Been real busy for a few days and just came upon this very interesting and rather enlightening thread. I've got to say that some of you guys are really funny. I mean that in a good way. Kel, your one (or two) liners always make me smile.
Kel, your post about dopamine's effect at the beginning of TRT was a revelation to me. Thank you for that. And Low T's follow up was extremely important. I always wondered where the intensity of my libido had gone after the first few months of TRT. Now I understand that my body is approaching balance - as all of ours must.
And Buzz, I think you'll see that after awhile, being a sex object is no fun at all. I know because I've been there. We may THINK we're reaping the benefits, but we're deluding ourselves. Like "Wow, look at all the FBs I have!" But the kickback is a deep feeling of loneliness and a bitter resignation that we'll never be known deeply by anyone. For a long time I wasn't even aware I had this feeling. I just thought it was the natural state of affairs. Conquest sure is a quick rush but it never deeply satisfies. Whether you call it a friend with benefits or an FB, a man and a woman who use each other this way - no matter how much screaming, and bed rattling passion - can never respect each other. I came to see this too. Just stop and ask yourself if it's true. For me the result was the same; either I came to really care for the woman I was with or I wasn't with her long.
Behind the smiles and sweet conversation after this kind of liaison, how many men and women have looked at each other with respect and genuine care? How often do we really think of the woman we have been with as a thinking, feeling individual with hopes and dreams - like our own? If we don't, I think we lose a little bit of our humanity. I always wondered why I would sometimes we walk around with this deep, haunting shame. A kind of numbness. We become our own worst enemies. I'd never want to go back to that life.
I've seen that the alternative is KNOWING a woman - in every sense. Start with her mind and the body will follow. I'm still learning and finding my way but I've seen the true true excitement this makes for. Like new adventures into the unknown; freshness and newness every day and great passion. And this with a woman I have been with for over thirty years.
You all know me well enough to understand that when I write in this way I'm not singling out any one individual. Merely, a poster has presented some ideas on which I thought it might be useful to comment and to offer my insight, which has come from my own lessons and experience. I sincerely hope it can be of benefit.
Reply With Quote