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  1. #1
    Nathan's Avatar
    Nathan is offline Retired Moderator
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    The Insidious Turtle

    The turtle's face is home to an insipid smirk, as if to say, "I, the turtle, am way the fuck better than you." You see, the turtle knows that in the event of a pissed off passer-by, all he has to do is curl up into his hard little shell and wait for the on-coming torrent of fury to blow itself out. That bastard will simply tuck his mother fucking head into his shell and then laugh and laugh as his frustrated attacker tires himself out with little to show for his efforts. What the turtle didn't plan on, however, is chemical warfare. That's right. With technology being what it is today, we no longer have to beat away at the turtle's indestructible shell for hours on end. Rather, we can just gas that asshole out. And then, when its choking on the noxious fumes, we can rabbit punch that fucker in the groin. And, as if that weren't enough, while he's grabbing at his crotch in anguish, we can shove his own feces into his mouth and then plug his nose so that he is forced to swallow his own excrement in order to breath.

    The turtle an unbeatable foe you say? I think not.

  2. #2
    tolinka's Avatar
    tolinka is offline Senior Member
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    Are we talking about Saddam?

  3. #3
    Decoder's Avatar
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    Well what if the turtle goes under water? how do you gas him then?

  4. #4
    partyboynyc is offline Anabolic Member
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    nathan my brother

    it sounds to me like this turtle needs a good assbkicking!!!who the fuck is this clown talking shit like, "oh you can't fuck with me because i have this shell shitface!!".oh no!!!he needs to go!!!this shit talking bastardmust feel the fury like no other.it's time we start telling these fucking turtles, "hey fuck off you hardshelled bastard!we'l lrip out your turtle eyes and skullfuck your turtle ass!"enough is enough!!!

  5. #5
    daem's Avatar
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    did the teenage mutant ninja turtles ever lose to shredder? no...and his technology was far superior to a simple gas...point made, chalk one up for me fools. SNAP

  6. #6
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Re: The Insidious Turtle

    Originally posted by Nathan
    Rather, we can just gas that asshole out. And then, when its choking on the noxious fumes, we can rabbit punch that fucker in the groin.
    The turtle an unbeatable foe you say? I think not.
    Oh, poor, poor misguided Nathan. In your developmental infancy are you still so naive as to believe the mighty turtle actually breathes oxygen?? Perhaps this is something you should have researched more thoroughly before bantering about such claims in the open. Oh I feel for you my friend if in fact you do believe what you spew forth, for the turtles are painstakingly patient in extracting their revenge.

  7. #7
    Got Gear?'s Avatar
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    Lol.. just make sure them turtles can't get their hands on some o that mutagen stuff!

  8. #8
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Re: Re: The Insidious Turtle

    Originally posted by BigGreen


    Oh, poor, poor misguided Nathan. In your developmental infancy are you still so naive as to believe the mighty turtle actually breathes oxygen?? Perhaps this is something you should have researched more thoroughly before bantering about such claims in the open. Oh I feel for you my friend if in fact you do believe what you spew forth, for the turtles are painstakingly patient in extracting their revenge.
    I never specified the actual type of gas though. I had mustard gas inmind. Whether or not you breathe air, and I'm pretty sure that most turtles do breathe air, mustard gas would get all up in your eyes and into your throat and other orifices and there'd pantloads of trouble.

  9. #9
    BigGreen's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: The Insidious Turtle

    Originally posted by Nathan


    I never specified the actual type of gas though. I had mustard gas inmind. Whether or not you breathe air, and I'm pretty sure that most turtles do breathe air, mustard gas would get all up in your eyes and into your throat and other orifices and there'd pantloads of trouble.
    Man, you just don't get it, do you?? Know thine enemy....turtles put mustard gas on just about everything they eat!! Have you actually ever seen a turtle in his day-to-day operations, not just the phony pet store bullshit that serves as a front to confuse and befuddle their enemies? I'm with you, they need to fall, and the sooner the better...but we gotta go about this in the right way.

  10. #10
    Nathan's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: The Insidious Turtle

    Originally posted by BigGreen


    Man, you just don't get it, do you?? Know thine enemy....turtles put mustard gas on just about everything they eat!! Have you actually ever seen a turtle in his day-to-day operations, not just the phony pet store bullshit that serves as a front to confuse and befuddle their enemies? I'm with you, they need to fall, and the sooner the better...but we gotta go about this in the right way.
    I had a pet turtle by the name of Sherman for quite a fwe years. Eventually, he got too big for his aquarium so we sent him to get released inthwild in Florida along with some other turtles. I also had a pet snapping turtle for a while when it was a baby but I had to let him go for obvious reasons. Man, those things could bite, even when babies. I just though you might want to know all that. In fact, I recommend you write all that down.

  11. #11
    Full Intensity's Avatar
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    Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The Insidious Turtle

    Originally posted by Nathan
    Man, those things could bite, even when babies. I just though you might want to know all that. In fact, I recommend you write all that down.
    Nat what exactly did it bite down on

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