Androgens and personality shift

**Mike Dura** · 05-11-2007, 01:02 PM

Androgens and becoming a dick head more like it. Since adding masterone prop to my test prop I've noticed a change in my personality. Among other things, for example, the front page of newsday (LI, NY) was a story about how a dead man was found shot to death on his front lawn with his child asleep on his chest. That's sad and usually I'd get moist eyed but I felt nothing but the abstract thought, "that's sad."

I also feel more self-centered, focused, horny....hard on as hard as a nail and supreme confidence. In the gym, I'm generally asocial (as opposed to anti-social) and there it's especially all about me and my training. I feel aggressive and irritable and prone to sudden moments of profound impatience when someone is in my way (than I have to resort to civilized thinking - other members have the right to use the equiptment even if they are doing presses while pretending to do cable cross overs).

My asocial behavior is generating animosity from this one attractive latina who's a sale-rep at Ballys and she, in turn, seems preoccupied with undermining me with the other staff members who fall in line into the status-quo like sheep. All based on hearsay. I guess she's not used to being ignored or maybe I'm putting on a non-verbal arrogant air. I feel indifferent to it and continue to be air-tight non-responsive as if she doesn't exist. After the fact, it occurred to me that I'm actually playing a game and it's almost like an experiment in sociology - it explores the question "what happens when an introvert enters the extraverted gym and trains for hours like an animal. ANswer: misinterpretations and resentment.

In a less trivial sphere, my girlfriend has been moody lately and she gets upset at the drop of a pin - probably due to the stress of a major life adjusment. She's moving away from her close-knit family and in with me (oh oh). Although I act empathetic and nice I feel indifferent to her moodiness. Last night she continuously cut me off and I snapped (inwardly). Outwardly, I politely told her that we need to take turns if we want to communicate. Yet I could feel my chest rising and falling as if in a "fight or flight" response. I chose flight. Then she says, ok then, say something. I told her, "I'm a bit upset and I forgot what I was going to say." I'm tired and I have to get up early.

Although I feel like more of a dick lately, I've never felt better. Thank you masterone! I wonder what it will be like when I add tren ace to the mix.

**muscle_20** · 05-11-2007, 06:50 PM

lol i know how you feel i am all ways like that to an extent good luck when you add the tren .

**Mike Dura** · 05-11-2007, 07:19 PM

Lol. Nice back bro.

Originally Posted by muscle_20

lol i know how you feel i am all ways like that to an extent good luck when you add the tren.

**gooer** · 05-11-2007, 07:24 PM

i definitely feel more aggressive and less compassionate when i'm on a cycle, but i can keep it in check. they turn you into the man, i love it. aside from a little extra screaming at my gf and wanting to beat the shit out of people for the stupidest reasons (not acting on it though) i'm fine.

you have a problem when you start feeling such a false sense of confidence that you do things like get in fights with police officers and punch your best friends in the face repeatedly because they are giving you 'a little smirk' - things which i've first hand seen happen to people on roids.

**Erwin** · 05-12-2007, 05:37 AM

What does your cycle look like right now? From personal experience with tren , if you are feeling these things now (short fused, taking extra to control it) it is going to be even worse on tren than it is now. I have run 6 cycles of various compounds , but tren was the only one my wife ever asked me to drop. Good Luck Bro.-Erwin

**ebjack** · 05-12-2007, 07:20 AM

Starting my own mast/prop cycle on june 1st...lookin forward to it actually.

**Mike Dura** · 05-12-2007, 07:52 PM

I would never punch a friend and I try to be as gentle with my girl as possible because she's a sensitive one. Sometimes I think she's on the androgens - my little Peruvian has mucho passion! Someone has to back down and I learned the hard way, it has to be me, androgens or not. Yep brothers, she wears the pants! Lol.

Originally Posted by gooer

i definitely feel more aggressive and less compassionate when i'm on a cycle, but i can keep it in check. they turn you into the man, i love it. aside from a little extra screaming at my gf and wanting to beat the shit out of people for the stupidest reasons (not acting on it though) i'm fine.

you have a problem when you start feeling such a false sense of confidence that you do things like get in fights with police officers and punch your best friends in the face repeatedly because they are giving you 'a little smirk' - things which i've first hand seen happen to people on roids.

**Mike Dura** · 05-12-2007, 07:55 PM

That so true. I feel like the stereotype of a man when I'm naturally a bit androgenous in my personality. In college, most of my friends were girls because with girls you can talk about feelings and they love that shit! Then, if I'm lucky, I get a little action for the effort so it's a good deal all around.

Originally Posted by gooer

i definitely feel more aggressive and less compassionate when i'm on a cycle, but i can keep it in check. they turn you into the man, i love it. aside from a little extra screaming at my gf and wanting to beat the shit out of people for the stupidest reasons (not acting on it though) i'm fine.

you have a problem when you start feeling such a false sense of confidence that you do things like get in fights with police officers and punch your best friends in the face repeatedly because they are giving you 'a little smirk' - things which i've first hand seen happen to people on roids.

**Mike Dura** · 05-12-2007, 07:57 PM

Yeah, I'm scared of tren for that and other reasons. I don't want to feel like shit as people often do. I'm gonna try tren ace and if I don't like it I'll drop it.

Originally Posted by Erwin

What does your cycle look like right now? From personal experience with tren, if you are feeling these things now (short fused, taking extra to control it) it is going to be even worse on tren than it is now. I have run 6 cycles of various compounds , but tren was the only one my wife ever asked me to drop. Good Luck Bro.-Erwin

**Valac** · 05-12-2007, 11:19 PM

whipped. lol i hate it :'(

**bigtruck07** · 05-13-2007, 03:24 PM

it doesnt affect me at all. as a matter of fact, after iv'e started juicing, im a much more calm, relaxed, confident person

**legobricks** · 05-13-2007, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by bigtruck07

it doesnt affect me at all. as a matter of fact, after iv'e started juicing, im a much more calm, relaxed, confident person

Test, yes. Dbol , a little in touch with my soft side towards women.

now ive tried the OTC sups like pheraplex and Superdrol. Pheraplex it was some of the hardest times trying to contorl my outbursts in which i really could have tryed harder. Superdrol i could control myself better but that pheraplex crap made me want to strangle someone. I just cant wait until i try tren ! LOL, im starting a test E and EQ cycle june 1st and hopefully thatll be awesome! Honestly tho, its about having huge self control, and Mike Dura has it. Letting this go is what the media feeds off of and what makes people think that roids will make you kill people. stupid IMO.

**Mike Dura** · 05-13-2007, 04:56 PM

I try to have self-contral and self-restraint but I could do much better. In fact, I have to do better. I wouldn't call myself a Buddhist but I'm a big fan of Buddhism and I'm inspired by the work of Thich Naht Hahn - a vietnamese monk who recommended for a nobel prize by Martin Luther King. Self-restraint and cultivating gentle moods is a big part of the talk (and the practice). Self control is a noble aspiration.

Originally Posted by legobricks

Test, yes. Dbol , a little in touch with my soft side towards women.

now ive tried the OTC sups like pheraplex and Superdrol. Pheraplex it was some of the hardest times trying to contorl my outbursts in which i really could have tryed harder. Superdrol i could control myself better but that pheraplex crap made me want to strangle someone. I just cant wait until i try tren ! LOL, im starting a test E and EQ cycle june 1st and hopefully thatll be awesome! Honestly tho, its about having huge self control, and Mike Dura has it. Letting this go is what the media feeds off of and what makes people think that roids will make you kill people. stupid IMO.

**tbjake34** · 05-13-2007, 07:49 PM

I notice this to I become very irritable and get pissed over little dumb things. I have learned to control it though. And when I am on dbol I turn into a sensative little bitch.

**D-Money** · 05-13-2007, 09:27 PM

Test definately makes me less patient, more edgey.

**Dobie-BOY** · 05-13-2007, 10:01 PM

Test makes me more calm and gentler. AD makes me snappy and edgy. My current cycle is really making me learn self restraint at a whole new level. One good thing about this is that if you can learn to control yourself while on a cycle which causes you to be more of an asshole than usual, when you are off it makes it alot easier to "be the bigger man" in certain situations. Mike, I totally know how you feel in the gym. I feel the same way, but then sometimes I just wonder if Im being a little paranoid.

**Mike Dura** · 05-14-2007, 06:53 AM

That's a good point. One can misinterpret and it's important to make the distincinction between your perception and what's actually happening. And yeah, learning those skills does make you more skillfull. I suffered ***ression for years and I had to learn to be "metacognitive" where you begin to think about your thinking and then compensate. When your ***ressed, your prone to interpreting neutral stimuli in a negative way - you become hypersensitive. Once you realize this, you can transcend your default interpretations.

Originally Posted by Dobie-BOY

Test makes me more calm and gentler. AD makes me snappy and edgy. My current cycle is really making me learn self restraint at a whole new level. One good thing about this is that if you can learn to control yourself while on a cycle which causes you to be more of an asshole than usual, when you are off it makes it alot easier to "be the bigger man" in certain situations. Mike, I totally know how you feel in the gym. I feel the same way, but then sometimes I just wonder if Im being a little paranoid.

**Property of Steroid.com** · 05-14-2007, 07:46 AM

Feeling more aggressive is a side effect of steroids , whether people wish to admit it or not...acting on it is a different story...that's not a side effect, but rather a choice. When you feel yourself getting worked up and about to get aggressive/violent, you can choose to stop yourself. That's why the feeling of aggression is the side effect, while the physical manifestation of it is a choice. You have an increased libido on steroids also...but having sex isn't the side effect...the feeling of an increased libido is...having sex is the physical manifestation of that feeling.

Just because you can control the physical manifestation of a side effect, doesn't mean it's not a side effect...others (gyno) can't be controlled/chosen , but that doesn't mean they're more or less real.

**Mike Dura** · 05-14-2007, 08:51 AM

Wrong! For me, having sex is a side effect and not a choice! When I get the green light I tap that shit dispite being in a "committed" relationship. Blame it on the androgens! Anyway, research highly supports that we are largely determined (vs. free will). Therefore, it stands to reason.....I'm not to blame!

Originally Posted by Anthony Roberts

Feeling more aggressive is a side effect of steroids , whether people wish to admit it or not...acting on it is a different story...that's not a side effect, but rather a choice. When you feel yourself getting worked up and about to get aggressive/violent, you can choose to stop yourself. That's why the feeling of aggression is the side effect, while the physical manifestation of it is a choice. You have an increased libido on steroids also...but having sex isn't the side effect...the feeling of an increased libido is...having sex is the physical manifestation of that feeling.

Just because you can control the physical manifestation of a side effect, doesn't mean it's not a side effect...others (gyno) can't be controlled/chosen , but that doesn't mean they're more or less real.

**Dangerdan** · 05-14-2007, 03:35 PM

Good post Mike; keep us updated once you hit up the Tren . I'm currently on tren/test and will likely be adding mast/winny towards the end. So far, aggression is up but only ever so slightly. When I'm on, I feel increased anger/rage at times but I also always seems to have a sense of calm about me. Its kinda weird. Like I am compensating for the increased aggressions by always being on the lookout for it.