Everytime you posted a cycle everyone of us told you not to do it, stay clear of steroids because they are not for you and you don't understand anything your doing but you completely ignored us now you want to listen to our advice because you have fuked yourself up.
It can take a long time to get some balance back in your life once you been messing around with hormones,
Some of the stuff you ask is bizarre and I am being honest here I think you have mental health issues maybe go to the doctor and tell him what you been doing and ask him some of the questions you want answering.