GOD ****IT!! I FREAKIN POOPED IN MY PANTS AT WORK...again.

[co2boi]

Maybe you should try a small tampon!

lol....oh wait..ouch

[Commando_Barbi]

Maybe i should. Will you insert it?

LOL Uhhh NO.

You are on your own with that....not much into fish smell!!!!

[clockworks]

I haven't felt that way since i overflowed the toilet after a massive diarea episode in 7th grade, but that's another story.

please share it! unlike some tight asses on the board (no pun intended), i enjoy a good sh-t story! your first story was *hilarious* and very well told.

[1badcamaro]

yea, i would have just tossed the underwear and rocked it commando the rest of the day but then again if your ass leaked, it would go straight onto your scrubs..........

[AnabolicBoy1981]

please share it! unlike some tight asses on the board (no pun intended), i enjoy a good sh-t story! your first story was *hilarious* and very well told.

Very well. Here it is:

When I was in 7th grade, i went to a lutheren school. Every wednesday we had "mass" or whatever you call it. During mass, the pastor(priest guy) at some point either in the beginning or the end go over some events that were taking place in the school. I never really heard anything he said because my mind was too busy fantisiszing about the girls in my class with wicked sexual fantisies.(I'm prolly goin to helll now for thinking about anal sex during church, oh well) So basically I never heard anything that guy said, even if it was extremely important.
Later that day for whatever reason, I had a very liquidy case of diarea. I went up to the bathoom, sat down, and like a scene from dumb and dumber **** my brains out. It was one of the strangest most impressive diareas ever. When I looked into the toilet when i finished, ALL the water was completely darkend with dark diarea! Not like the usaul diarea where there is some seperation from the water and liquied poop, it almost seemed as if there was no water in it at all and it was just pure liqued poop. This must have been because not only was my diarea quite volumouse that day, but also quite dark.
I feeling so much better after releasing the wicked toxins from my body. In fact i felt great. Even Vigorous! Teeming with energy and ready to have a positive and productive day at school. A feeling I rarely ever have, and usually only experiance from releasing a wicked demon from my ass. There is just something about having a huge **** that helps you release negative energy.
Well, as good as I was feeling...that was all about to change. As I slowely pressed the handle to flush the toilet...a dreamlet of a memory just barely wisperd in my head. Like a scene from "Kung Fu:the legend continues", I was like Kane having a flashback that immediatly correlatted to my present situation. It was a memory of that mornings announcements at mass. I could vaguley hear the pastor's voice saying something about the toilets not working today, and that that toilets in the stals cannot be flushed. As the handle was already halfway down, I just pushed it all the way thinking "Nah. Fucck it. He couldn't have meant this bathroom. Probably the one down stairs. Besisdes, theres no out of order signs."
Was I ever wrong. The dark abyss slighly lowered as expected...and then made a sound... and the scene sterted to reverse itself, AND CAME UP. I knew when i heard the sound i was ****ed. I isaw the darkness rise, and just froze. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I Hoped to god it would stop after rising a few inches, but it kept on coming. I was petrified. It was like being executed in the guilletine and just watcheing the blade come down to your head.
I decided to take some action, and tried to shut off the toilet! But i couldn't remember which weigh to turn the nob!(i know now that it's clockwise). I was franitcally twisting the nob, but i did't have much time to figure it out, as the blackness was rising i had to move fast, or my nice white shirt would be a dark brown.
It was too, late. It didn't work. It had risen to the brim, and within seconds..dark brown SMELLy poop water poured out onto the floor...unceasingly, and without mercy. I just couldn't belive my eyes. The scene in front of me was just NOT happening...BUT IT WAS! It didn't stop. And though the poopy water had spread over SEVERAL feet, it still kept it's DARKENSS! I could not believe that i was seeing the contents of MY body spread out all over the school bathroom floor. It didn't feel real. The sense of panic couldn't been worse than if i had chopped of someones head and their blood was everywear.
The poop kept flowing. I was frantically trying to decide what to do. I was stepping in it..it was everywwere. I knew it wouldn't stop, so i had to do someting before it starts leaking out the door. If it had been any other school, i would have split and saved my ass. But it was different at my school. Oh yes, we had to SIGN the bathroom sheet when we went, and MARK THE TIME. So basically, if I ran, I would be ****ed, because they could figure out WHO did it. I had to stop the flow, so i took my chances on dirtiying my clothes and finally turned the nob the right way. I managed to come away without poop on my clothes. The overflow stopped....but what the hell was i gonna do know? I had an area of about 8 by 8 feet, saturated in brown poop water! I couldn't believe how much area it covered. I couldn't believe I had done this. I couldn't have imagined a worse diarea situation.
I stood there for ten minutes trying to think of ways to unfucck myself. I had one idea. I would sit there in another stall and wait till some kid came in. He would have to have sighned out to to go go the bathroom, so I could just blame him. So I sat....and sat, for like 15 minutes and no-one came. I guess nobody else had to piss or shiit that day! Or perhaps they actually listened to the anouncements that day!
Then, I became delerious. I was so petrified that i started laughing hilariously at my pathetic situation. It was complete and utter despair. Like a man doomed.
I finally decided that i had to fess up. I had no choice. They would know it's me whether i did, or didn't. So I told myself, i can either be embarressed by this situation, or I can just pretend my life is a comedy movie, and look at it as funny. So i did just that. I was gonna laugh at this. And the funniest part of this movie, was gonna be going into the main office and telling them what you had done. And what made this even FUNNIER, is that the office lady was the MOTHER of one of the girls in class! I walked into the office and I remember my words almost exactly.

Anabolicboy: Hi
Office lady:Hello. Can I help you?
Anabolicboy: Uh, yeah sort of. Uhm,.. I kinda have a problem.
Office lady: Oh what is it?
Anabolicboy: Well, Uh..the bathroom doesn't really work right and uh..the thing kinda.....overflowed a little..so uh...
Office lady: Oh alright. I'll get a mop and go in there.
Anabolicboy: Uh, okay.

And that was basically it! I don't really think she understood the magnitude of the situation though! I flet like sayin "You might need like 30 mops lady". lol. I would love to have seen the look on her face when she walked into that bathroom! She proabbaly had nooooo idea,lol!
Can't say I didn't tell her though!hahahaha
I always wondered whether she told her daughter that she had to mop up about 5 gallons of my **** of the floor that day. And I wonder if her daughter told any of the hot chicks about it.

In a way, i'm glad i had this experiance. It was a great personall growth experaince for me. After this, pretty much nothing ebarresses me.
I now look back on this and laugh. It is one of my fondest memories now, even though at the time it was extremely traumatic.

[helios]

haha i dont know which of your stories is better. you definetely know how to tell em.

[clockworks]

bahahaha, brilliant! i was on the edge of my seat the entire read...=) emailed it to a few of my low brow friends also...=)

[decadbal]

atleast tell them you were drunk and couldnt hold it in..