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  1. #1
    decadbal's Avatar
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    ok, so im a asshole

    so last night, i got in a huge dispute in public with her, i was very intoxicated, and i was loud, and yellin... well now she is scared of me, and wants nada to do with me, i care for her alot, and wanna change, i even promised to stop drinkin period...which isnt hard, bc i dont drink alot now anyway... now my question is this, do you guys hold stuff ppl do when they are drunk against them, i dont mean cheatin, but if someones an asshole or something when they are drunk, do u not blow it off, bc they are drunk or do u hold grudges. i thought she would be ok with it bc i was driunk.. i know its wrong, and it is something id never do sober at all...

  2. #2
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    I personally can't stand people who can't control their drinking and act a fool. So my answer is no I don't hold grudges but drinking is no excuse to act an ass and do/say what you want.

  3. #3
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    I normally dont hold grudges over drunken arguments. however there are some cases where it gets really intense and changes things for a little while. but as long as you didnt hit her or spit in her face she'll get over it.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by 305GUY
    I normally dont hold grudges over drunken arguments. however there are some cases where it gets really intense and changes things for a little while. but as long as you didnt hit her or spit in her face she'll get over it.
    speaking from experience 305? Yea the spitting one really pisses them off.

  5. #5
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    ive been in a couple fights with my wife over the years, and most of them were from drinking. i have never held anything she said while she was drunk over her head, nor has she with me.

  6. #6
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    depends. there is never an exception for cheating..if she cheats and alcohol is involved i will just get more mad. In this circumstance I think she should forgive you. Thats a little strange she is afraid of you..how long have yall been together??

  7. #7
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    not long, she has known me for a while tho... we are sorta talkin now, which is better than this morning, i dont know tho if she will wanna go back out, she said she is intimidated by me, bc of being bigger than most i guess.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    not long, she has known me for a while tho... we are sorta talkin now, which is better than this morning, i dont know tho if she will wanna go back out, she said she is intimidated by me, bc of being bigger than most i guess.
    well ya of course. Is she a smaller girl? I was starting to like this one girl and she f*cked up and I screamed at her for a good while..ended up going nowhere after that cuz shes like "no im scared of you and i couldnt handle being in that situation every time I messed up"

  9. #9
    IBdmfkr's Avatar
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    Yea a drunk gorilla on a rampage sorta scares chicks.. go figure

  10. #10
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    If it's one of my buds acting like a fool, no biggie. But what you have to understand is that women store this away in their memory banks. Things might be good for a while, but as soon as it goes bad she is gonna throw this back in your face. This of course assumes she hasn't already lost a ton of interest in you, which she may never get back. I would apologize for acting like a fool and move on without her.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by SprinterOne
    If it's one of my buds acting like a fool, no biggie. But what you have to understand is that women store this away in their memory banks. Things might be good for a while, but as soon as it goes bad she is gonna throw this back in your face. This of course assumes she hasn't already lost a ton of interest in you, which she may never get back. I would apologize for acting like a fool and move on without her.
    I hate this shit! Getting mad at me 100 times over again for something that happened 6 months ago will not make it go away

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    well ya of course. Is she a smaller girl? I was starting to like this one girl and she f*cked up and I screamed at her for a good while..ended up going nowhere after that cuz shes like "no im scared of you and i couldnt handle being in that situation every time I messed up"
    yea, shes pretty small, maybe 110, if even.. she knows i am not the kind of guy who hits girls, thats one of the things i make sure she understands, i think shes just hurt, and mad at me about it, i hope things will calm down and we work it out in the next few days..

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    yea, shes pretty small, maybe 110, if even.. she knows i am not the kind of guy who hits girls, thats one of the things i make sure she understands, i think shes just hurt, and mad at me about it, i hope things will calm down and we work it out in the next few days..
    it should go away. I dont see this being a big concern..she has to understand that you just happen to be a big guy and you get mad like everyone else.

  14. #14
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    you probably humiliated her and now she wants to make you feel bad. chicks are cruel in those ways, they know how to get to you.

  15. #15
    decadbal's Avatar
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    after it was all over, i was on my knees outside her car tryin to get her to not be mad, and apologizing over and over.. which got me nowwhere

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    after it was all over, i was on my knees outside her car tryin to get her to not be mad, and apologizing over and over.. which got me nowwhere
    ah dont get on ur knees...this isnt a gf for a year+ we're talking about. THat never helps..speaking from experience..of course you know more from experience ur older

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    after it was all over, i was on my knees outside her car tryin to get her to not be mad, and apologizing over and over.. which got me nowwhere
    Of course it didn't, girls don't like this crap anymore then they like you showing that you can't control yourself. I'm telling you, apologize and move on to the next girl. Learn from your mistakes on this one so you don't make them again next time.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by SprinterOne
    Of course it didn't, girls don't like this crap anymore then they like you showing that you can't control yourself. I'm telling you, apologize and move on to the next girl. Learn from your mistakes on this one so you don't make them again next time.
    agreed.

  19. #19
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    i controlled myself fine, it was just a huge yellin incident... which apparantly now to find out she dated some guy who hit her alot, so now i feel like im being punished for some other asshole... i so wanna make it up to her even if we dont get back together, i dont like treatin anyone that way

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    i controlled myself fine, it was just a huge yellin incident
    Uhm.........

  21. #21
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    u dont have many friends do u

  22. #22
    collar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    so last night, i got in a huge dispute in public with her, i was very intoxicated, and i was loud, and yellin... well now she is scared of me, and wants nada to do with me, i care for her alot, and wanna change, i even promised to stop drinkin period...which isnt hard, bc i dont drink alot now anyway... now my question is this, do you guys hold stuff ppl do when they are drunk against them, i dont mean cheatin, but if someones an asshole or something when they are drunk, do u not blow it off, bc they are drunk or do u hold grudges. i thought she would be ok with it bc i was driunk.. i know its wrong, and it is something id never do sober at all...
    i believe alcohol brings out the real nature of ppl...
    you might have made a mistake but i know alot of ppl ..
    that dont give other ppl a chance after they have done something wrong when their drunk...
    cause they see their real nature and how they are when their drunk...

    but i hope it works out for you and somehow you can prove yourself to her...
    i guess you should talk to her and tell her you can prove yourself to her but i do think she might not forgive you..

    goodluck

  23. #23
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    it would all depend on what you screamed at her , if it were somthing cruel then theres a reason to have a semi grudge, she might be pissed for you being insensative. but IMO it will blow over just give it a few days if not a week. they always come back around..Just send her some roses..

    J/k

    goodluck
    ~dv~

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    after it was all over, i was on my knees outside her car tryin to get her to not be mad, and apologizing over and over.. which got me nowwhere

    And IMO girls do not like to be begged at all they. say thay do but they dont. most like to be handled in confidence..

    ide never beg a chick for anything ever. ide just say im sorry for what ever i done Maybee give her a rose and move on for a few days. chances are shell call you back , believe it...
    Last edited by dirtyvegas; 09-09-2005 at 07:33 AM.

  25. #25
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    yeah i will never beg chick
    thats crazy....

  26. #26
    SwoleCat is offline AR Hall of Fame
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    after it was all over, i was on my knees outside her car tryin to get her to not be mad, and apologizing over and over.. which got me nowwhere
    Whoa, now she KNOWS she has the upper hand!



    ~SC~

  27. #27
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    ...........alcohol has the unenviable quality of bringing out the true nature of your personality by erasing your usual inhibitions. That's why we get Happy drunks, sad drunks, agressive drunks, fighting drunks, etc.
    If you tend to get loud and agressive when you drink, my advice is - don't drink at all. It;s not the end of the world - there are other intoxicants which are kinder to your personality.
    I never could understand why alcohol, which causes untold societal headaches, health problems, addiction, etc. is legal and a fairly benign intoxicant like marijuana is illegal. Seems it should be the other way around.
    Every society around the world has its own preferred intoxicant - it is universal. The trick is getting one which will wreak the least possible havoc on the individual and the society which embraces it.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by chest6
    depends. there is never an exception for cheating..if she cheats and alcohol is involved i will just get more mad. In this circumstance I think she should forgive you. Thats a little strange she is afraid of you..how long have yall been together??
    im not trying to hijack or be an ass. but are u saying if she is drunk and cheats you will just get more mad or did i misunderstand you.

    to answer the other ques just do what i did. i stopped drinking and it is so easy to avoid an argument when ur sober.

  29. #29
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    I'm with SC on this one. Even though you were yelling at her like a woman then kissed her ass after trying to make it up. She's in control now. You blew it bro. One thing I've have learn over the years is that you can NEVER win a verbal fight with a woman. What you have to learn to do is control yourself and be a gentleman. Be calm, speak with a calm but determined voice and tone. Yelling will never work. And NEVER, NEVER kill them with kindness. They will see you as a big vanilla puss. Those big muscle don't mean shit if the 110 lb woman has control over you. I bet she See's you as a cage gorilla and she holds they key now. Hold your ground, be a man and stop apologizing. Whats done, is done. And don't be calling her 100 times a day either.

  30. #30
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    Depends on what you said bro. Sometimes we just say stupid shit when we are drunk, but sometimes the "truth" comes out. Like, "I'm not really turned on by your cottage cheese ass baby"...That kinda thing.

    Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that some things are easier to forgive than others...mainly personal things or matters of the heart.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtyvegas
    And IMO girls do not like to be begged at all they. say thay do but they dont. most like to be handled in confidence..

    ide never beg a chick for anything ever. ide just say im sorry for what ever i done Maybee give her a rose and move on for a few days. chances are shell call you back , believe it...
    Agreed.

    also deca ... your thread title should say 'an asshole', asshole, instead of a asshole, asshole. OK. Good.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck of Death
    ...........alcohol has the unenviable quality of bringing out the true nature of your personality by erasing your usual inhibitions.
    exactly, I'd say you're just an ace hole.

  33. #33
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    My girl got drunk a few months ago and got in a FIGHT with some chick over nothing. Then when the bouncer got rough with her, I got rough with him and and we all tussled. It was stupid and high-schoolish and I was mad at her for a week. She promised to not let it happen again and it hasn't, but I'll never forget that sh!t.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by edmen2
    im not trying to hijack or be an ass. but are u saying if she is drunk and cheats you will just get more mad or did i misunderstand you.
    Yes..I said I will get more mad. She knows how she is when shes drunk and drinking just makes me think thats what she wants. I hardly ever drink, but if I do I can still control myself. She has a history of doing things she has regretted when shes drunk before me and I just tell her you know what you're getting yourself into when you drink. She always blames it on the alcohol and why not just stop then continue to blame it like that? I always tell her you know what your doing when your drunk, so if she were to do that..that must be what she wants. I don't think cheating if alcohol is involved is an excuse any more than if you're sober.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    u dont have many friends do u
    LOL, why, because I am not telling you what you want to hear?

    Look, the point is you did not control yourself. Getting drunk and yelling is not self control. If you don't care to admit it, fine, just let me know so I can quit posting the same thing over and over on this thread. But you obviously know you did something wrong otherwise you wouldn't have posted it. Don't worry man, we've all done stupid stuff when it comes to women/dating, just learn from it and move on. If you really feel bad, give her a short apology (no begging, pleading, crying, etc.).

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Decadbal
    so last night, i got in a huge dispute in public with her, i was very intoxicated, and i was loud, and yellin... well now she is scared of me, and wants nada to do with me, i care for her alot, and wanna change, i even promised to stop drinkin period...which isnt hard, bc i dont drink alot now anyway... now my question is this, do you guys hold stuff ppl do when they are drunk against them, i dont mean cheatin, but if someones an asshole or something when they are drunk, do u not blow it off, bc they are drunk or do u hold grudges. i thought she would be ok with it bc i was driunk.. i know its wrong, and it is something id never do sober at all...


    yea, i blow it off. People say some mean shit, my wife almost left me because i would get drunk and act vulgar in front of other people. it just takes them a few days to cool fdown. she will forgive you bro. Just remember dont drink if ya cant conotrol it. i quit for her and we are living very happily. GL man



    Edit: Always remember though being drunk isnt an excuse. it can be only 1 time and thats it. No reason for there to be another time! If you love someone or care for them you shouldnt treat them that way whether you are drunk or not. It happens, but if they care for you as much as you do them, then you will be ok if thats the case.
    Last edited by towup; 09-09-2005 at 11:12 AM.

  37. #37
    IBdmfkr's Avatar
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    Don't cry.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Whoa, now she KNOWS she has the upper hand!



    ~SC~

    SC makes a great point!!!!! Many times as men we fall into their trap and begin over apologizing and letting them know they have the upper hand........ Remember that when we get mad at them they just bring up the shit we did and get us to back down and let it go............ Point is women are always playing these games and ya gotta watch for the signs.......... Good luck bro

  39. #39
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    my girl always forgives me even tho sometimes she shouldnt..lol.. just read what happend the last time. in my "Saturday night" post

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by SwoleCat
    Whoa, now she KNOWS she has the upper hand!



    ~SC~

    Your right its not a good idea. But, when Ive been a huge ahole, ive had to grovel a little. Made her feel in control for a couple days. But then you just ignore her for a couple and things are back to normal..

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