Deciding on when to end a marriage

[Times Roman]

Roman, im not a child, please dont speak to me like one. just because i haven't a piece of paper does mean i'm not going through the motions.

can you explain to me clearly how the fvck someone is supposed to force themselves to start loving someone after its gone, people grow apart, pure and simple.
tell me how my advice is horrible? i think your advice is stupid, the good old ''Americans can counsel through anything, lets paint over the cracks for the sake of 'society's' morals''. yeah sure Roman, stay with someone you no longer love. ace advice there mate, do you think everyone entrusts their live's to religious based sanctimonious BS, some of us have the intelligence to not believe in fairies.

i cant believe a man of your age can be so naive. oh, and how fvcking dare you call my parents fvcked up, do you know them or anything about them? and you're a mod on this board?! thats a joke for starters, offering your little insights on the perils of life. you know nothing about nothing. you sanctimonious idiot.

its not my fault you had to leave home for work so dont fvckin go out on a limb on me.

OK... I see what you are getting at. 4th paragraph down. when i said "your" parents, it definately sounds like I'm singling you out. Didn't mean it to come across that way, but it did come across that way. I owe you an apology for that. I'm sorry mate, it was a callous thing to say, and I should have said it differently. To be very precise with my meaning, and I should have said it this way from the start, but sometimes when i'm on a rant i type faster than i think, and let emotion get the better of me (I'm human), what I should have said, more or less, I could have substituted the word "one's" for "your", but now it just sounds like i'm back peddling, so i'm fukked either way. So it would have read "one's parents" instead of "your parents".

So I stepped on it big time and dont' know what else to say except im sorry. (I mean it too)

Here's the problem i see with most marriages that end in divorce, to try to answer your question. Most marriages end due to lack of effort. Couples stop trying after a few years. They take certain things for granted. Sometimes they stop trying in the bedroom, which sometimes results in infidelity. They take their partner for granted....."Why should I lose weight? I don't need to impress my woman anymore, I'm already married". As time marches on, a twelve pack and the game on the TV is more important than spending quality time with your woman. I've seen this happen plenty of times. Then conversations stop, and the marriage dies a slow death. Yes, during this process, couples fall out of love. And in this case, divorce seems a natural evolutionary part of the marriage. The REASON people go to counsilling, and I'm stating the obvious here, is they have the desire to save the marriage, but not the tools. Couples can sometimes hit a road block, a stalemate if you will, neither side willing to give an inch, and therefore, they go to an arbitrator, or marriage counsiller. Going to a counsiller is no magic pill, trust me. It still requires hard work. And it is NO guarantee that it will save the marriage. But it is something to try. And yes, sometimes it DOES save the marriage. Nothing wrong with that, right? And when there are little ones at stake, isn't it worth the extra effort?

BTW... there is a huge difference between living together and actually getting married. it's a big step, which is why many choose not to do it. And there are plenty of legal ramifications as well. Much different than simply "going through the motions, regardless of how long those said motions have been going on'.

If you have anyother issues i failed to address... let me know
---Roman

[dec11]

OK... I see what you are getting at. 4th paragraph down. when i said "your" parents, it definately sounds like I'm singling you out. Didn't mean it to come across that way, but it did come across that way. I owe you an apology for that. I'm sorry mate, it was a callous thing to say, and I should have said it differently. To be very precise with my meaning, and I should have said it this way from the start, but sometimes when i'm on a rant i type faster than i think, and let emotion get the better of me (I'm human), what I should have said, more or less, I could have substituted the word "one's" for "your", but now it just sounds like i'm back peddling, so i'm fukked either way. So it would have read "one's parents" instead of "your parents".

So I stepped on it big time and dont' know what else to say except im sorry. (I mean it too)

Here's the problem i see with most marriages that end in divorce, to try to answer your question. Most marriages end due to lack of effort. Couples stop trying after a few years. They take certain things for granted. Sometimes they stop trying in the bedroom, which sometimes results in infidelity. They take their partner for granted....."Why should I lose weight? I don't need to impress my woman anymore, I'm already married". As time marches on, a twelve pack and the game on the TV is more important than spending quality time with your woman. I've seen this happen plenty of times. Then conversations stop, and the marriage dies a slow death. Yes, during this process, couples fall out of love. And in this case, divorce seems a natural evolutionary part of the marriage. The REASON people go to counsilling, and I'm stating the obvious here, is they have the desire to save the marriage, but not the tools. Couples can sometimes hit a road block, a stalemate if you will, neither side willing to give an inch, and therefore, they go to an arbitrator, or marriage counsiller. Going to a counsiller is no magic pill, trust me. It still requires hard work. And it is NO guarantee that it will save the marriage. But it is something to try. And yes, sometimes it DOES save the marriage. Nothing wrong with that, right? And when there are little ones at stake, isn't it worth the extra effort?

BTW... there is a huge difference between living together and actually getting married. it's a big step, which is why many choose not to do it. And there are plenty of legal ramifications as well. Much different than simply "going through the motions, regardless of how long those said motions have been going on'.

If you have anyother issues i failed to address... let me know
---Roman

fair enough, lets delete and forget in that case.

my advice was based on a fact of no vices disrupting a marriage. of course if one is drinking to excess or just plain lazy then thats different. i clearly stated and meant when one has fallen out of love through no fault of their own or their partners which is what i took from the OP's post