Hope everybody's been good. July 28th I asked Jennifer Rose Olsen to marry me. I truly never thought I was going to ask anyone that ever again.
I'm very fortunate to have found love like hers.
About a week ago I was at work and I noticed as the days went by I couldn't really go very hard and I was sweating profusely for no reason and out of breath and my chest was getting tight. I finally did what OBS never does and I went to a doctor to get an EKG.
I've had a lot of EKGs and I checked out okay on the EKG but when they pulled my bloods my kidneys were failing I had rhabdomyolysis. They admitted me a couple days.
I had been pushing it very hard at work but not enough to break muscle tissue down enough to cause something like that. So I was scratching my head trying to figure out why this could have happened and I knew my chest didn't feel right.
I told the doctors this only happens when I'm under duress and I ask them to give me a heart stress test.
I just got done with the test, (which I couldn't take the physical because I had hurt my foot and I couldn't run as fast as they wanted on the treadmill so they gave me a chemical stress test) and I went back to my room and a nurse started being a bitch. I guess she was having a bad day.
I walked out of the ICU against medical advice and went back home and drink some beer and still felt like shit I knew something wasn't right even though my kidneys were starting to improve.
I drove to an ER and another town where I know people and I really like the hospital and the doctors and nurses there.
I got the results of my stress test and it turns out I have heart failure.
I had a very very good young doctor tell me that it wasn't my steroid use. The right side of my heart has modeled itself into non-working tissue and he believes it was because of the ephedrine I took for years and energy drinks.
I'm not going to be around long but I think anyone who knows me already knew that. This weekend I'm going to take down a big dead American elm and it's going to be the last tree I ever climb. I finally get to hang up my climbing spurs and it's going to be a fucking relief.
The doctor said if I live a healthy lifestyle it will lengthen my life possibly. I'm not going to change my lifestyle and I still drink beer and I still smoke cigarettes.
I quit the whiskey and the hard drugs. I told my boss the news and he is a very good man I absolutely adore him. They told the guys at work I'm not going to be able to move very fast.
I don't abuse steroids anymore I self administer my trt. The doctor recommended that I continue doing so.
I can't go pound iron and get jacked anymore but if I could go back in time I would have chose bodybuilding over my career. My job has been the biggest stressor in my life and it took way more motivation than doing what I loved.
I always said I hope someday I can just sit under a tree and enjoy the shade and not see the tree as a pain in the ass and a fucking dollar sign.
I'm going to get to do that now.
I'm going to get to enjoy a lot of shit I never got the chance to.
And I hope my brother's here remember that we're all terminally ill. Every single one of us is dying.
I hope you live your life that way and you get to enjoy the little time you have.
I don't got time for much anymore but in case you guys don't hear from me again I just want you all to know it's been a pleasure.
You guys do what you want to do to make you happy. Don't fucking live other people's lives for them and try to be what they want you to be to make them happy.




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