Three FUNNY Jokes, JUST For Ya'll

[Terinox]

Some jokes for my AR bro's. Hope you enjoy.


The "Ten Best Things to Say" if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen..."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap, like they raved about in that Time Management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! I Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on our Mission Statement and invisioning a new paradigm."
6. "The coffee machine is broken..."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
3. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot...."

And, for the #1 Best Thing to Say If Caught Sleeping at Your Desk...

1. "....in Jesus' name. Amen."

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Patrick Roy, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was
showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded
Colorado Avalanche flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity,
Pat, " said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Patrick felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a bright Blue and White sidewalk, a 50 ft. tall flagpole flying an enormous Toronto Maple Leafs flag, and in every window a Maple Leafs logo. In the front yard was a sign that said, "Welcome to Hogtown." Pat looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I won three Stanley Cups, more awards than I can remember and I am the winningest goalie in NHL history." God said, "So what do you want to know, Pat?" "Well, why does Curtis Joseph get a better house than me?" God chuckled and said "Pat, that's not Curtis' house,.....it's mine."

GO LEAFS GO!!!

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A Drunk Man Farts in Bed!

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 am. His wife is sleeping and he's trying to sneak into bed. He's lying in bed for a few minutes and farts. His wife wakes up and asks, "What in the world was that?"

He replies, "Touchdown - I'm winning, 7 nothing."

She thinks to herself, "I'm gonna fix him." Then she lets one loose.

He yells at her, "What was that?"

She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."

Now he thinks, "I'm gonna give her a doozy." He's lying there for about 10
minutes
trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

[Terinox]

Oh come on, only 14 ppl viewed this??? It's fucken hilarious!!!

BUMP!!!

[maguilagorilla]

that fart one was good...... like in the 3rd grade!

[symatech]

Originally posted by maguilagorilla
that fart one was good...... like in the 3rd grade!

LOL my thoughts exactly....but i like the 1st one!

[footballcat]

Fart one was funny

[tatty]

I need to try those lines at work when I "accidently" put my head down.

[tatty]

LOL, just read the fart one...hahahah

[Tobey]

Those were some ggod ones bro. I particurally like story # 2.
Thanks, I needed a chuckle tonight.
IC

[skid]

Originally posted by Terinox
Oh come on, only 14 ppl viewed this??? It's fucken hilarious!!!

BUMP!!!

ok ok ok bro ... I read it 10 times just to get your hit count up, and my reply is gonna put it back at the top of the list ... happy?

[Terinox]

ROFL

hope you all enjoyed it!