now i'm gonna pay this bill so we need to go to your place and you need to get naked". She got all aggressive and started arguing with me as if I literally said that to her and the only thing I did was grab the damn check and throw my card in it. She offered to pay her half and I said "its okay I go it" and then she flipped out.

[dan991]

Yes.

EXACTLY... you are surrounded by 21 year old girls. That's their top agenda these days... get into the club. How many of these girls come up to you and hug you, text you before they come, etc? I would love to be in your shoes... you're "the man" to a bunch of 21 year old girls, lol.

[cherrydrpepper]

Cant stop laughing at Dans av

[dan991]

Cant stop laughing at Dans av

LOL... not sure if you know who that is; but its that little kid that was on Oprah. He was 1 years old and had the muscle mass of an 8 year old.

[cherrydrpepper]

LOL... not sure if you know who that is; but its that little kid that was on Oprah. He was 1 years old and had the muscle mass of an 8 year old.

Shit dude I thought that was photoshop. Awesome. That kid is going to have the biggest ego. I hope his dad turns him into a Tim Tebow type person, powerful but humble.

[gixxerboy1]

EXACTLY... you are surrounded by 21 year old girls. That's their top agenda these days... get into the club. How many of these girls come up to you and hug you, text you before they come, etc? I would love to be in your shoes... you're "the man" to a bunch of 21 year old girls, lol.

oh i dont get text from them to get in. Its a strip bar

[Lunk1]

oh i dont get text from them to get in. Its a strip bar

and I bet a tucked and stuffed $1 bill that they constantly bytch about not being able to find a decent guy and how guys all act like diks!

[cherrydrpepper]

This is Gixx's ringtone if work is calling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTqlWhwTILw

[gixxerboy1]

and I bet a tucked and stuffed $1 bill that they constantly bytch about not being able to find a decent guy and how guys all act like diks!

biggest thing is they meet a guy and they get along and the guy doesnt care that they dance. Then 2 months in wants them to quit and hates them for doing it.

[Lunk1]

biggest thing is they meet a guy and they get along and the guy doesnt care that they dance. Then 2 months in wants them to quit and hates them for doing it.

I'll be the first to admitt...I'm not sure I could be open to dating a dancer for that reason!

[gixxerboy1]

I'll be the first to admitt...I'm not sure I could be open to dating a dancer for that reason!

I've dated alot of them. All depends on the girl and honestly the bar they are at. Some places are cleaner then others. Also depending on the state some are nude, some topless or even just in a bikini

[AnabolicDoc]

A lot of different opinions and a lot of good advice. I have no clue which is right for u. What I do know is that reading your posts (the OP's) has made me so jealous.

I love my wife, she's beautiful and I wouldn't have my life any other way. But what I would give to be out there meeting girls and not married for a couple of nights . . . forget about it. Whatever happens with this girl, enjoy the chase and enjoy these days bc soon you'll turn the corner and be married and the chance of ever being with a 20 yr old girl again is non-existent.

Sounds like you have a good chance with this girl. If it doesn't go your way, no big deal. You're gonna have hundreds of these stories to reflect on one day.

Good luck and please keep us posted.

Last thing, I'm only in my 30's but if I could go back and give my 20 year old self some advice, I would say sleep with every girl you can get your hands on and don't obsess over any one girl bc the day will come when you're limited to one vagina for the rest of your life.

[AnabolicDoc]

I think in our lifetime a website will come out .. lets say and im just making this up but it will be called SafeandSecureLove dot com or something I have no idea. Anyway everyone on the website will have to prove they are std free before they can date it will be a regular monthly thing. The way that fb has become a part of so many peoples lives (dominating in some cases), this site will become a normal social phenom. It will become taboo to date someone whos not on SafeLove. Obviously the logistics of this working I personally have not worked out but Im telling you this is coming if not in our lifetime then in the next. Eventually.. well, let me put it this way. Look at 100 years ago when people were riding around in horse drawn carriages and the internal combustion engine was being created. It might take a 100 years or 500 years for this to take place or even longer but we will see something like this stamp out stds some day I feel. People will groom their kids from young teens that you dont date anyone not on SafeLove. To be honest right now might be the best time to launch something like this because the fb and internet are so popular its gotten absolutely rediculous compared to 15 or 20 years ago.

Btw that's really a pretty good idea. I'll throw in a few bucks to get in on the ground floor of that.

[spiketannin]

My take:
She's young, she's a 10, guys fall all over her, she gets hit on nonstop and when she shows a guy interest they cling, don't be that guy.

She's used to always having the power and making people do what she wants. You need to flip this and gain control. She thrives on attention and when it comes easy she gets bored.

Make her work for it, act uninterested, make it seem like what you have going is more important than her. Play to your strengths and show you're that alpha.

Be confident and act like a dick at times, but also make her feel special.
You've already text her with no reply. Don't try to contact her again for a few days or even next "college night"

this right here is exactly what i was thinking from the start which is why i havent been jocking her or anything. not sure why people think that i am on here, well ok i kinda am but she definately dont no that.. i admit i sent one text too early probaley and that was the hey beautiful tx but i only sent that too show her that i was interested because originally she was the one who initiated everything, she gave me her number, she was the one who always tx first etc... im thinking she will call or tx by next monday if not im just thinking f it. i was just shocked like wtf up with these females these days.

[RaginCajun]

Suck me beautiful!!!!!!!!

[dan991]

oh i dont get text from them to get in. Its a strip bar

Oh, you're the guy I give a $50 to; to look the other way in the VIP lounge.

[spiketannin]

Also, I think OP may be a little confused with the difference between "high class" and "high maintenance". Thats just my .02

she is definately high class by what i no, her prestigous school and future job, what her parents do etc.. im not sure if shes high maintenence dont really seem like it though.

[spiketannin]

+1 I think he should fvck her friend just out of spite. I would....

thinking about it haha srs

[dan991]

I've dated alot of them. All depends on the girl and honestly the bar they are at. Some places are cleaner then others. Also depending on the state some are nude, some topless or even just in a bikini

Oh.. so you like women who have emotional issues?

[gixxerboy1]

Oh.. so you like women who have emotional issues?

Some of them do just like every other girls. Some of them are the best women i know and have been there for me in the worst time of my life and i would trust with anything.

[Lunk1]

Where they there with a shoulder to cry on...no, a little lower...lower...lower...

[gixxerboy1]

Where they there with a shoulder to cry on...no, a little lower...lower...lower...

i dont kiss and tell