Don't apologize, you are dead on.
Slim, most of the time when I see my female clients training in the gym I walk up to them, take their weights away, hand them something 10lbs heavier at least. Girls have some sort of problem with picking up heavy weights, like the opposite of a guys ego getting in the way. Whatever weight you are using, up the weight by 20lbs. No questioning it, just do it. Guys and girls should workout with the same intensity so watch some bodybuilder videos and then copy them. Anyway change to regular deadlifts as they are better for glutes than SLDL imo.