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Thread: Funny Stuff

  1. #1
    silverfox's Avatar
    silverfox is offline Retired Moderator
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    Funny Stuff

    Enjoy!


    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter
    of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a
    true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for
    sure....

    Dear Sir:

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
    3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
    accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following
    details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone
    on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found
    that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be
    slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I
    decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to
    the side of the building on the sixth floor.

    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel
    out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
    holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135
    lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I
    lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say,
    I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of
    the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an
    equal, impressive speed.

    This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar
    bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
    fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

    Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to
    hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience a great deal
    of pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
    and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the
    bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my
    weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the
    building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up.

    This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
    lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change
    slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen
    my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three
    vertebrae were cracked.

    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in
    pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let
    go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey
    back down onto me.

    This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.

  2. #2
    David B.'s Avatar
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    Re: Funny Stuff

    Originally posted by eye_candy
    Enjoy!


    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter
    of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is a
    true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for
    sure....
    Actually, that's a vaudeville routine made famous by the British comic Gerard Hoffnung.

    --dnb

  3. #3
    silverfox's Avatar
    silverfox is offline Retired Moderator
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    I just cut and paste what someone mailed me, i thought he sounded too stupid to be true

  4. #4
    DC24's Avatar
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    bwhaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, poor dude.

  5. #5
    Billy Boy's Avatar
    Billy Boy is offline Retired Moderator
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    Seen it before but still worth a read and a laugh

  6. #6
    Full Intensity's Avatar
    Full Intensity is offline Anabolic Member
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    There is no way that is a true story.

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