I don’t think this is DHB

[Obs]

I’m not gonna lie I was lmao by the time I hit pregnant Sasquatch. Someone needs to record these stories, they’d have a best seller.

That’s hilarious you current gf thinks you might try to get back with your obese ex. That’s girls though. My ex was afraid I’d get back with a chick that lived on another continent. Like wtf?? Then if I ever even said her name for context or whatever she would say “then why don’t you move to Europe with her? Why don’t you get back with her?”

I’ll take younger chicks but I’ll also take a gym milf. You know what I’m talking about. Maybe a well maintained gilf from only above the shoulders.

Gf only uses fit girls in her fantasies about how I am, "Gonna leave her for some girl with muscles, that likes working out...with a hard ass...(she goes step by step) She will like it in the butt and like to suck your penis all the time...and you will ruin my life and be happy with her and forget all about me..."

I don't know if she is trying to guilt me or get me horny tbh.

I used to think it meant she wanted me to bring a girl like that home so we could all play but I was very wrong.

[Test Monsterone]

Gf only uses fit girls in her fantasies about how I am, "Gonna leave her for some girl with muscles, that likes working out...with a hard ass...(she goes step by step) She will like it in the butt and like to suck your penis all the time...and you will ruin my life and be happy with her and forget all about me..."

I don't know if she is trying to guilt me or get me horny tbh.

I used to think it meant she wanted me to bring a girl like that home so we could all play but I was very wrong.

At first when you said girl with muscles I was picturing Dave Palumbo with a wig, then I read on. I could see how you could (mis)interpret that... I would have thought the same thing. If a chick ever asks you this, it’s a trick question, Don’t do it: “if we had a threesome, which one of my friends would you choose?” I fell for that then saved myself at the very last moment. “I would choose Jen.......uh because she’s not nearly as hot as you and... uh.. at least we could trust her.”

[Obs]

At first when you said girl with muscles I was picturing Dave Palumbo with a wig, then I read on. I could see how you could (mis)interpret that... I would have thought the same thing. If a chick ever asks you this, it’s a trick question, Don’t do it: “if we had a threesome, which one of my friends would you choose?” I fell for that then saved myself at the very last moment. “I would choose Jen.......uh because she’s not nearly as hot as you and... uh.. at least we could trust her.”

Thats wise!
I must admit I would have said brit before she finished the sentence and then she woulda been hitting me with stuff.

She likes to throw drinks at me when we argue.

I slapped her brother and choked him and she threw grape juice at me. We would argue and it was water and tea normally.

Then one time I told her I was gonna fuck her friends when we got in a bad fight.
She dumped 24oz of scalding ass coffee on my head. Hurt like... Coffee dumped on your head.
Cannot believe I kept my hair.

Picking out wich friend too fast would get random ass things thrown at me followed by liquid.