How do you talk to your Wife about her weight?

[zempey]

I want her to lose the weight, but that is not the main issue, it is choosing something so drastic and dangerous. I have used AAS 3-4 times over a 30 year period since I first touched a weight, I agree they have health risks, and now since joining this forum I am better equipped to use them in a safer manner. But I still have to make proper choices while using them, still have to work hard in the gym, I actually work harder and make better choices when on cycle, like not drinking due to elevated risks involved. One of my main problems is the lack of effort in any other sense, just because you are having the surgery is not a free pass to pile shit into your mouth with total disregard for your health. Now if there was the thought that using the surgery as an aid, but still exercising and eating healthy to get the absolute most out of it, I would be more on board with the decision. There is a very poor track record with trying to take the easy way out and it just causing more problems and not working. I am generally concerned for her health, mentally and physically, and will do all I can to support her through this if that is what she wants. I do thank you all for your input and points of view, it is helping me come to terms with some of my feelings on this. She must have done some soul searching once the anger subsided because she just sent me a text saying she renewed he gym membership. Sometimes hearing what you don't want to hear shakes you up enough to admit it's time for a change. I was very careful how I brought this subject up to her and was very conscious of her feelings and how I worded things as to hurt her the least amount while getting my point across.

[Honkey_Kong]

I want her to lose the weight, but that is not the main issue, it is choosing something so drastic and dangerous. I have used AAS 3-4 times over a 30 year period since I first touched a weight, I agree they have health risks, and now since joining this forum I am better equipped to use them in a safer manner. But I still have to make proper choices while using them, still have to work hard in the gym, I actually work harder and make better choices when on cycle, like not drinking due to elevated risks involved. One of my main problems is the lack of effort in any other sense, just because you are having the surgery is not a free pass to pile shit into your mouth with total disregard for your health. Now if there was the thought that using the surgery as an aid, but still exercising and eating healthy to get the absolute most out of it, I would be more on board with the decision. There is a very poor track record with trying to take the easy way out and it just causing more problems and not working. I am generally concerned for her health, mentally and physically, and will do all I can to support her through this if that is what she wants. I do thank you all for your input and points of view, it is helping me come to terms with some of my feelings on this. She must have done some soul searching once the anger subsided because she just sent me a text saying she renewed he gym membership. Sometimes hearing what you don't want to hear shakes you up enough to admit it's time for a change. I was very careful how I brought this subject up to her and was very conscious of her feelings and how I worded things as to hurt her the least amount while getting my point across.

Well, I hope your wife makes changes to her lifestyle. I've actually seen a family member defeat the gastric bypass surgery and in a matter of a couple years gained back everything the surgery initially caused her to lose. She would eat until it hurt every time and she would as many times a day as a bodybuilder would, except there was no physical exercise at all in her day. Eventually her stomach stretch and now it's like she never had it done in the first place.

In her case, she has a mental addiction to the food and she's too lazy to do anything physical. And I understand how you feel about that it sucks to watch somebody you care about, self-destruct like that. My family member, doesn't want help and I'm not in any position to force her to find help.

But in your case, you can and should suggest it and press it. Now I don't mean sending her to nutritionists, surgeons and gyms. Her weight problem is a response to a/an issue(s) different than the food. Eating is just the coping mechanism. And if other people would like to chime in here with their opinion, but I think she should get some sort of therapy for the real causes of her problems in addition to help to treat the physical position she's in.

[GirlyGymRat]

Well, I hope your wife makes changes to her lifestyle. I've actually seen a family member defeat the gastric bypass surgery and in a matter of a couple years gained back everything the surgery initially caused her to lose. She would eat until it hurt every time and she would as many times a day as a bodybuilder would, except there was no physical exercise at all in her day. Eventually her stomach stretch and now it's like she never had it done in the first place. In her case, she has a mental addiction to the food and she's too lazy to do anything physical. And I understand how you feel about that it sucks to watch somebody you care about, self-destruct like that. My family member, doesn't want help and I'm not in any position to force her to find help. But in your case, you can and should suggest it and press it. Now I don't mean sending her to nutritionists, surgeons and gyms. Her weight problem is a response to a/an issue(s) different than the food. Eating is just the coping mechanism. And if other people would like to chime in here with their opinion, but I think she should get some sort of therapy for the real causes of her problems in addition to help to treat the physical position she's in.

I don't know that there is always an underlying reason. I only say this bc I stopped by a store on way home tonight. I was simply shocked at the number of cashiers, mid twenties, terribly overweight. I didn't see one skinny cashier out of 8. Very out of shape. Do they all have underlying issues? Or do they just prefer the taste of carbs and fat?

Gastric bypass is not a sure thing. I too have seen ppl just gain it all back. The surgery can also be very dangerous. Esp when physically making the stomach smaller. Very dangerous.

Why doesn't she see a weight loss doctor? I am seeing a new doctor and there's a lot of alternatives. Strong appetite suppressants, medicines that remove carb cravings along with diet and exercise programs... Lots of alternatives especially in larger cities. At least she is being receptive on the gym membership. It's a very delicate conversation and just keep letting her know how much you love her