Thread: Money & relationship question
06-15-2005, 05:33 PM #1
Money & relationship question
I met a girl 4 months ago who is torn between going back to her home country Brazil with the language skills she has acquired here and having a good job there, versus persuing a life here by taking a two-year course that would yield less certain financial returns despite a better lifestyle. I feel great with her in every way, but her priority is getting her sh*t together. She is currently perfecting her english in school and working at a lame job to make money. I have my sh*t together and it sucks not having the time I want with her, due to her current studies and work, but I really want her to stay. I offered to give her some money for the two-year course (about ¼ of the tuition) so that she can stay here and that we could be together. It would not bust the bank for me, but it is quite a bit. My question is just about giving money – I’ve never offerred this before to any other girl. She told me she would think about it – whether to accept or not - she's always wanted to make it on her own. Anyways, if we split I'd be OK with it because I'd feel good that I helped her. There's also the question about feelings. We have told each other that we love one another, but it was said pretty early into the relationship. We recently had a couple of petty little arguments, and I have a feeling that she might be questioning the love. I know this is a bigger issue for me to deal with. But I'm asking about the money - it kind of feels like a big deal but is it? Is it being tooo nice? I wonder if she feels like she’s got me wrapped around her little finger. Would do ya’ll think?
06-15-2005, 05:58 PM #2
what exactly is your question? should u give her money or not?
do u think u and her will end up together in the future...you were saying u and here were having petty lil arguments, do u feel she still loves you?
do u see that she really is dedicated in learning the language and she is dedicated in school. if so then help her out bro.
here: surprise her with this saying: "EU ESTOU APAIXONADO POR VOCE"...that means u are in luv with her. see how she reacts to that.
06-15-2005, 06:06 PM #3
wait wait.. You met her four months ago? and you "said I love you, early in the relationship" ... well damn man.. was it on the first day?
and if shes brazilian...post pics lol
06-15-2005, 06:29 PM #4
Your in big trouble, bail out when you can!!!!
06-15-2005, 07:00 PM #5
are you a lesbian?
06-15-2005, 08:00 PM #6
My question is whether oferring the money was the right thing to do. It could just let her know how much I care, but also it could also seem like trying to buy her love. Its just that I've never done something like that before.
juicyr6 - Thanks. Ya I just want to help her out.
needmorestrength - It wasn't on the first date. It was probably after a month or so. But still probably too soon. She's my Vida though I just couldn't help it.
juststartingny - pls explain.
Thanks for your replies.
06-15-2005, 08:32 PM #7
If you want her to stay, and you can spare the $, and you don't think she would take advantage of you, then yes, give her the $. I've always taken care of my woman(she hasn't worked a day in her life) and it's worked out for me.
06-15-2005, 08:58 PM #8AR Hall of Fame
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If she's Brazilian, that's great.
Post pics and I'll tell you if it's worth it or not.
06-15-2005, 10:55 PM #9
look bro, most of my girls were brazilian.
at least where i'm from , most of them are gold diggers, i know of cases where they marry guys just for their money, and to become a legal alien resident. a lot of them are illegal when they come here.
but then again i also dated sweet brazilian girls, so i can't judge on this one, it going to have to be your call, all i'm saying is be carefull!
06-15-2005, 11:31 PM #10
love, (never mind).. good p***y can make you do some stupid things.. if it's only been 4 months it is really hard for you to think things clearly.. by helping her out like that you are telling her you are committed to her.
what happens four months from now when you want to move on and your stuck with her, what then?
if you are just a good person and want to help her out be brutally honest with her.. tell her things may change and to be prepared for whatever may happen in the future . (meaning if she fu*ks you over you'll drop her like a bad habbit)
best of luck
06-16-2005, 12:11 AM #11
SC - Ya she's Brazilian. And Fine. But she probably wouldnt like me posting pics of her. Good effort though!
Anyways I don't think she would take advantage of me - she's hasn't said yes to the money yet, and she works so hard right now to get by.
Tazwell - I see your point. Thanks. I did tell her already that if we split, I'd be happy that I helped her out and then I'd just move on.
06-16-2005, 12:21 AM #12
hmm well if she is after ur money shes not gonna make u feel that she is.......she should know better than that....................
well if ur gonna be happy that u helped her then just give it to her!!! i guess it could count as charity if u both split
but i wouldnt give it to a g/f cuz those usually last like a week or 2 but if i had a good female friend i know yeah y not.....
hmm u could try this.....just mention that things r bad now , money is short but dont mention nething bout he tutition see wut happens.....
06-16-2005, 01:22 AM #13
Laroche, it's just the "love" talking. When it ends, you'll regret investing your money into what could have been.
06-16-2005, 07:34 AM #14
Never give a chick money
06-16-2005, 08:08 AM #15
take a chance! what the hell its only cash. think about how much money we spend to get a chick in the first place. nice cars, nice clothes. what the hell. if she burns you then spend a little more to hunt her down and have her killed.
06-16-2005, 08:46 AM #16
If you have genuine feelings for the gal - then do it. You will respect yourself later. At least offer and if she accepts, then you di da good thing to help someone out that you truly care about...If you have any doubts, then think clearly and let her go bro.
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