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  1. #1
    KunipshunFit's Avatar
    KunipshunFit is offline Lounge Lizard
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    Joke The Day *March 6th*

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. ! Do not
    walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside
    me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
    broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

    3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
    going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to
    do it.

    4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you
    aren't getting any.

    5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
    you can't be promoted.

    6. No one is listening until you fart.

    7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
    else.

    8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
    missing a couple of car payments.

    10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
    mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're
    a mile away and you have their shoes.

    11. If at first you don't succeed,! skydiving is not
    for you.

    12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
    Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer
    all day.

    13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
    again,it was probably worth it.

    14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
    anything.

    15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the
    windshield.

    16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

    17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a
    lot of that comes from bad judgment.

    18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
    it in half and put it back in your pocket.

    19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

    20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side
    and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

    21. There are two theories to arguing with women.
    Neither one works.

    22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
    your lips are! moving.

    23. Experience is something you don't get until just
    after you need it.

    24. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get
    slapped on our butt... then things get worse.

    26. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way
    to take it too seriously.

    27. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

  2. #2
    Tankass's Avatar
    Tankass is offline Senior Member
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    Feb 2002
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    New York
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    Good Shit bro...

  3. #3
    Terinox's Avatar
    Terinox is offline The One & Only
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    Nov 2001
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
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    Nice nice! Good shit indeed!

  4. #4
    monstercojones's Avatar
    monstercojones is offline The Anabolic Assassin
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    Dec 2002
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    AnabolicReview.com
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    3,181
    i love jack handy

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