Cowboys Accountability Log

[Cowboymike]

Day 338

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH



Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 576
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, Chocolate
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
8oz coconut milk
8oz organic Aloe Vera juice
1 scoop terra kai, organic juice berry


Meal 2
Calories: 400
2 cup cottage cheese, darigold 2percent brand


Meal 3
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood


Meal 4
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood


Meal 5
Calories: 560
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter



Easy easy day. Thunder storms popping off all day... I haven’t been in a thunder storm in over 5 years. They are not common out here. I couldn’t help but throw on my light clothes and water shoes and go for my walk in the drenching rain... it was a tad cold, but luckily I run hot anyway. I faired quite well.

Not too much to report today.



Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for the smell that follows a downpour from the sky’s... mix in the crack of thunder and the lightning show to follow... perfection... I’m grateful to have the ability to walk. To freely move about without assistance.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.25gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,376
Protein: 288
Carbs: 132
Fiber: 44
Sugar: 57
Fat: 78


Workout:

5 mile walk in the thunder storm

[Cowboymike]

Day 339

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH


Meals Repeated

Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 576
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, Chocolate
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
8oz coconut milk
8oz organic Aloe Vera juice
1 scoop terra kai, organic juice berry


Meal 2
Calories: 400
2 cup cottage cheese, darigold 2percent brand


Meal 3
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood

Meal 4
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood


Meal 5
Calories: 560
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter


Just a chill day. Woke up a bit late. Finally slept in past 5am. 8am today! So weird! Only woke up like once that remember last night. Finally the body getting the sleep I so desperately need.

Made an appointment with the sleep doc. Since I’m all maxed out on my medical out of pocket, I’m going to go haywire getting everything done and in motion. Take full advantage of it this year. But it’ll be nice to get all three of my sleep disorders in check if possible. At least the surgeries are out of the way. The rest is dialing myself in.

Got my chores done today, got a 5.5 hour defensive driving course done for work, got a little meal prep and back up liquid meals Incase my advancement of diet is to premature... finished deadwood and game of thrones... quite a day!

Ready to rock n roll for the week...




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for sleep filled and restful nights... hoping there’ll be more in the future.




10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.25 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,376
Protein: 288
Carbs: 132
Fiber: 44
Sugar: 57
Fat: 78


Workout:

Nothing today

[Family_guy]

Day 339

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH


Meals Repeated

Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 576
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, Chocolate
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
8oz coconut milk
8oz organic Aloe Vera juice
1 scoop terra kai, organic juice berry


Meal 2
Calories: 400
2 cup cottage cheese, darigold 2percent brand


Meal 3
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood

Meal 4
Calories: 420
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood


Meal 5
Calories: 560
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
16oz coconut milk
1 scoop organic juice berry
1 serving amazing grass super green superfood
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter


Just a chill day. Woke up a bit late. Finally slept in past 5am. 8am today! So weird! Only woke up like once that remember last night. Finally the body getting the sleep I so desperately need.

Made an appointment with the sleep doc. Since I’m all maxed out on my medical out of pocket, I’m going to go haywire getting everything done and in motion. Take full advantage of it this year. But it’ll be nice to get all three of my sleep disorders in check if possible. At least the surgeries are out of the way. The rest is dialing myself in.

Got my chores done today, got a 5.5 hour defensive driving course done for work, got a little meal prep and back up liquid meals Incase my advancement of diet is to premature... finished deadwood and game of thrones... quite a day!

Ready to rock n roll for the week...




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for sleep filled and restful nights... hoping there’ll be more in the future.




10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.25 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,376
Protein: 288
Carbs: 132
Fiber: 44
Sugar: 57
Fat: 78


Workout:

Nothing today

What sleep disorders you got going on cowboy?

[Cowboymike]

What sleep disorders you got going on cowboy?

I’m diagnosed with:

Restless legs syndrome

Sleep apnea (central only now. Had 9 surgeries to cure the obstructive apnea)

REM sleep behavior disorder

Periodic Limb Movement disorder

[Cowboymike]

Day 340

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
125mg TestC
150mg EQ
50mg NPP


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 506
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, Chocolate
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
8oz coconut milk
8oz organic Aloe Vera juice
1 scoop terra kai, organic juice berry


Meal 2
Calories: 400
2 cup cottage cheese, darigold


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 400
2 choc chip cookie dough protein bar


Meal 5
Calories: 360
1 cup 5 cheese tortellini
1/2 cup marinara, olive oil-basil-garlic


Meal 6
Calories: 450
3 farm fresh eggs
1 turkey sausage patty chopped up
1/3 cup cheese



Crushed the day. Feeling it in my belly though that I over did it a little. Pushed a little further than I should have... now I know my limitations though. Ill use that as my guide. I dont want to hurt myself. I do not want to go through a redo... but I did feel very accomplished today.

I hit the gym and I behaved. I stuck to doctors orders of cardio only. Brother RussianBots words echoing in my head that soon enough Ill be able to smash those weights again and make up for lost time... I eyeballed the weight racks and told them in my head how much Ill be destroying them soon enough... got through the cardio without much issue. My stamina is finally returning. It felt good to see my veins come alive and plump up for me. It felt good to feel the heat radiating off of my skin. The sweat drenching my whole shirt... I felt a little pick me up on the way out of the doors...

Today Im riding high.



Daily gratitude item:
Super grateful to have such a good relationship with my sprout. It truly warms my heart to hear her thoughts and opinions about life and how she works through lifes problems that come her way. She has such an intelligent and logical approach to everything. I think I learn more from her than she could possibly ever from any advice I even try to give... most of the time I just listen. Her ideas are far better than mine lol.. but Im grateful we are on such good terms. That I can have the opportunity to just be dad.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,496
Protein: 249
Carbs: 118
Fiber: 77
Sugar: 41
Fat: 102


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

[Family_guy]

I’m diagnosed with:

Restless legs syndrome

Sleep apnea (central only now. Had 9 surgeries to cure the obstructive apnea)

REM sleep behavior disorder

Periodic Limb Movement disorder

Looked up that rem sleep disorder! That sounds crazy!

What are your side effects from all those issues?

I just got diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia (I don’t really get into rem sleep) so I’m tired af all the time and I can fall asleep doing anything, driving, reading, sitting down...that sucks!

[Family_guy]

Day 340

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
125mg TestC
150mg EQ
50mg NPP


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 506
Shake
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, Chocolate
4tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
8oz coconut milk
8oz organic Aloe Vera juice
1 scoop terra kai, organic juice berry


Meal 2
Calories: 400
2 cup cottage cheese, darigold


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 400
2 choc chip cookie dough protein bar


Meal 5
Calories: 360
1 cup 5 cheese tortellini
1/2 cup marinara, olive oil-basil-garlic


Meal 6
Calories: 450
3 farm fresh eggs
1 turkey sausage patty chopped up
1/3 cup cheese



Crushed the day. Feeling it in my belly though that I over did it a little. Pushed a little further than I should have... now I know my limitations though. Ill use that as my guide. I dont want to hurt myself. I do not want to go through a redo... but I did feel very accomplished today.

I hit the gym and I behaved. I stuck to doctors orders of cardio only. Brother RussianBots words echoing in my head that soon enough Ill be able to smash those weights again and make up for lost time... I eyeballed the weight racks and told them in my head how much Ill be destroying them soon enough... got through the cardio without much issue. My stamina is finally returning. It felt good to see my veins come alive and plump up for me. It felt good to feel the heat radiating off of my skin. The sweat drenching my whole shirt... I felt a little pick me up on the way out of the doors...

Today Im riding high.



Daily gratitude item:
Super grateful to have such a good relationship with my sprout. It truly warms my heart to hear her thoughts and opinions about life and how she works through lifes problems that come her way. She has such an intelligent and logical approach to everything. I think I learn more from her than she could possibly ever from any advice I even try to give... most of the time I just listen. Her ideas are far better than mine lol.. but Im grateful we are on such good terms. That I can have the opportunity to just be dad.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,496
Protein: 249
Carbs: 118
Fiber: 77
Sugar: 41
Fat: 102


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

Hows that solid food sitting?

[Cowboymike]

Looked up that rem sleep disorder! That sounds crazy!

What are your side effects from all those issues?

I just got diagnosed with idiopathic hypersomnia (I don’t really get into rem sleep) so I’m tired af all the time and I can fall asleep doing anything, driving, reading, sitting down...that sucks!

It’s the same for me. It’s hard to stay awake when my body goes into idle mode... driving, sitting etc... I’ll pretty much nod off easily and have to take extra precautions... it makes losing weight more difficult and healing is suppose to be slower... however, I’ve remedied this issue with my hobbies ;0) staying on top of my blood work is vital. As things can get sideways (even without gear)... since the body isn’t resetting like it’s suppose to be doing... blood sugar, thyroid, cortisol... gotta keep eye on those.. it really screws with my adhd as well...

Gotta be careful though, they try to put our types on shit that’ll mess with the brain more than it will help us...

I just want to go to sleep and hit all 4 levels in a regular pattern like we are suppose to do... according to the docs they can accomplish this... we will see..

If we screw around to long though we can screw our internal clock. Then we will be really screwed.

Sorry I don’t speak in the technical terms and very broad lol... I’m still learning as I go and it’s been so long since I have tried to get help with this, I’ve forgotten most of the verbiage and processes... they use to give me meth pills for the day and tranquilizers at night... I felt like a sociopathic zombie.. so I quit everything... but here we are 7 years later... it’s getting harder and harder to manage.

[Cowboymike]

Hows that solid food sitting?

As long as I chew longer, it’s gtg... if I try to wolf it down... I pay a price indeed.. not a fun one

[Cowboymike]

Day 341

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 480
1/4cup organic Steel cut oats
4tbsp Pbfit powdered peanut butter
2 tsp Monkfruit
1 Choc brownie protein bar


Meal 2
Calories: 390
2 cups Cambell’s chicken noodle soup
3.5oz shredded chicken breast can


Meal 3
Calories: 780
2 choc brownie protein bar
2 cup cottage cheese


Meal 4
Calories: 400
2 choc chip cookie dough protein bar


Meal 5
Calories: 720
5 farm fresh eggs
1/3 cup shredded Mexican cheese
1 cup fire roasted vegetables
4tbsp sour cream
5tsp cholula hot sauce


Another ass kicking day. This time mentally. Which is good since my arm muscles are wrecked from yesterday.. was in the office all day whipping some ass though and getting shit done. Got some positive feedback from the head boss and a client request to have me be the one to work on his upcoming project... since he’s one of our more important clients, it’s definitely a compliment.

I was falling asleep all day it felt like though. Definitely utilizing standing up and talking brisk walks around the office to wake up. So tired though.

Got home jumped into gym clothes and went and did the elliptical again. I bumped the pace up and the resistance level.. time to start building back up. Felt good. No pains. No discomfort. No stretching of the poor little sliced up abs. Just letting the heal.

Successfully eating anything noodle. Oats, eggs, vegetables and chicken/beef chunks... I can honestly say that I’m on board with my regular diet... I’m definitely learning to chew more though. Which slows down my tendency to want to inhale my food...

Only thing left to test if I’m ready for full diet is bread... but I’m already knowing I’m gtg. Just gotta chew longer is all. But I’ll wait. I’ll keep progressing as I am. It’s a good solid pace that’s advanced from the expected pace laid out by the docs...

Good day today indeed. I’m feeling good inside n out.




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for a little recognition in my hard work. Definitely felt good to hear out loud.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.50 gallons + hydration packet


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,496
Protein: 278
Carbs: 120
Fiber: 87
Sugar: 37
Fat: 114


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

[Family_guy]

It’s the same for me. It’s hard to stay awake when my body goes into idle mode... driving, sitting etc... I’ll pretty much nod off easily and have to take extra precautions... it makes losing weight more difficult and healing is suppose to be slower... however, I’ve remedied this issue with my hobbies ;0) staying on top of my blood work is vital. As things can get sideways (even without gear)... since the body isn’t resetting like it’s suppose to be doing... blood sugar, thyroid, cortisol... gotta keep eye on those.. it really screws with my adhd as well...

Gotta be careful though, they try to put our types on shit that’ll mess with the brain more than it will help us...

I just want to go to sleep and hit all 4 levels in a regular pattern like we are suppose to do... according to the docs they can accomplish this... we will see..

If we screw around to long though we can screw our internal clock. Then we will be really screwed.

Sorry I don’t speak in the technical terms and very broad lol... I’m still learning as I go and it’s been so long since I have tried to get help with this, I’ve forgotten most of the verbiage and processes... they use to give me meth pills for the day and tranquilizers at night... I felt like a sociopathic zombie.. so I quit everything... but here we are 7 years later... it’s getting harder and harder to manage.

They just started me on modafinil which “wakes” you up but isn’t a stimulant in any way. Very unique and hard to explain. It has helped but not enough sometimes.

How do they plan to accomplish you getting better sleep?

[Cowboymike]

They just started me on modafinil which “wakes” you up but isn’t a stimulant in any way. Very unique and hard to explain. It has helped but not enough sometimes.

How do they plan to accomplish you getting better sleep?

Very good question... I’ll find out about the quote, unquote ~plan~ at the upcoming consultation... I already know they’ll want another sleep study... cause the past shit ton won’t be good enough as they will be outdated I’m sure.

I’m very curious tbh... I don’t want them to tweek me out and zombify me again... I’ll just stop taking the meds if they do... I’m hoping things have advanced over all these years and they’ve come up with better treatment options.... I surely need it.

[Cowboymike]

Day 342

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
50mg NPP


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 890
Two egg sandwich w/sausage as bun:
2 slice pepper jack
3 farm fresh eggs over hard
4 turkey sausage patty

Meal 2
Calories: 390
2 cups Cambell’s chicken noodle soup
3.5oz shredded chicken breast can


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 400
2 choc chip cookie dough protein bar


Meal 5
Calories: 580
3 farm fresh eggs
1/3 cup shredded Mexican cheese
1 cup fire roasted vegetables
4tbsp sour cream
5tsp cholula hot sauce


Meal 6
Calories: 450
3 farm fresh eggs
1 turkey sausage patty
1/3 shredded Mexican cheese



Damn good day today. My spirits are running high. I feel absolutely fantastic. I can eat food with some volume to it and not throw up. My stamina is starting to come back on the cardio. Despite a little muscle fatigue when doing meticulous work with smaller hand tools in tight places... despite the higher calories I seem to be thinning out anyway. The scales dropping, which scares the shit out of me.. but I guess so long as the body fat is shrinking, I’ll take the muscle loss to pack it back on in my monster bulk I’m planning for after healing...

Tomorrow I have licensing testing all morning and then meetings with fire marshals and ending it with easy inspections... then that’ll be the end of the week at work for me since its doctors appointments all day and lots of travel between offices... I think I’ll catch some time out on the river front and walk around, window shop, find some sushi to try out if I can hang with it... then head home... but enjoy some me time, hopefully celebrating good news from the appointments...




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for beautiful sunny days and good music. Had a killer day at work covering coastal inspection jobs. I do miss some physical work... but I’m not complaining for these stress free jobs with lots of windshield time to contemplate... so many young bucks out today. Their little antlers all fuzzy and nubby... mating season must’ve been quite successful from what I could see with the amount of babies all over the place.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,090
Protein: 266
Carbs: 62
Fiber: 62
Sugar: 14
Fat: 180


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

[Family_guy]

Day 342

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
50mg NPP


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 890
Two egg sandwich w/sausage as bun:
2 slice pepper jack
3 farm fresh eggs over hard
4 turkey sausage patty

Meal 2
Calories: 390
2 cups Cambell’s chicken noodle soup
3.5oz shredded chicken breast can


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 400
2 choc chip cookie dough protein bar


Meal 5
Calories: 580
3 farm fresh eggs
1/3 cup shredded Mexican cheese
1 cup fire roasted vegetables
4tbsp sour cream
5tsp cholula hot sauce


Meal 6
Calories: 450
3 farm fresh eggs
1 turkey sausage patty
1/3 shredded Mexican cheese



Damn good day today. My spirits are running high. I feel absolutely fantastic. I can eat food with some volume to it and not throw up. My stamina is starting to come back on the cardio. Despite a little muscle fatigue when doing meticulous work with smaller hand tools in tight places... despite the higher calories I seem to be thinning out anyway. The scales dropping, which scares the shit out of me.. but I guess so long as the body fat is shrinking, I’ll take the muscle loss to pack it back on in my monster bulk I’m planning for after healing...

Tomorrow I have licensing testing all morning and then meetings with fire marshals and ending it with easy inspections... then that’ll be the end of the week at work for me since its doctors appointments all day and lots of travel between offices... I think I’ll catch some time out on the river front and walk around, window shop, find some sushi to try out if I can hang with it... then head home... but enjoy some me time, hopefully celebrating good news from the appointments...




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for beautiful sunny days and good music. Had a killer day at work covering coastal inspection jobs. I do miss some physical work... but I’m not complaining for these stress free jobs with lots of windshield time to contemplate... so many young bucks out today. Their little antlers all fuzzy and nubby... mating season must’ve been quite successful from what I could see with the amount of babies all over the place.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,090
Protein: 266
Carbs: 62
Fiber: 62
Sugar: 14
Fat: 180


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

What do you do for work cowboy?

[Cowboymike]

What do you do for work cowboy?

Fire sprinkler pipe fitter

[Cowboymike]

Day 343

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 - 5-HTP Plus
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH



Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 2
Calories: 363
3.5oz Kirkland shredded chicken breast
1 tbsp avocado oil mayo
2 tbsp sweet relish
1/3 cup sliced mushrooms


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar



Meal 4
Calories: 471
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
8 fl oz aloe Vera juice
1 cup coconut milk
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter



Meal 5
Calories: 470
4 farm fresh eggs
1oz feta cheese
12tbsp Trader Joe’s mango salsa



Meal 6
Calories: 369
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow onion
1/3 cup sliced mushrooms
4oz shaved beef steak
1 slice provolone cheese
2tbsp Worcestershire sauce


Well I failed my test today. I experienced a bit of ego bruising and pride I wasn’t aware I was holding... immediately my head went into the blame game and then immediately I stopped... where did this defect come from? I had no pride or ego issues as it took me years to get rid of them! They’re back! Ugh... time to get to work
I have to wait 7 days to retake the test. I’ll be ready as my failures were surrounding fire pumps. I just don’t work with them so I knew nothing.. I will memorize the entire code book by the next test ;0) Time to nerd out

Kicked ass at work and kept my head in the game. Met with fire Marshall and passed inspections and then dominated a 2 day property/building inspection in just 6 hours... clients happy as I just saved them 1200 bucks... I’m afraid if I keep that up I may start pissing off the executives lol..

Hit the gym for my cardio. Way out of breath today... it was a huge struggle for some reason... got through it though and realizing how sore my body is starting to get... a great reminder to slowly integrate myself back into the game. No jumping in in the deep end. I don’t want to risk injury...

Tomorrow no work. Post ops with both docs. I may slide into the fire Marshall’s though to spend time taking the other 3 licensing exams. I’m more versed in those categories anyway... I’ll see how I’m doing on time after the ear doc

Hope everyone’s having a fabulous week!


Daily gratitude item:
Grateful to be humbled yet again, without too much internal fight or dialog. That I can see the lesson and recognize the defect of character and start working on correcting it. All without beating myself up over it and creating a negative spiral to spin out in.


10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.50 gallons + hydration packet


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,433
Protein: 259
Carbs: 94
Fiber: 75
Sugar: 35
Fat: 101


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

[Proximal]

If you could bottle & sell what was in that last daily gratitude item, just let me know Cowboy. I’ll buy a lifetime’s supply.

God it’s a pleasure reading your posts & getting motivated because of them.

Keep at it buddy.

[Cowboymike]

If you could bottle & sell what was in that last daily gratitude item, just let me know Cowboy. I’ll buy a lifetime’s supply.

God it’s a pleasure reading your posts & getting motivated because of them.

Keep at it buddy.

It’s definitely nice to not have to dwell in my shit for too long before I can wiggle out from under it... some days it’s not so easy though... but I try to remember that saying

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

So basically I’m in full control how long I allow myself to suffer through the shit mentally... the pain, we all must experience. How long do we have to suffer, is up to us...

I am my own worst critic. I would never allow anyone in my life to treat me the shitty way I can treat myself sometimes... that’s a fact

But with lots of practice, I can seem to not suffer as long these days. Just put it behind me and move forward. The whole living for the now type thing. Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow’s not here yet, today’s all I got. I don’t want to spend it rolling around in my own shit feeling crappy lol

I appreciate your words my brother!

[Cowboymike]

Day 344

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
125mg TestC
150mg EQ
50mg NPP


Repeated menu out of pure laziness and ease of eating all the left overs. Had a lot of traveling in car today to do anyway. Easier to pack the food and go to keep me out of drive throughs and or gas station warming ovens lol

Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 2
Calories: 363
3.5oz Kirkland shredded chicken breast
1 tbsp avocado oil mayo
2 tbsp sweet relish
1/3 cup sliced mushrooms


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 471
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
8 fl oz aloe Vera juice
1 cup coconut milk
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter


Meal 5
Calories: 470
4 farm fresh eggs
1oz feta cheese
12tbsp Trader Joe’s mango salsa


Meal 6
Calories: 369
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow onion
1/3 cup sliced mushrooms
4oz shaved beef steak
1 slice provolone cheese
2tbsp Worcestershire sauce


ENT doc post op, my hearing has not only returned (as I already knew) but it is testing at the highest expected return possible... which is slightly less than normal hearing levels, but the best I could have hoped for in my situation... now it’s a 6 month wait to do a ct scan to make sure the growth doesn’t grow back and one more hearing test before we discuss the next options... so hopefully the thing doesn’t grow back..

Gastro doc, said I’m gtg for full normal diet, but still 15lb weight limit until June 11th. Then I’m to only ease back in. He said nothing crazy at first. He said no extreme heavy weights for 3 months so I don’t risk re-occurrence... said to listen to my body and feel for any stretching in my cores... said it’s not the muscle tissue repairing that is the concern. It’s the unwrapping my wrap and or causing a new hernia.. so I’ll just stick to slow and controlled movements and go heavy where I can and won’t where I can’t...

Was a busy day driving through crazy traffic to make appointments today. Nothing else exciting... but definitely excited for the limited work in the gym, above the restriction I was informed I could do... as long as I’m not pulling on my core ... I’m friggin ready to start easing my way back in... hard to believe it’s not even 4 weeks since surgery yet... it feels like it’s been forever...

Time to wind down for the night.



Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for my health and for the body’s ability to heal. Our bodies are truly remarkable and intricate. So many things happening all at once. Truly mind baffling and amazing.


10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
200mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.25


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,433
Protein: 259
Carbs: 94
Fiber: 75
Sugar: 35
Fat: 101


Workout:
None today

[Proximal]

It’s definitely nice to not have to dwell in my shit for too long before I can wiggle out from under it... some days it’s not so easy though... but I try to remember that saying

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

So basically I’m in full control how long I allow myself to suffer through the shit mentally... the pain, we all must experience. How long do we have to suffer, is up to us...

I am my own worst critic. I would never allow anyone in my life to treat me the shitty way I can treat myself sometimes... that’s a fact

But with lots of practice, I can seem to not suffer as long these days. Just put it behind me and move forward. The whole living for the now type thing. Yesterday’s gone, tomorrow’s not here yet, today’s all I got. I don’t want to spend it rolling around in my own shit feeling crappy lol

I appreciate your words my brother!

I wish I could accomplish that better Cowboy.

I am my own worse enemy.

Glad you are on the mend, have a great weekend.

[Cowboymike]

I wish I could accomplish that better Cowboy.

I am my own worse enemy.

Glad you are on the mend, have a great weekend.

Thank you brother! I hope you have a great weekend too!

Everything just takes first, acknowledgement... then time,
to chop away at the behavior... it took us lifetimes to build our reactions... it’s not going to be retrained over night... all we can do is chip away at it ;0) practice changing the reaction. Then the behavior...

[Cowboymike]

Day 345

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 630
4 farm fresh eggs scrambled
4oz country pork sausage
1/3cup sliced mushrooms


Meal 2
Calories: 360
2 cups pub style pot pie soup


Meal 3
Calories: 675
2tbsp jiffy peanut butter
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
1 cup almond milk unsweetened
1 cup coconut milk
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter


Meal 4
Calories: 711
1/3lb cheese burger with bacon
Oven baked French fries


Chores, gym, going stir crazy.... check check n check.... rain kind of pinned me down outside of running errands and getting chores done... I rewarded myself with a cheese burger from my favorite spot and even gave myself some French fries to eat as well... it’s been a long long time and it’s officially the proof I’m of diet capabilities from here on out... so I’m gtg... I’ll continue on with lower quantity meals though. And still utilize softer foods I think...

Monday I’ll start my low weighted work outs. Start getting through the sore part of the whole going back to the gym.

Happy Memorial Day!!



Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for the gorgeous sunsets enhanced by clouds. For the ability to have the chance to be able to see them. To sit there and just soak it all in. The vibrant colors, the coolness in the air... the smell of fresh clean air just washed by rains...



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.25


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,346
Protein: 160
Carbs: 138
Fiber: 23
Sugar: 29
Fat: 133


Workout:
45min elliptical
10min tanning

[Obs]

Checking in cowboy great work and dedication!

[Cowboymike]

Checking in cowboy great work and dedication!

Good to see ya brother! Hope you are well!

[Cowboymike]

Day 346 & 347

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH

Day 347
125mg TestC
50mg NPP
(Removing EQ until I’m steady back in gym. I can’t even deal with how hungry 24/7 I am and not doing anything to burn it off really. Very poor choice to add at this moment to my trt. Lesson learned)



Going stir crazy and headed out for a quick get away, not in the Forest... so just leaving this here without much log. Will resume Tuesday though and will be moving forward on building myself slowly back up. Until full doc release of course. Then it’s on and cracking ;0) I will be splurging on food tomorrow as I kinda did within reason today. No limitations tomorrow though. Anything I can fit into my belly will be cool maimed.



Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for those of you who served and or are serving.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:



Total Calories and Macros today
Calories:
Protein:
Carbs:
Fiber:
Sugar:
Fat:


Workout:

[Cowboymike]

Day 348

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
12.5mg Aromasin


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 330
1 ham and cheese croissant

Meal 2
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie bar protein bar

Meal 3
Calories: 590
2 cups 2percent cottage cheese
1 choc brownie bar protein bar

Meals 4 & 5
Calories: 1,045
2 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
2 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
1 cup coconut milk
2 cup isopure anytime protein
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
3 cups fresh cut n cubed water melon

Meal 6
Calories: 220
2 cups Cambell’s chunky vegetable soup

Was a good day today. Work went smooth as silk and then I got off with lots of time to go to the gym before the wife returned home.

Got my tan on and then got my cardio on. Then decided to go ahead and try out some light weights to get some blood into these muscles... been a little sad looking in the mirror lately lol... but like a peacock, my feathers fluffed up in out on full display while I hit these bad boys... veins were popping, sweat was glistening, dudes were snickering at my weight choices as they eye fucked me in judgement lol... I stayed slow n controlled and my body responded beautifully.. it didn’t even look like I lost anything during my down time. Even though I have... but pumped up? Can’t even tell lol... I’ll drop the hammer on these bitches in 3 weeks after I warm these puppies up and keep them primed and ready to destroy. I’ll be back in no time at all... felt so good though.. like really really good. I needed to release so bad. Even though I held way back. I probably still over did it. I’ll be a t-Rex for the next couple days I’m sure lol


Daily gratitude item:
Grateful to have all my moving limbs in order to go to the gym with and have them all work as designed allowing me to move about freely.


10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 + hydration packet


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,565
Protein: 275
Carbs: 194
Fiber: 64
Sugar: 106
Fat: 70


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

Stand up dumbbell curls
3 sets @
15lbs x 75reps slow n controlled

Preacher Curls
3 sets @
30lbs x 50reps slow n controlled

Cable tricep pushdown with rope
3 sets @
40lbs x 50 reps slow n controlled

Reverse curls
4 sets @
30lbs x 25reps

Super sets:
Sit down hammer curls
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow n controlled

Wrist curls
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow n controlled

One arm dumbbell extension
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow b controlled

[Family_guy]

Day 348

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
12.5mg Aromasin


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 330
1 ham and cheese croissant

Meal 2
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie bar protein bar

Meal 3
Calories: 590
2 cups 2percent cottage cheese
1 choc brownie bar protein bar

Meals 4 & 5
Calories: 1,045
2 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
2 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
1 cup coconut milk
2 cup isopure anytime protein
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
3 cups fresh cut n cubed water melon

Meal 6
Calories: 220
2 cups Cambell’s chunky vegetable soup

Was a good day today. Work went smooth as silk and then I got off with lots of time to go to the gym before the wife returned home.

Got my tan on and then got my cardio on. Then decided to go ahead and try out some light weights to get some blood into these muscles... been a little sad looking in the mirror lately lol... but like a peacock, my feathers fluffed up in out on full display while I hit these bad boys... veins were popping, sweat was glistening, dudes were snickering at my weight choices as they eye fucked me in judgement lol... I stayed slow n controlled and my body responded beautifully.. it didn’t even look like I lost anything during my down time. Even though I have... but pumped up? Can’t even tell lol... I’ll drop the hammer on these bitches in 3 weeks after I warm these puppies up and keep them primed and ready to destroy. I’ll be back in no time at all... felt so good though.. like really really good. I needed to release so bad. Even though I held way back. I probably still over did it. I’ll be a t-Rex for the next couple days I’m sure lol


Daily gratitude item:
Grateful to have all my moving limbs in order to go to the gym with and have them all work as designed allowing me to move about freely.


10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 + hydration packet


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 2,565
Protein: 275
Carbs: 194
Fiber: 64
Sugar: 106
Fat: 70


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

Stand up dumbbell curls
3 sets @
15lbs x 75reps slow n controlled

Preacher Curls
3 sets @
30lbs x 50reps slow n controlled

Cable tricep pushdown with rope
3 sets @
40lbs x 50 reps slow n controlled

Reverse curls
4 sets @
30lbs x 25reps

Super sets:
Sit down hammer curls
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow n controlled

Wrist curls
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow n controlled

One arm dumbbell extension
4 sets @
15lbs x 30reps slow b controlled

I’m excited for you man! Glad to hear you back in the gym! Take it easy and don’t hurt yourself.

[Family_guy]

Out of curiosity why you running the aromasin? Are you really estrogen sensitive?

Also what brand of GH you running?

[Obs]

Good to see ya brother! Hope you are well!

Busy and battling.

Hope you are kicking ass as it appears you are!

[Cowboymike]

I’m excited for you man! Glad to hear you back in the gym! Take it easy and don’t hurt yourself.

Definitely taking it easy... I just need to warm these puppies up over the next 3 weeks so I’m not going to be screwed when I open it up and go balls to the wall again ;0)

[Cowboymike]

Out of curiosity why you running the aromasin? Are you really estrogen sensitive?

Also what brand of GH you running?

Usually don’t have to at trt dosing... but for some reason right now I’m running higher lately. So I’ll just drop one Tuesday’s and Saturdays after pin days... see if that’ll bring things down a smidge for me...

At the moment on the Supertropin 16iu vials

[Cowboymike]

Busy and battling.

Hope you are kicking ass as it appears you are!

Hell yeah brother! We shall be victorious in all our battles! ;0)

[Cowboymike]

Day 349

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
50mg NPP



Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 445
1 turkey sausage patty
2 farm fresh egg, over hard
Shredded cheese
1 English muffin

Meal 2
Calories: 445
1 turkey sausage patty
2 farm fresh egg, over hard
Shredded cheese
1 English muffin

Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar

Meal 4
Calories: 780
2 cups, 2percent cottage cheese
2 choc brownie protein bar

Meals 5
Calories: 600
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
4 tbsp pbfit powdered peanut butter
2 cups almond milk

Meal 6
Calories: 220
2 cups Cambell’s chunky vegetable soup

Meal 7
Calories: 369
Green bell pepper
Yellow onion
Sliced mushrooms
Beef shaved steak
Provolone cheese
Worcestershire sauce


Plus Vitamins: NAC, Tudca, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Vit D3/E/C, Iron, iodine, calcium, magnesium, Alaskan fish oil, saw palmetto, potassium, S-glutathione, zinc, organ defender


In a boo hoo poor me mental retardation today... poor me and how bad I have it. Life’s just ssssooooooo rough lmao... geezus I swear I can mentally be like a temper tantrum throwing little shit. Just out of no where. Poor cowboy can’t have everything the way he wants... somethings not going my way. I have no control over the universe and guess what? The world doesn’t revolve around me... cry me a fucking river... lol

So back to the sleep studies and basically back to square one... all those surgeries, all those years of going through absolute hell, all that money completely wasted... all that precious time, wasted... mentally I went through hell, I had a face I had all my life, then they cut my jaws off and moved them forward. I literally took on many very unique and very different faces before everything settled into what I ended up with... I could show you each phase side by side and you would never believe it’s all the same person... my own fucking mother didn’t even recognize me. Like legit didn’t know who I was until I started talking lol... it is what it is... gotta do the sleep study again and just see what this doc says. He seems to think ALL my sleep issues can be solved by that stupid fucking machine I went through hell to avoid having to be tied to the rest of my life... so either he’s that good that he knows more than the hundred other specialists before him or he’s just another through people on a machine and he done with them kind of lazy doc... I don’t even care anymore. I just need to sleep good sleep. So I can heal and have a body function the way it’s suppose to.

I won’t even continue my bitching as everything’s upside down in my head right now. Ive allowed myself to steamroll myself ALL day long. I’m so exhausting... and I’m getting on my own damn nerves...

Got to the gym. So chest will probably have to sit on the back burner until I’m cleared. No matter how I tried, sitting, laying down, standing up, doing my best to isolate only the chest muscles.. I felt everything pull into my abdomen...even light weight... so I got cardio after and was winded almost immediately... I struggled today that’s for sure.

Tomorrow I’ll hit shoulders. I already know I can nail this with light weight and without engaging my core. Ive never been strong in the shoulder department anyway and typically use light weight in the past. I do love to do supersets and turn them into drop sets... just basically light weights with crap ton of reps.



Daily gratitude item:
Grateful for my imperfections. To remind me I’m not God, that I’m only human, that I can have a bad day too. To humble me in times my ego likes to runaway with the day. To be reminded that I need to continue work on myself and practice more on redirecting my thoughts, actions and results during these types of situations, towards more solution than to sit in it and let things own me that I have no real control of anyway... it’s literally like getting mad if I can’t make it snow in summer... I can’t control that lol. Let it go, let it go, let it go... (sing to tune of let it snow [emoji3587])


10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
2.25 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,379
Protein: 334
Carbs: 153
Fiber: 80
Sugar: 39
Fat: 146


Workout:
45 min cardio, elliptical, 5 miles

Sit down chest press
4 sets @
40lbs x 50 slow slow slow reps

Svene press
4 sets @
10lb plate x 35 slow slow reps

Sit down fly machine
4 sets @
40lbs x 100 slow slow reps

Cable flys
Mid
6 sets @
20lbs x 50 slow slow reps

Upper
6 sets @
20lbs x 50 slow reps

Lower
3 sets @
20lbs x failure sets (only getting 20 reps at this point roughly)

My stomach started to not feel good.. coulda been gas... coulda been too much... but I’m not doing chest again until I’m fully able... it’s almost impossible not to engage core no matter how strict or how much you isolate...

[Obs]

Damn brother you been under the knife a lot!
Glad you are upbeat or at least hard on yourself.
Thats some heavy shit

[Proximal]

Been staring at this for some time, trying to figure out what to say that would be helpful, but can’t.

You’re a fucking stud bro.

[Cowboymike]

Been staring at this for some time, trying to figure out what to say that would be helpful, but can’t.

You’re a fucking stud bro.

Damn brother you been under the knife a lot!
Glad you are upbeat or at least hard on yourself.
Thats some heavy shit

Thank you guys.. it’s all good. Just had a day and I was being weak.. a little mental fall, but dusted myself off and I’m back in the saddle again... these days are going to come and go every now and then. It’s life. ;0) we grow, we stub our toe, we grow some more...

[Cowboymike]

Day 350

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 445
1 turkey sausage patty
2 farm fresh egg, over hard
Shredded cheese
1 English muffin


Meal 2
Calories: 445
1 turkey sausage patty
2 farm fresh egg, over hard
Shredded cheese
1 English muffin


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meal 4
Calories: 780
2 cups, 2percent cottage cheese
2 choc brownie protein bar


Meals 5
Calories: 476
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
1 cup almond milk
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk


Meal 6
Calories: 280
2 cups Cambell’s chicken and corn chowder soup


Meal 7
Calories: 369
Green bell pepper
Yellow onion
Sliced mushrooms
Beef shaved steak
Provolone cheese
Worcestershire sauce


Plus Vitamins: NAC, Tudca, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Vit D3/E/C, Iron, iodine, calcium, magnesium, Alaskan fish oil, saw palmetto, potassium, S-glutathione, zinc, organ defender



Had a kick ass day today. Much welcomed. Mentally on top of my game and physically excelling beyond expectations. Just one of those days when everything went right.

Blasted shoulders and back today and I’m without a doubt going to feel the repercussions over the next few days lol... tomorrow I gotta figure out how to get some legs in... extensions and curls will be doable... squatting movements or sleds, not so much... I’m excited regardless. I miss hitting some legs.

Gotta get up early so going to cut this one short.


Daily gratitude item:
Grateful to have had a good day today. Sun was shining bright, temperature was just right, work went smooth and I blew my shoulders and back up with low weight and strict movements... I can barely even lift my arms now... I feel amazing



8:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
1.75 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,174
Protein: 313
Carbs: 156
Fiber: 76
Sugar: 37
Fat: 132


Workout:

Straight bar cable upright rows
4 sets @
40lbs x 25reps

Lateral dumbbell raises
4 sets @
10lbs x 25reps

Dumbbell front raises
4 sets @
10lbs x 25reps

Face pulls with rope
3 sets @
30lbs x 25reps

Seated rows
3 sets @
40lbs x 25reps

Close grip lat pull downs
3 sets @
40lbs x 30reps

Straight arm lat pulldown
3 sets @
40lbs x 30reps

Back flys
3 sets @
40lbs x 50reps

Tbar rows
3 sets @
45 x 50 reps

[Cowboymike]

Day 351

Upon wake up:
50mg Metoprolol
500mg L-Tyrosine
1 serving liquid Turmeric
3iu HGH
125mg TestC
50mg NPP
12.5mg Aromasin


Meals:
Meal 1
Calories: 621
1/2 breakfast sandwich
2 farm fresh eggs
1 slice Dave’s great seed bread
1/2 tbsp avocado oil mayo
1tbsp mustard
5tsp cholula hot sauce
1/2 black angus burger patty and applewood smoked bacon


Meal 2
Calories: 621
1/2 breakfast sandwich
2 farm fresh eggs
1 slice Dave’s great seed bread
1/2 tbsp avocado oil mayo
1tbsp mustard
5tsp cholula hot sauce
1/2 black angus burger patty and applewood smoked bacon


Meal 3
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar

Meal 4
Calories: 380
2 choc brownie protein bar

Meals 5
Calories: 475
1 serving whey concentrate, unflavored
1 serving whey concentrate, chocolate
1 cup almond milk
1 cup unsweetened coconut milk

Meal 6
Calories: 280
2 cups Cambell’s chicken and corn chowder soup

Meal 7
Calories: 369
Green bell pepper
Yellow onion
Sliced mushrooms
Beef shaved steak
Provolone cheese
Worcestershire sauce


Plus Vitamins: NAC, Tudca, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Vit D3/E/C, Iron, iodine, calcium, magnesium, Alaskan fish oil, saw palmetto, potassium, S-glutathione, zinc, organ defender



Put a fork in the week cause it’s done. I was extra fast today and screwed myself out of hours lol... but that’s ok. It worked out. Got invited to a retirement party for one of the engineers and I just happen to get off in time for that. So I made myself go and partake with a majority of people I’ve never met but work with at the same company.. it’s not easy for me to do that stuff. I am very anti social. Unless at work, doing sales or put into a position where I need to turn on the charm... but I hate it lol. I feel very very awkward. It makes my skin crawl.

Got through the day, made new work acquaintances and even had time for the gym. I really wanted to let the pony’s loose. But I behaved. Just played around with toe positioning while being locked into the machines... actually quite surprising the difference I felt. I’m going to for sure pay for today tomorrow. When I’m waddling around like a penguin.




Daily gratitude item:
Grateful to get out of my comfort zone. To push myself into a situation that makes my skin crawl and knocks me off my game. Not to embarrass myself but to challenge myself. It always ends up an amazing experience after all is said and done. For this I’m grateful to experience this sensation of the aftermath of discomfort.



10:00pm will be
50mg metoprolol
1 - 5-HTP Plus
500mg L-Tyrosine
100mcg T4 liquid


Total water consumed until now:
2.25 gallons


Total Calories and Macros today
Calories: 3,127
Protein: 277
Carbs: 135
Fiber: 83
Sugar: 29
Fat: 156


Workout:

Leg extensions
5 sets @
50lbs x 50reps (burned like hell)
3 drop sets @
50lbs x 25reps, toes inward
40lbs x 25reps, toes outward
30lbs x 25reps, toes pointed
20lbs x 25reps, toes inward
10lbs x failure, every 3rd rep switch toe position

Leg Curls
5 sets @
50lbs x 50reps
3 drop sets @
50lbs x 25reps, toes inward
40lbs x 25reps, toes outward
30lbs x 25reps, toes pointed
20lbs x 25reps, toes inward
10lbs x failure, every 3rd rep switch toe position

Leg press machine
5 sets @
50lbs x 50reps
3 drop sets @
50lbs x 25reps, toes inward
40lbs x 25reps, toes outward
30lbs x 25reps, toes pointed
20lbs x 25reps, toes inward
10lbs x failure, every 3rd rep switch toe position

Weightless Squats
3 sets @ 100 squats

Weightless lunges
3 sets @ 25 lunges

Cardio, 30 min elliptical, had a hard time completing

[Obs]

I dont socialize well either boss.

Its not fear or anxiety its just that I have seen peoples shit in large groups and I want no part of it.

I have a political face and a work face.
I prefer the work face.
No way I would ever use the political face if I didnt have to.

Every time I give normies a chance to be friends they wind up doing something spiteful. I don't forgive that. Then it turns into who is willing to go the distance with the spite and I am already cleaning up blood before they decide how far they will go and who the hell needs that shit?

[Proximal]

Passed on a retirement party tonight (the wife was "thrilled" going alone).

You are a better man than I am.