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  1. #1
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    Smile Men and Women two worlds apart!!

    Any of these ring true??

    NICKNAMES
     If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
    If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
     
    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller,and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
     Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
     A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
     A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
     
     SUCCESS
     A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
     
    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
     
    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,answer the phone,read a book, and get the post.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

     NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
     Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

      OFFSPRING
     
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


    What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.
    What a man hears:
    C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW

  2. #2
    Full Intensity's Avatar
    Full Intensity is offline Anabolic Member
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    LMAO! any more of these jokes and i'm bound to get slapped heheh

  3. #3
    PaPaPumP's Avatar
    PaPaPumP is offline Retired Moderator
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    Wow, that was funny as shit. Good one bro.

  4. #4
    CYCLEON Guest
    that was so true as to be scary!

  5. #5
    primodonna is offline Female Member
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    scaredy-cat

  6. #6
    CYCLEON Guest
    meow

  7. #7
    primodonna is offline Female Member
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    i can take that 2 ways...and i prefer to take it the second way or else i would have to do some more name-calling

  8. #8
    SHOT's Avatar
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    aww shit lol.....good post bro....

  9. #9
    Sicilian30's Avatar
    Sicilian30 is offline Respected Member
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    Okay I am askin to get bashed here by the females, (maybe I like the abuse or something?), but full there is some truth behind the joke there man.. all I am sayin... espeically the one about Sucess and men and woman.. Okay go ahead bash me..

  10. #10
    dane26's Avatar
    dane26 is offline Retired Moderator
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  11. #11
    ptbyjason Guest
    LMFAO, good one man. That was great.

  12. #12
    baby mac's Avatar
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    LMAO!! good post bro.

  13. #13
    arthurb999's Avatar
    arthurb999 is offline Anabolic Member
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    So true... bump

  14. #14
    StrongChick's Avatar
    StrongChick is offline Female Member
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    I should Hit you for that post, but you may like it! And, Hell, You did make me laugh!

  15. #15
    dzlx is offline Junior Member
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    Heheh n1

  16. #16
    juicehoe's Avatar
    juicehoe is offline Anabolic Member
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    funny, but this is from 2001

  17. #17
    Pale Horse's Avatar
    Pale Horse is offline F.I.L.F.
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    Old post but ALL still hold water! My first question to God if I make it to Heavan when I ask about women will be WHY?

  18. #18
    inheritmylife's Avatar
    inheritmylife is offline Anabolic Member
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    Its funny because its true.

  19. #19
    Cali's Avatar
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    LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....

  20. #20
    juicehoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cali
    LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....
    lol oh my...

  21. #21
    Cali's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by juicehoe
    lol oh my...

    LOL~shouldn't have shared that?

  22. #22
    inheritmylife's Avatar
    inheritmylife is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cali
    LOL~shouldn't have shared that?

    This is one of the things that makes women irresistable. Smooth skin, soft hair, great smell, mmm mmm. What good is a girl if she isnt a little girly?

  23. #23
    rugbyking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Billy Boy
    Any of these ring true??


    *NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    *Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    they never look as good when you wake up especially if you were drinking the night before

  24. #24
    Lavinco's Avatar
    Lavinco is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cali
    LOL I might have to admit to having 337 items in my bathroom even.... Think I have 5 or 6 different kinds of body soap in the shower alone, then there's the shampoos and conditioners....

    LOL I blah have blah, blah, blah in my bathroom blah, blah, blah 5 or 6 blah, blah, blah body blah in the shower alone, blah, blah, blah

  25. #25
    decadbal's Avatar
    decadbal is offline Banned
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    hahaha, settin a low standerd lav...

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