Bouncer this ones for u bro....
OG
> WAR BETWEEN IRELAND AND FRANCE AVERTED
>
> Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office
> wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United
> States when his telephone rang.
>
> "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down
> at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that
> we are officially declaring war on you!"
>
> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
> your army?"
>
> "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,
> me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team
> from the pub. That makes eight!"
>
> Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand
> men in my army waiting to move on my command."
>
> "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
>
> "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked.
>
> "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
>
> Chirac sighed, amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
> and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to one
> hundred fifty thousand since we last spoke."
>
> "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
> on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
> McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
> four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
>
> Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
> you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
> complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
> since we last spoke, I've increased my army to two hundred thousand!"
>
> "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin',
>
> Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
>
> "I'm sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>
> "Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and
> decided there's no foo-kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners
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Originally Posted by MESSY_UK
