Originally Posted by
TheBadGuy
I would respond with one of my long stories but I'm a little distracted atm.
And people have already mentioned the important points. If there is one trait of men that genuinely turns off/scares women away its neediness or acting desperate. They're biologically wired to go after the man who always stays an inch out of reach from them. And that speaking emotionally. Telling her you were on juice was validation seeking behavoir. You were looking for her validation and opinion that it was ok. That was your first insecure move.
Then when a woman goes cold, the last thing you do is turn up the aggression. If a woman takes one step back you take 2. Then focus on generating attraction. Don't ever focus on seducing a woman you haven't first attracted. Otherwise she will resent you greatly for it. The order is attraction > comfort > seduction. Never break the order or she will flake out. A lot of times I don't even have to seduce a woman because I spend so much time building genuine attraction. This is also not done by bragging, its done by anchoring signs of high status into your interaction. Most high status men do this naturally in a way where when they talk, they are slowly "selling" themself in the process. But its not done in an overt way or it will come off cocky.
You can merely tell her a story about a time some guy stalking your ex and how you and your friends saw the guy at a bar one night and scared him half to death. No nothing violent but when you tell stories to people, or saying anything, you are ALWAYS transferring symbols of social status to that person. Women are very intuitive and feel this shit immediately. High status men simply don't beg, apologize, or act desperate in any way.
At this point your best choice would be to next her. Start with a clean slate and build attraction the proper way. If you need help on attraction techniques check the venusian arts handbook. Or check the m3 model specifically. Although I say "techniques" these are things naturals do in the real world and this has all been backwards engineered from natural behavoir of successful men.
Some basic rules I follow.
Never ask a woman if you are her type.
Never compliment a woman on her looks on the first date. Women value compliments on idiosyncratic behaviors that most men would not notice. And what really gets them going is when you take something about them that most people might consider bad, and reframe it as a compliment. Like "I noticed when I first met you that you were standoffish and somewhat of a bitch... but eventually I realized that you just do that to make people earn your trust, and thats pretty cool of you". Thats how you compliment them. And don't do it too much. It should be seasoned in very seldom throughout the interaction and at points where she is showing obvious signs of interest in you.
Don't get into the habit of buying things for them/paying for the olives in their drink. Or soon they make like the olives in their drink more than you.
Don't get in the habit of initiating communication with them too much. Let them text you, they are the women, they do the choosing. If they are attracted they WILL contact you.
Keep conversations on the phone short at first. No need to go into tirades about your past or how you were treated in highschool. Always leave an element of mystery for their imagination to fill the gaps.
I usually limit conversations to 5 minutes, then I get off the phone with them immediately. Not just for the reasons I mentioned but you are more likely to say
something stupid to a woman and 90% of guys if they just knew when to keep their mouths shut could have likely got laid. So many men talk too much or assume the role of investigator on first date. Don't do that. Don't even ask any personal questions. Tease her and get her to feel comfortable so she opens up on her own. Don't try prying details from them ever, they should be doing that to you.
In most situations like I said men fvck things up more for what they say then what they don't say. So if you're not sure what to say, best off to just keep your mouth shut. A women values a secure humble man who is ultra comfortable in his own skin. Don't fidget with forks or tap them on the table, don't wiggle your legs so the table shakes, be calm composed and have a strong presence. Presence comes from deliberate comfortable actions and posture. Don't be afraid to make eye contact but make sure to break it occassionally as she talks. If she gets on any topics that involve her showing interest or attraction for you change the topic immediately. It creates tension and although it makes them mad that tension will add to the sexual tension overall. Tension is great to maintain on a first date you just need to be calibrated about how you do it.
Test her, make her qualify to you, make her prove she's worthy. But don't forget she is a person too and you need to do the same things to her. But as a man theres a certain covert or classy way to go about it like I said. Most of all when people tell you to "just be yourself" they are essentially telling you to keep doing what you use to do so you keep getting what you use to got. If if the "real you" never gets laid, the last thing you wanna do is "just be yourself". Don't be afraid to reach outside you area of comfort or try faking it till you make it. Anything in life that we are not skilled at we always must start off faking it to some degree untill we make it. Then once we make it we adopt that new trait into our personality and it becomes a part of our new and evolved selves.
Most of all just be a man. No whining, complaining, bitching, no needy behavoir or talk about all the problems in your life. You want to maintain a frame of everything is alright. Be playful and tease them. Women love that shit. And most of all stop acting desperate, women hate that shit.
G/luck
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