goodbye guys

**map200uk** · 11-22-2004, 09:09 PM

hey guys,

this is a quick message to everyone that knows me, and everyone that doesnt. Ive been a member here for a while, and i love ar, but i can no longer come here, ive got serious problems in real life, and i have to cut steroids out of my life, and if i keep coming here i wont be able to

im not after sympathy as anyone who knows me will know, but ive been going through some ****ed up times for the past 3-4 years, and gear use isnt helping, it makes me worse, and i know this is incredibly dumb/noone will care, but i was in hospital the other day, i overdosed on narcotics, by mistake, but simply because i wanna escape everything.

i hope that i can sort things out, and eventually get back on gear, but its not a choice atm, ill endup dead if i do so... anyway

take care bros, ill be back eventually

big map

**houseofpain** · 11-22-2004, 09:10 PM

good luck bro
~HOP

**P Rock** · 11-22-2004, 09:11 PM

get yourself some help and take care of yourself...good luck bro

**mass junkie** · 11-22-2004, 09:13 PM

A very commendible decision on your part...you gotta take care of #1...
we'll be here upon your return

**MASStermind** · 11-22-2004, 09:16 PM

WHAT ARE THE problems and how many cycles have you done bro? Dont scare me and just leave. Give us a post telling us what happened so no one else does the same.

Spyder · 11-22-2004, 09:21 PM

do what you gotta do bro.
like mass said, take care of yourself first.
good luck!

**map200uk** · 11-22-2004, 09:22 PM

MASStermind, ive done enough cycles, i wont go into details, ive done some stupid cycles, due to my mindframe at the time of 'i dont care what happens to me', but ive done enough cycles as it is, and i already suffered from depression, im constantly paranoid/worried/anxious, and gear just makes it worse.

recently ive found myself taking to using recreational drugs, just to escape the sad reality that is my life, i cant make people see how bad it really is from what i say, but i hate my life. What i can say is, if you are depressed, dont use gear, i already knew i shouldnt use gear, but i planned on competing next year for the first time ever, but i wont be able to now by the looks of things

its not just the gear, its my whole mindset, my depression etc, the gear just makes it worse, and as for narcotics, ive been going out recentlly to try and get away from reality, and using drugs when we're out, and i found myself in hospital the other day due to an overdose.

im upset as can be, i dont wanna stop using gear/stop coming here, but im just getting worse each day. The sad thing is, im worried that ill endup small and all my hard work wont show

but regardless of this

good luck bros

map

**statuZ** · 11-22-2004, 09:28 PM

Originally Posted by map200uk

MASStermind, ive done enough cycles, i wont go into details, ive done some stupid cycles, due to my mindframe at the time of 'i dont care what happens to me', but ive done enough cycles as it is, and i already suffered from depression, im constantly paranoid/worried/anxious, and gear just makes it worse.

recently ive found myself taking to using recreational drugs, just to escape the sad reality that is my life, i cant make people see how bad it really is from what i say, but i hate my life. What i can say is, if you are depressed, dont use gear, i already knew i shouldnt use gear, but i planned on competing next year for the first time ever, but i wont be able to now by the looks of things

its not just the gear, its my whole mindset, my depression etc, the gear just makes it worse, and as for narcotics, ive been going out recentlly to try and get away from reality, and using drugs when we're out, and i found myself in hospital the other day due to an overdose.

im upset as can be, i dont wanna stop using gear/stop coming here, but im just getting worse each day. The sad thing is, im worried that ill endup small and all my hard work wont show

but regardless of this

good luck bros

map

its still in your heart bro, take a picture and make sure you keep it somewehre that you can prove to yourself that when you put your mind to it, you can do anything bro. stuff like this really makes me think if what im doing by going on this site is the right thing, and i dont know the answer for that. I just want to say that i hope you stay safe man, and if you ever need help we are all here if you just need to ask us a quick question, just pop in and ask and then head out again man. i hope you get better and healthier. Try and find a girl that should do the trick!

**FRANK WHITE** · 11-22-2004, 09:30 PM

Best of luck to you bro. Wish you the best and hope you'll be back soon.

**map200uk** · 11-22-2004, 09:33 PM

Originally Posted by statuZ

its still in your heart bro, take a picture and make sure you keep it somewehre that you can prove to yourself that when you put your mind to it, you can do anything bro. stuff like this really makes me think if what im doing by going on this site is the right thing, and i dont know the answer for that. I just want to say that i hope you stay safe man, and if you ever need help we are all here if you just need to ask us a quick question, just pop in and ask and then head out again man. i hope you get better and healthier. Try and find a girl that should do the trick!

Thanks man, and you are doing the right thing coming here, ar is the best site for this kind of stuff, my situation is different from most peoples, im seriously ****ed up, else id be fine, you'll be fine bro.

as to the find a girl, i try and have tried but its so much effort, and every girl i meet seems to be a moron, or turn out to be a **** when i speak to them the next day, after them previously saying how nice i am. anyway i cant change things, i think maybe im destined to not meet a decent girl? and if that's so, well nevermind

but once i get things sorted out, ill deffo be back , 100% bigger and better (well i hope bigger:P), but who knows, im currently at uni, been here for 2mths now, and its hard, noone understands what i do, noone knows i use gear etc, and if i told them theyd think im a freak and not understand, so i have noone to talk to really.

map

**decadbal** · 11-22-2004, 09:33 PM

good luck bro, remember your more important that what any asshole will think about you or say, so be strong, and youll be fine.. your sstrong enough to make this decison i have faith youll make it... good luck to you and god bless.

**statuZ** · 11-22-2004, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by map200uk

Thanks man, and you are doing the right thing coming here, ar is the best site for this kind of stuff, my situation is different from most peoples, im seriously ****ed up, else id be fine, you'll be fine bro.

as to the find a girl, i try and have tried but its so much effort, and every girl i meet seems to be a moron, or turn out to be a **** when i speak to them the next day, after them previously saying how nice i am. anyway i cant change things, i think maybe im destined to not meet a decent girl? and if that's so, well nevermind

but once i get things sorted out, ill deffo be back , 100% bigger and better (well i hope bigger:P), but who knows, im currently at uni, been here for 2mths now, and its hard, noone understands what i do, noone knows i use gear etc, and if i told them theyd think im a freak and not understand, so i have noone to talk to really.

map

im not religious, but i think "god" has a weird way of working things out, one day you will find a girl man, one day, and it will probably be the least expecting moment. hell what am i saying i dont have a gf, but i have high hopes! stay safe bro thats the most important think, and last thing, never think for a second about suicide. sorry i said it, but i had to say it. once again were here bro.

**GORILA-UNIT** · 11-22-2004, 09:48 PM

yo brotha i'll the best luck to u my man, I feel for u cause im goin through some serious sh*t in my life and i could tell u keep u head up n do wat u gotta do to survive. In this world only the strong survives my fav quote from DMX "to live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in suffering

**SwoleCat** · 11-22-2004, 10:07 PM

The blessing here is that you have realized this, as many DON'T and the ramifications are far worse!

Kudos for stepping up to the plate!

~SC~

***BajanBastard*** · 11-22-2004, 10:31 PM

I hope things work out for you bro and hopefully when you are back on track we'll can see you again.

**workdude** · 11-22-2004, 11:11 PM

Good luck bro....I hope everything works out for you....

**KGBnine** · 11-22-2004, 11:14 PM

Good luck brotha. Do what you gotta do to clear things up and we'll see ya on the other side

**gya321** · 11-22-2004, 11:19 PM

Good luck bro. It sounds like your a smart guy, just by doing this. The first step is the hardest. It will work out. You can always get your gains back and worry about juice later.

**DevilsDeity** · 11-23-2004, 06:54 AM

be safe muh man

**Maraxus** · 11-23-2004, 06:56 AM

good luck with everything bro!

**Elysium** · 11-23-2004, 07:06 AM

Good luck bro, with everything. Shame to see you go! Bye!

**needmorestrength** · 11-23-2004, 07:40 AM

Hey dude that sucks!! Best of luck.. Keep at the gym naturally if you can! Try and stay outta trouble! see ya soon

**jonnytour** · 11-23-2004, 08:01 AM

Proud to see that some can still admit that they have a problem. You are a strong man. That strength will always be with you...nomatter how much physical gains you may lose. Take care of your self and get the help you need. I am sure we will see you back. Good luck, and be safe!

**Commando_Barbi** · 11-23-2004, 10:39 AM

Map you are in my prayers. If you ever need a semi normal female to talk to you can email me any time. You've made the right choice. Work on healing....and the rest will fall back into place.

Big hug for you

C.B.

**Monkeytown** · 11-23-2004, 11:29 AM

Best of luck Bro!!

**Benches505** · 11-23-2004, 11:59 AM

Take care of yourself first and the rest will sort itself out in time. And don't sweat the gains so much since I can tell you from first hand experience that once you already got big it is easier to get big again due to muscle memory...Juice or no juice.

**Rob** · 11-23-2004, 12:56 PM

Im in sort of the same boat as you..im also in Uni, tough work to do, I came here all alone from home w/o any friends, and yes i do gear too and nobody knows. It is tough at times, trying to inject yourself in the bathroom stale when someone is taking a sh*t next to you. I guess i can see somewhat where your coming from

**Blown_SC** · 11-23-2004, 01:00 PM

I'm glad to hear you know when to step away....
You come first... get straight, and healthy, and come back to us...
Best regards bro...

**Lgarm18** · 11-23-2004, 03:33 PM

What can I say that hasn't already been said....god bless.

**Prime** · 11-23-2004, 05:02 PM

take care bro. if you still wanna talk bodybuilding but not gear there are a few natty boards around you could look for.

***the original jason*** · 11-23-2004, 06:09 PM

but once i get things sorted out, ill deffo be back , 100% bigger and better (well i hope bigger:P), but who knows, im currently at uni, been here for 2mths now, and its hard, noone understands what i do, noone knows i use gear etc, and if i told them theyd think im a freak and not understand, so i have noone to talk to really.

bro im in uk, recovering addict, and obviously understand a thing or two about juicing, so ur welcome to pm me ur number and ill give you a call and have a chat, sorry i seen this too late, hope things pan out for you, i read your posts and know how you feel as i been there myself, but there is a way bro is all i can say, the offers there either way

peace

**ducati996** · 11-23-2004, 06:50 PM

Good luck bro. I think I can say this for everyone on here. We're here for you.

**map200uk** · 11-23-2004, 07:14 PM

guys you're all too nice to me, i dont deserve any thoughts at all,
ive dony my best to help everyone during my stay here, but thats all, my lifes ****ed up, and im not sure how to solve things, but i dont wanna moan, but i do honestly appreciate this, i shouldnt even be on ar now, but i love it here