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  1. #1
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    Basic Rules For Driving In The Toronto Area

    I am sure that this applies to more then just Toronto since I have seen this all over the place. But I thought I would post it for you guys/gals to get a kick out of it.

    BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN THE TORONTO AREA
    1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Toronto driver
    never uses them.

    2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you
    and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody
    else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

    3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
    you have of getting hit.

    4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
    one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended.

    5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
    Ontario is a no-fault insurance province and the other guy doesn't have
    anything to lose.

    6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
    your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
    pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch
    your legs.

    7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good
    way to scare people entering the highway.

    8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and
    are apparently not enforceable in Toronto during rush hour

    9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
    move over doesn't mean that a Toronto driver flashing his high beams
    behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

    10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
    someone changing a tire.

    11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Toronto is the home of the high-speed
    slalom driving thanks to the Provincial Highway Department, which puts
    potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on
    their toes.

    12. It is traditional in Toronto to honk your horn at cars that don't
    move the instant the light turns green

    13. Remember that the goal of every Toronto driver is to get there first
    by whatever means necessary.

    14. In the Toronto area, 'flipping someone the bird' is considered
    polite Toronto salute. This gesture should always be returned.

    15. At least four more cars should proceed on a left after the light
    turns red. If you fail to do so, you will be rear-ended.

    16. The highways can also be used to dispose of any messy garbage that
    may be lying around. These items are better off cluttering the side of
    the road then cluttering your car's interior where they may distract you
    and cause an accident.

    17. If someone cuts you off you should return the gesture by speeding
    around them on the right, pulling in front of them and slamming on the
    brakes. This works even better when your car is of lesser value.

    18. Never make eye contact with another driver when passing through
    Scarborough. Nuff said! [/B]

  2. #2
    Babyweight's Avatar
    Babyweight is offline Female Member
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    I follow #4 daily..

    Babyweight

  3. #3
    groverman1's Avatar
    groverman1 is offline Cross Dressing Member
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    I hope your not driving the engine.

  4. #4
    juicehoe's Avatar
    juicehoe is offline Anabolic Member
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    LMAO most of those are the same here.... i live in "god's waiting room", so the oldster's must have a copy of this

  5. #5
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
    Money Boss Hustla is offline Retired Moderator
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    Shredz are you Canadian!?

  6. #6
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Money Boss Hustla
    Shredz are you Canadian!?
    Yes bro, from the Toronto area!!

  7. #7
    Shredz is offline Respected Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by groverman1
    I hope your not driving the engine.
    Of course I do bro, just gotta make sure you keep the lights and sirens on all the time. Expecially when we are headin' back from calls to watch the rest of the hockey game!!

  8. #8
    Tedmax195's Avatar
    Tedmax195 is offline Member
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    Just moved to To in August and i gotta tell yah, i have become a very different driver compared to the way i used to drive up North. What a wake up call driving in this city.

  9. #9
    Money Boss Hustla's Avatar
    Money Boss Hustla is offline Retired Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shredz
    Yes bro, from the Toronto area!!
    I just remember you saying that Philly is going to bring the cup home...so I thought you were in Philly.

    Go Flyers!

  10. #10
    D00fy's Avatar
    D00fy is offline Anabolic Member
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    good info ,i live in south florida, hurricane season a bitch, rain everyday.......

    here is some important SHELTER tips while staying indoors

    1)Lots of Weed,Get High,Watch Tv High,Talk on the phone High, Workout High,Eat High,Jerk Off HIGH,

    2) Lots of liquids since you get dehydrate from weed

    3) A good Selection of DVDs or for some of you oldies "VHS CASSETTE TAPE"

    4) Lots of Good food,consider it a cheat day

    5) A Bitch to **** after dvds get bored

    6) Shotgun ,when the tornado is over and you see ****ers trying to robb you

    7) An emergency Joint,just in case u smoked all your weed,u have hidden stash

  11. #11
    D00fy's Avatar
    D00fy is offline Anabolic Member
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    oh **** me **** me ,i thought it was a tornado thread

    u obvisously know i smoke to much fking weed haha

  12. #12
    navydevildoc's Avatar
    navydevildoc is offline Associate Member
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    ****, this could be SoCal too...

  13. #13
    juicehoe's Avatar
    juicehoe is offline Anabolic Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by D00fy
    oh **** me **** me ,i thought it was a tornado thread

    u obvisously know i smoke to much fking weed haha
    brutal

  14. #14
    ChiTownTommy's Avatar
    ChiTownTommy is offline Senior Member
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    for the most part it sounds like your driving in Chicago,

  15. #15
    TPAK's Avatar
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    I had to spend a week in Toronto for work. The f'ing traffic was crazy. I left on Friday night at rush hour. Took me 4.5 hours to get to Niagra Falls. Talk about road rage. **** I was about to flip out. I remember seeing the traffic signs and not a single person was even close to what they said. Crazy place!

  16. #16
    Full Intensity's Avatar
    Full Intensity is offline Anabolic Member
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    ahahah those are all sooo true. Driving over here is nuts, its like an adrenaline rush every time. AND RETURN MY PM's MOFO! ( <-- that was for shredz) lol

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