Cycle during depression

[TxIslandBum]

Starting the new year, I had my plan set on starting my first cycle that included pinning...test e / mdrol stack. For site approval purposes, I'm 30, 5'10'' 185 and taken many pill cycles (andro, mdrol, hdrol).

New year's Eve I lost my sister who was very close to me and obviously due to the circumstances, I've been a little depressed to say the least. I'm at peace knowing she's in a better place and since her death have been blessed seeing how many lives she touched. However, because she was violently murdered by some random psycho, I do have some built up anger. I haven't lost control of my temper and never did before on cycle but just want any opinions whether it's still ok to cycle or not. Financially, I know I shouldn't because so much has gone towards our situation but mentally, I want that extra gratification and accomplishment of hitting the next level physically so bad. And although silly, I think it's a mental drive to feel physically stronger to stop any body else like this crazed animal if ever a situation to do such.

Thanks in advance, God Bless

[Muscleduke]

Sorry to hear about your sister.

Depression shouldn't get worse during your cycle, When you come off there is a possibility it could be worse depending on how bad your shut down and obviously that combined with the Anger and depression your currently experiencing isn't a great mix. But then again if you feel like you can control your current feelings then without a doubt you will be fine.

Your rite there, it has a huge effect in your mental state being bigger and stronger. "Your body is the reflection of your mind"

All the best

[Stosh_112]

My deepest condolences for you and your family.

Now for ur questions about ur cycling during this time period... I would say NO. You know as well as everyone else knows that it enhances ur feelings on a day to day basis. Some days are better than others but im sure we can all say weve had them days where we just couldnt deal with shit. Hit the gym hard and focus on ur mental health b4 messing with mind altering Test.

[king6 II]

I can speak from first hand experience on running a cycle while dealing with personal issues. The greatest time of my life was during my second cycle, it was also the worst time of my life. Had some relationship issues going on and when I started PCT my emotional state got worse, and I essentially fudged up my PCT by dropping calories and not working out and lost more muscle than I should have. Your mental state should be priority before starting any cycle.

[TestAce]

Sorry to hear about your sister, that sounds very tough. While I'm not advocating using steroids during emotional trauma, I can tell you that it has helped me during a time when I lost a very important person in my life. Testosterone is as much a mental drug as it is a physical one, and having that extra test flowing through my body keeps me focused on fitness and building muscle and more easily allows me to deal with issues like the loss of someone you love. PCT however is hard if you are still dealing with emotional pain, and the thought of coming off if you are still dealing with issues is not something that you want to deal with much less do. I recommend Toremifene for PCT, avoid Clomid and Nolva, especially in this instance. So pretty much you have to come to the decision for yourself, and talk to someone if you need to, whether that be a family member or psychiatrist.

Good luck.

[TxIslandBum]

Thanks for the replies. Although nothing this tragic, I've experienced some serious obstacles in my life (death of close friends, over coming cancer, ugly divorce, etc) and I know 3 things that get me through it... GOD, Fishing, and the gym. Right now all I have is God. No desire to work out or fish but I personally feel if I were to continue with my cycle as planned, it'll help get myself back on track. If I don't cycle, I'm honestly not sure how physically active I'll be which worries me that I'll be more depressed. Hate to sound all Dr. Phil on this or by no means arguing any advice against it, just providing as much detail as I can.

TestAce, I was all set on a Clomid/Nolva pct but I sincerely appreciate your input. If I were to to Toremifene instead, how would my pct look? Plan on running 12 weeks of Test E and 4 weeks of Mdrol (weeks 4-8 most likely).

Thanks again for all the input

[Bert]

**** yeah, go really low dose, like 300mg test. I think it will help your depression. Go in every day and smash the weights.. You have (I would think) so much pent up aggression, that you need a release. I am so, so godam sorry for your lose. I'm honestly crying right now thinking about it. That must be the most horrible feeling in the world.. I hope one day, you get your hands on the guy and can knock all his teeth out and chop off his head. Maybe not the right thing to say but I'm fukn angry that mother ****er took your flesh and blood away from you . Before I dedicated my self to lifting, I was a speedballer of heroin and coke. Lifting along with aas has saved my life. It's my passion and true love. Make the iron your bitch and hit it hard. It has the ability to help with your depression. If


Again, I am so sorry that we live in a world that has ****ers like that. If I believed in god, I would pray to him that the guy dies in a fiery car crash today.

[joebailey1271]

Sorry about your sister, hope they catch beat and hang the perp.

[Buster Brown]

Hey bro, I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I really feel for you and your family and the pain/anger and frustration you must all be going through. I understand you are trying to stay focused and def need a positive outlet to help you vent. The problem with cycling under your circumstances is that it can be a catch 22. Yes, you will make gains and the fact that you are making progress will make you feel on top of the world. The problem is when you come off it can be quite a reality check and it is often difficult to deal with losing size and strength even under the best conditions. Given your situation, it may be best to hold off and really focus on what you can do naturally in terms of improving your diet (often very overlooked) and staying focused on your training. Everyone is different and you have to what is best for you. I hope you and your family will eventually find peace, God bless.

[TestAce]

Thanks for the replies. Although nothing this tragic, I've experienced some serious obstacles in my life (death of close friends, over coming cancer, ugly divorce, etc) and I know 3 things that get me through it... GOD, Fishing, and the gym. Right now all I have is God. No desire to work out or fish but I personally feel if I were to continue with my cycle as planned, it'll help get myself back on track. If I don't cycle, I'm honestly not sure how physically active I'll be which worries me that I'll be more depressed. Hate to sound all Dr. Phil on this or by no means arguing any advice against it, just providing as much detail as I can.

TestAce, I was all set on a Clomid/Nolva pct but I sincerely appreciate your input. If I were to to Toremifene instead, how would my pct look? Plan on running 12 weeks of Test E and 4 weeks of Mdrol (weeks 4-8 most likely).

Thanks again for all the input

No problem. The following dosing protocol has worked well for me (research chem dosing):

Day 1-3: 120mg
Days 4-7: 90mg
Weeks 2-3: 60mg
Week 4: 30mg