what the hell did I do

[PJS19]

I've posted a few times in the past 5 months since my struggle began. The reason I turned here, was when it started I was taking a pro hormone supplement called Arime Stage 5 pct. It has a small dose of epistane in it (10mg), and an estrogen inhibitor (androst 3, 5 dien 7, 17 dione). Seemed like a pretty harmless product, I took it last summer with 0 side effects.

I started taking it in early april, 5 months ago, and stopped after 10 days of use when my life turned upside down. I lost my emotions and spiraled into what now has been diagnosed as a "major depressive episode". When I stopped taking it I didnt do any sort of PCT as it was such a short amount of time and low dose. Blood work 10 days after stopping showed my T at 317 and LH and FSH at 1. More blood work a month after that, T was the same, LH and FSH bumped up to 2.

Doctors kept telling me to keep waiting, and most said they don't think my T was low because of what I took, they think it was underlying depression. Anyways a few weeks after that blood test, T was in the 600s and LH at 2 still. Was prescribed clomid to bump up LH and it shot my T way up to 1500s, which eventually settled down after a month off of it.

Now my T is about 500, LH 3, e2 24. Not horrible numbers. I've felt the same way the whole 5 months whether T was 300, 600, 1500 and 500.

Thyroid, adrenals, blood counts and everything else are all good. My endo thinks I had underlying depression, which was causing my T to be low.


My question is, does anyone have any idea what the hell I did to myself. Do you think it was just a coincidence that I started feeling this way while taking a prohormone product, although short used and mild? If I can I'd like to stop worrying about all the hormone stuff and stop blaming myself, but if there still is an issue there I obviously want to address it. I just think I shouldnt feel this way with numbers like that now.

Thanks for any insight, sorry to keep posting about this, Im in a tough place right now and am looking for answers.

[fit2bOld]

Sounds like a tough place to be stuck.
Maybe time to seek a professional for the depression, I suggest someone that will help you through this without medication as a first step. (psychologist) This in no way means your broken but maybe looking for the underlying assumptions that may be
a cause to how your feeling.
Best of luck.

[marcus300]

This is why the young shouldn't mess around with hormones no matter how mush you think they are harmless. I think your seeking the help in the right place stick with your doctor and don't take anything what will unbalance your hormones again until they have matured and settled down.

[crazy mike]

Sounds like a tough place to be stuck.
Maybe time to seek a professional for the depression, I suggest someone that will help you through this without medication as a first step. (psychologist) This in no way means your broken but maybe looking for the underlying assumptions that may be
a cause to how your feeling.
Best of luck.

I agree with the older guy above, Ha!
Anyway I'm Bi-Polar and am very familiar with depression in my past. It can effect everything you do. A person can get depressed for on thing and when coming out, get depressed that they were depressed ands it starts again in a circle. You can be depressed from a Mental disorder and Chemical disorder without knowing. It isn't simple.

This was initially brought about long ago. Medicine can bring people up and out. This can be temporary or life time, but the help of MD's and medicines we can live a happy and successful life.

Get some medical advice. ...crazy mike

Marcus is right on also . ...cm

[PJS19]

Marcus, unfortunetely I did this all ass backwards. Since this has happened and Ive been on this site and doing my own research I am 100x more informed about how everything works than I was when I used prohormones. Should have done that first. I used prohormones a few times, always legal, thinking hey I can get them legally for $40 must not be a big deal. To me it was the same as buying protein or something, I didnt know the damage even that stuff can cause. I am obviously very against any sort of prohormone use at a young age now, especially when you arent educated. Took horrible advice from guys behind a counter who think using an AI is all you need for a PCT. Good example of what can go wrong, even if you arent shooting 1000mg of T a week.

I hope after some time and I stop taking any sort of drug and things settle in, I will regain my emotions. Life really sucks without them thats for sure.

Thanks

[PJS19]

Thanks crazymike for the input. I am seeing a therapist but I told him I want to stay off of any ADs for atleast 1 year, as I think the type of depression I have they arent useful. I say that because alot of them actually blunt emotions which is the opposite of what I want. Hopefully tiime and acceptance can sort this thing out.

[marcus300]

Marcus, unfortunetely I did this all ass backwards. Since this has happened and Ive been on this site and doing my own research I am 100x more informed about how everything works than I was when I used prohormones. Should have done that first. I used prohormones a few times, always legal, thinking hey I can get them legally for $40 must not be a big deal. To me it was the same as buying protein or something, I didnt know the damage even that stuff can cause. I am obviously very against any sort of prohormone use at a young age now, especially when you arent educated. Took horrible advice from guys behind a counter who think using an AI is all you need for a PCT. Good example of what can go wrong, even if you arent shooting 1000mg of T a week.

I hope after some time and I stop taking any sort of drug and things settle in, I will regain my emotions. Life really sucks without them thats for sure.

Thanks

I am sure once things settle down and stabilize you will be back to normal and all these symptoms what appeared when you took the PH will disappear