Depression while on steroids

[hollywoodundead2016]

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[numbere]

just to be honest everyday I have suicidal thoughts at some point or another. I don't have the means to do it but I do think about it

This isn't cool and definitely not normal for someone your age.

You should seek some therapeutic help ASAP.

[hollywoodundead2016]

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[Mr.BB]

I'm 26 years old. All of my counts were normal, high normal but normal. my doses aren't extreme, its just being on so long has finally worn on me. I cry about 1 hour everyday. my feeling is that no one cares about me but I know my family does and that doesn't seem to matter anymore.

Self pity will not help you. You need to be pro-active for more ppl to care about you, if you shutdown yourself ppl will forget about you.

Like in everything in life you need to work to get results. Lift your head and go meet your friends... if you think you dont have friends, make new ones... and im not talking about online friends... start conversations on the gym, ask girls out, ask friends for movies/beer/hangout, whatever.

[hollywoodundead2016]

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[numbere]

and expect them to keep things like my steroid use confidential? I'm not so sure about that

Keeping your steroid use confidential shouldn't be a major hang up for you at this point.

Your physical and mental heath should be you're number one priority.

[hollywoodundead2016]

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[numbere]

I know. I'm not in that dire of straits right now but if I keep going at this rate I will be. how the hell do the pro powerlifters handle 8-10 grams of gear/week is what I want to know lol

I don't know buddy I think you are at that point but are in denial.

That's precisely one of the reasons why not everyone can be a pro.

[Proximal]

I know. I'm not in that dire of straits right now but if I keep going at this rate I will be. how the hell do the pro powerlifters handle 8-10 grams of gear/week is what I want to know lol

I totally agree with Numbere here, this sounds a lot like denial. You've mentioned suicidal thoughts & potential issues with the law - that should be enough to tell you.

HDL/LDL levels at your age are not a concern, they should be addressed, but aren't something to lose sleep over. Girls are likely picking up on this negative "vibe" you're giving off during this period, again, nothing to lose sleep over. Boards I'm assuming can be retaken, would you be the first or last that will have to do so?

You have to get out of this tail-spin now. You said you had family, which is more than some have to help - sounds like a good place to start, at least from my point of view.