Anabolics
Search More Than 6,000,000 Posts
Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    FreakMonster is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    30

    "I never thought I'd be giving an orang-uan a hand job every morning"

    Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore".

    Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo,has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.

    The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang's, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up, and it's easier to collect the sperm.

    Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.

    "I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first. "As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.

    Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr.Binatang emerged again.

    Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..."

    Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.

    "Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.

    Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.

    "They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.

    Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.

    "The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."

    "As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."

    How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.

    "It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be bothered to engage in real sex."

    by Kway Png

  2. #2
    EXCESS's Avatar
    EXCESS is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    CANADA
    Posts
    4,450

    Re: "I never thought I'd be giving an orang-uan a hand job every morning"

    Originally posted by FreakMonster
    Binatang bin Goncang
    Oh great, now everybody knows Papapump's real name!!!

  3. #3
    Full Intensity's Avatar
    Full Intensity is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Toronto, Canada
    Posts
    3,281
    where do u find this shit LOL

  4. #4
    PaPaPumP's Avatar
    PaPaPumP is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Outside your bedroom wind
    Posts
    4,470

    Re: Re: "I never thought I'd be giving an orang-uan a hand job every morning"

    Originally posted by EXCESS


    Oh great, now everybody knows Papapump's real name!!!

    It's on Donkey Kong...you're next!!!!

  5. #5
    EXCESS's Avatar
    EXCESS is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    CANADA
    Posts
    4,450
    LOL! Ewww...

  6. #6
    baby mac's Avatar
    baby mac is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    164
    Just what exactly would the qualifications be for this job? That dude has a degree and now he beats off animals every morning.

  7. #7
    sp33dg33k's Avatar
    sp33dg33k is offline Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Canada Eh!
    Posts
    533
    Originally posted by baby mac
    That dude has a degree and now he beats off animals every morning.
    LOL stay in school!

  8. #8
    arthurb999's Avatar
    arthurb999 is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,715
    He should be looking for another job. Also probably leave this one off his resume....

    1995-1999 Singapore Zoo, Animal Masterbator
    Responsibilities Include:
    - Jerking off animals to collect sperm
    - Giving the prized polar bear blow jobs every monring
    - ...

  9. #9
    FreakMonster is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    30
    I found the article at www.studentmagazine.com

  10. #10
    dane26's Avatar
    dane26 is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Zoo-York
    Posts
    2,532
    nobody has the right to complain about their jobs now! it could always be worse.

    did anybody notice that he mentioned that the orangatang liked to be kissed beforehand? does he do it????

  11. #11
    ECKO 747's Avatar
    ECKO 747 is offline Associate Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Ecko Now in Ontario
    Posts
    398
    I thought my Job was some what shitty but after reading this post... I will NEVER EVER COMPLAIN about my Job again...Ever!!!
    LOL

  12. #12
    IronFreakX's Avatar
    IronFreakX is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    U.S.A.
    Posts
    8,803

  13. #13
    BG's Avatar
    BG
    BG is offline The Real Deal - AR-Platinum Elite- Hall of Famer
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    19,296
    Ha Ha.

  14. #14
    Demon Deacon's Avatar
    Demon Deacon is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Winston-Salem, NC
    Posts
    2,328
    i dont think its a real story

  15. #15
    bigbrat is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Posts
    3
    thats fing gross!

  16. #16
    clockworks's Avatar
    clockworks is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    2,036
    Quote Originally Posted by Demon Deacon
    i dont think its a real story
    I agree, but still funny as shyte...

  17. #17
    symatech's Avatar
    symatech is offline Retired Moderator
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    not where I want to be
    Posts
    7,546
    it's also old as shit. 2001

  18. #18
    clockworks's Avatar
    clockworks is offline Anabolic Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    2,036
    Quote Originally Posted by symatech
    it's also old as shit. 2001
    (in Homer's voice), "Its new to me!"

  19. #19
    GQSuperman's Avatar
    GQSuperman is offline Banned
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    586

    i actually

    i've actually witnessed, assisted with this...collecting semen from gorillas at teh omaha zoo. talk about a dangerous task..those beasts are 500 pounds of pure muscle...you'd better use lotion let me tell you.

    it's done for species preservation. i went ot grad school and am going into the field of human fertility, but showing interest in exotic and endangered species preservation got me a free trip to africa...where i collected, among other things....ELEPHANT SEMEN.

    this has also gotten me free trips to amsterdam, new zealand, vancouver, quebec...hopefully japan this year as well as all over the US.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •