Alright well i may get flamed for this for some reason, but i am going to post it anyways.

I started my road to steroids by researching for a few years, but really only did about a month of solid research. (enough to know everything i need to know + more). I read countless stories about how oral only cycles are a waste and simply bad on your health. But being the first time steroid user, i ignored the facts that people laid down, got my hands on 500 dbol tabs and ran 30mg a day of dbol for 6 weeks, with 3 weeks of pct clomid/nolva. Gained 28lbs initially 1 week after quitting i was down 7 lbs, and thats where it stopped. I gained a total of 21lbs on dbol only, and was very happy with the results, now 6 weeks later (up another 5 pounds from natty training) i am ready to start a 'real cycle'.

Although my dbol only provided me stunning results (100% perfect diet and 6 days a week 2 hours a day of perfect training) I wanted to get into injections, because people talk about how much more you will gain with and injection cycle. So i bought 4 bottles of Test Cyp 200mg/ml, and some clen , and still had about 300 dbol tabs left over from my last cycle. My plans for this cycle are to run 400mg of test cyp a week for 12 weeks, weeks 1-5 30mg a day of dbol, and starting on weeks 6-12 run clen every other week at 40 (1 gp tab). I am 11% body fat so i wanted the clen for summer cutting.

Although i laid out this information to you guys, this has nothing to do with my problem, just wanted to give you a little background. While running my dbol only, i felt no remorse. Did not feel at all like i was killing myself, and only thought of it as doing good for my body and overall appearance. But here comes the problem, i started my new cycle on Monday, and so far have done 2 injections, i am not scared of the injections, nor scared of needles (i use a 23 guage needle and you have to be a pus to think it hurts). Although im not scared of needles, or the pain associated with it. For some reason every time right before i inject and every moment in between injection days i feel as if im killing myself, and only doing my self harm. Is this normal? has anyone else experienced this type of feeling? if you have any questions feel free to ask, i just want to conquer this fear so i can continue my cycle without depression.