should i get a divorce ?

[Granovich]

ok now that might sound crazy... i have been married to the love of my life for 6-7 months now and its been great..
so today we were watching that new stupid movie A hunted house and after the movie ended she was like i hid something from you and i need to tell you ... Now i know she had a relationship before me that lasted 5 months and Had sex with this one guy. and i was upset cuz i love her but got over it cuz she was 18 and its been 6 years since then and i didnt know her by then
SO what she told me is that when she was 18 that sex thing wasnt really from a relationship. She got drunk in party and this guy came and he was " handsome, funny" " thats what she said" and he talked to her and she was drunk and he offered to drive her home and he took her to his house and she was like i didnt even know what i was doing sooo it ended up by having sex.. ( she lost her virginity) after that she talked to him and asked him if they should date to try to get into relationship he said NO because he just had good time..anyway
so now that i know i was like F*CK. what do i do ???
i kind of left the house angry and yelling and she was crying and keeps saying im sorry that she lied to me ...
im a religious man, i never had sex with her before marriage, i waited 3 years till we got married then had sex. and she knows i always preach against people who goes to parties and have sex while drunk ( i never had a drink in my life)
so being with woman like this. although she never had a drink since then and she became a good girl and never had sex since then up until she met me
but im really mad...like i don't know how to deal with it, i realize it happened before me but its not a good thing like it wasnt a relationship
do i want for the woman who will have my children to have such past ????
how will i be able to hold her and kiss her and be with her thinking another man did that ?
in my head she has always been pure and innocent and she is good girl and treat me like a king, seriously there is no woman like her
WHAT DO I DO ???
you guys are like my family and i thought i would ask you ... please tell me i'm really in bad situation
would you get divorce if it was you ?
if you experience that with GF not wife , would you break up ?

[--->>405<<---]

im curious, u say ur religious, what religion are you?

[Granovich]

im curious, u say ur religious, what religion are you?

Islam she is Christian but its never been a problem

[wmaousley]

Islam she is Christian but its never been a problem

Salam Alaykum

I am an American, I am a muslim. You need to leave your arab culture in the Middle East or wherever you come from. You are in the states now and premarital sex is very common.

You also married a christian, if she were muslim I would agree to divorce her as islam dictates 1st time virgin marriages, but she isn't. You need to work on the commitment you made to her before you 2 were married and carry your marriage into greatness. An Imam will tell you the same thing as I have, and since you stated you're a religious man, you should already know this.

Good Luck

[Aus]

Forget the past mate

[cherrydrpepper]

Um............

.........

You're not going to find better bro. You're wife is an angel. I am dating a girl who is a nice family oriented girl. We're both 31 and shes had sex with 9 guys which is a low number for anyone this age who has never been married. Coincidentally I have had sex with 9 or 10 women. If you go out there into the world and you think you are going to find some girl who is 21 or older or whatever and has never had sex or had sex with 1 person.. they are going to be so rare I'm telling you especially in todays world.

I can barely relate with anything you typed and had to read it twice to make sure you weren't trolling I just found it so unbelieveable. You're kind of taking nothing and blowing it up into a mountain. Its like a grain of sand you found and said LOOK LOOK AT THIS F- ING MOUNTAIN HOLY SHIT and I'm looking at it like wtf do you see that I don't its a grain of sand.

I've actually been down this road before with the girl ive been dating because she was playing this game where she would go on lunch dates with her exes who are now "just friends" so I kind of know the emotions you are feeling even if I don't agree with them. At the heat of our exchange about her exes I actually ended it with her but deep down inside I felt really awful and I knew she was being open with me and telling me things she really didn't have to tell me. She could have lied and said she never had sex with the guy she was going to lunch with or even not told me she was going out to lunch with a guy. I knew that deep down inside and so I knew I was wrong and got over it.

[Granovich]

Um............

.........

You're not going to find better bro. You're wife is an angel. I am dating a girl who is a nice family oriented girl. We're both 31 and shes had sex with 9 guys which is a low number for anyone this age who has never been married. Coincidentally I have had sex with 9 or 10 women. If you go out there into the world and you think you are going to find some girl who is 21 or older or whatever and has never had sex or had sex with 1 person.. they are going to be so rare I'm telling you especially in todays world.

I can barely relate with anything you typed and had to read it twice to make sure you weren't trolling I just found it so unbelieveable. You're kind of taking nothing and blowing it up into a mountain. Its like a grain of sand you found and said LOOK LOOK AT THIS F- ING MOUNTAIN HOLY SHIT and I'm looking at it like wtf do you see that I don't its a grain of sand.

I've actually been down this road before with the girl ive been dating because she was playing this game where she would go on lunch dates with her exes who are now "just friends" so I kind of know the emotions you are feeling even if I don't agree with them. At the heat of our exchange about her exes I actually ended it with her but deep down inside I felt really awful and I knew she was being open with me and telling me things she really didn't have to tell me. She could have lied and said she never had sex with the guy she was going to lunch with or even not told me she was going out to lunch with a guy. I knew that deep down inside and so I knew I was wrong and got over it.

that is excatly my problem
we never have argument except me fighting over small things
sometimes things thats not even her fault.
i got that from my dad LOL

how do you get over it ???
dude where i come from 99% of girls lose virginity after marriage
so im not used to this
im so dizzy i dont want to lose her but i dont know . i dont even feel like looking at her face !

[Remington]

dude where i come from 99% of girls lose virginity after marriage
so im not used to this

Religion strikes again.
Starts wars every time.
It's just sex.
Get over it and move on or your gonna loose a gem.

[--->>405<<---]

Religion strikes again.
Starts wars every time.
It's just sex.
Get over it and move on or your gonna loose a gem.

it may be in part due to religion but also cultural differences. hard to tell where one ends and the other begins in this situation.

good luck man.. maybe u should pray about it.

[Granovich]

it may be in part due to religion but also cultural differences. hard to tell where one ends and the other begins in this situation.

good luck man.. maybe u should pray about it.

its more cultural .... because she became religious too and she agreed on not having sex till marriage. she did really ask for forgiveness alot

[Granovich]

Religion strikes again.
Starts wars every time.
It's just sex.
Get over it and move on or your gonna loose a gem.

not just religion , although religion is most important thing in the world!
what u mean its just sex, we arent animals!!!!!
its the most sacred thing ever!!!! thats why this community is messed up,alot of guys dont know their parents, alot of divorce , Messed up!!!!
would u be ok if you see your sister with another man ?
if Yes then i dont know what to tell you.

[gixxerboy1]

not just religion , although religion is most important thing in the world!
what u mean its just sex, we arent animals!!!!!
its the most sacred thing ever!!!! thats why this community is messed up,alot of guys dont know their parents, alot of divorce , Messed up!!!!
would u be ok if you see your sister with another man ?
if Yes then i dont know what to tell you.

And your considering it over 1 night before she knew you that has absolutly no effect on you, your relationship or how she treats you,. It does not change her as a person,

[panntastic]

Religion strikes again.
Starts wars every time.
It's just sex.
Get over it and move on or your gonna loose a gem.

Shouldn't knock the dudes beliefs man.
I agree in moving on as it was before your time OP
But to bring the OP's religion and beliefs into question isn't cool

[cherrydrpepper]

They dont have guns where your from im guessing

[Granovich]

They dont have guns where your from im guessing

we are the ones who invented AK47 LOL

[panntastic]

They dont have guns where your from im guessing

Was this aimed at myself?

[cherrydrpepper]

Please for f s no more gun threads it was a joke drop it

[cherrydrpepper]

I think it will help if you lead with your heart rather than your head when you are dealing with complex situations like this in a relationship. Your head can do all kinds of crazy things to you but your heart knows when you are wrong.

[Granovich]

I think it will help if you lead with your heart rather than your head when you are dealing with complex situations like this in a relationship. Your head can do all kinds of crazy things to you but your heart knows when you are wrong.

my heard tell me to go back home and just apologize for the way i acted and fix it even if it takes a week. but fix it.
i went through ALOT to marry her financially and family wise cuz she is black and im white

[cherrydrpepper]

my heard tell me to go back home and just apologize for the way i acted and fix it even if it takes a week. but fix it.
i went through ALOT to marry her financially and family wise cuz she is black and im white

Wow I respect that in all seriousness. Yeah I mean in my relationship if I am wrong I apologize and behave nice and maybe go home and make love to my woman (look in her eyes while making love instead of just banging her) and then it seems everything is ok. Also it never hurts to take her to a fancy restaurant.

[Granovich]

Wow I respect that in all seriousness. Yeah I mean in my relationship if I am wrong I apologize and behave nice and maybe go home and make love to my woman (look in her eyes while making love instead of just banging her) and then it seems everything is ok. Also it never hurts to take her to a fancy restaurant.

i just dont want to forgive her and wake up in the morning with my anger back
then im a P U S S Y fighting over stuff i already forgave... only girls do that
thats why i want to let it all out you know!

[cherrydrpepper]

Men yell and throw tantrums but it is the woman who cries while we are not around remember that. She may make you feel badly at times but they rarely bring us to tears. Well except Cal I heard when he gets a top rider he cries.

[cherrydrpepper]

That last comment was meant as a joke ignore it

When you fell in love with your wife you accepted her for who she is in her totality including her perfections and her imperfections. To reject her would be like ordering a delicious lobster then complaining that you had to get the meat from the shell to eat it.

[cherrydrpepper]

Tell her you need her to invite a girl friend into the bedroom and then the score will be settled hope this helps

[cherrydrpepper]

How about this you run to cvs get some lube come back say I need to ram my rod in the poopenshaften and all is forgiven hope this helps

[Granovich]

How about this you run to cvs get some lube come back say I need to ram my rod in the poopenshaften and all is forgiven hope this helps

LOL ... bring a whore and have sex with her infront of my Wife LOL>... crazy. she will probably stab me or something while sleeping
but no man i cant do that .... its strange i cant even think about another woman!!!
she is my everything

[Edwin23q]

Hey mate, I'm in Australia but I was born in Iran. I am a Christian that grew up in a 99% Muslim country and totally understand what your going through. I was not a virgin when I got married but my wife was. She is the same nationality and religion as me.
If tomorrow my wife of 11 years, the mother of my 3 children tells me that she was not a virgin when we got married, I'll be very upset and angry. Not because she slept with someone, but that she lied to me. Yes as I said I will be angry and yeah we might have a massive fight, but would I divorce her? No F'n way, I love her and my kids too much to hold a mistake in her past to break up my life and possibly ruin mine, hers and my kids lives.
My best advise is swallow this bitter pill, get over it. You will without doubt regret it if you divorced her.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

[panntastic]

Hey mate, I'm in Australia but I was born in Iran. I am a Christian that grew up in a 99% Muslim country and totally understand what your going through. I was not a virgin when I got married but my wife was. She is the same nationality and religion as me.
If tomorrow my wife of 11 years, the mother of my 3 children tells me that she was not a virgin when we got married, I'll be very upset and angry. Not because she slept with someone, but that she lied to me. Yes as I said I will be angry and yeah we might have a massive fight, but would I divorce her? No F'n way, I love her and my kids too much to hold a mistake in her past to break up my life and possibly ruin mine, hers and my kids lives.
My best advise is swallow this bitter pill, get over it. You will without doubt regret it if you divorced her.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

^^^ sound advice ^^^

[Granovich]

Hey mate, I'm in Australia but I was born in Iran. I am a Christian that grew up in a 99% Muslim country and totally understand what your going through. I was not a virgin when I got married but my wife was. She is the same nationality and religion as me.
If tomorrow my wife of 11 years, the mother of my 3 children tells me that she was not a virgin when we got married, I'll be very upset and angry. Not because she slept with someone, but that she lied to me. Yes as I said I will be angry and yeah we might have a massive fight, but would I divorce her? No F'n way, I love her and my kids too much to hold a mistake in her past to break up my life and possibly ruin mine, hers and my kids lives.
My best advise is swallow this bitter pill, get over it. You will without doubt regret it if you divorced her.

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

just agree with me on this, its hard isnt it ???
you would be so ****in upset... like i want to sgfasfghasoiufapfhhj her!!! you know LOL
but I knew she had sex before me , she told me it was a relationship and i know she gets scared from me because i have anger issues LOL
so she lied. but she came and told me that it was one time... im upset cuz she lied and because it was one time thing. like a whore!
if it was a relationship then yes but like that its crazy

[mesotiny]

I thought you can't marry a non-mulsim if you are one,unless they convert.just curious, I just read about it some time ago.

[Granovich]

I thought you can't marry a non-mulsim if you are one,unless they convert.just curious, I just read about it some time ago.

no thats not how it is . you can marry " believer"
Muslim, Christian , Jew. nothing else
main 3 religions
because to Islam we consider christianity and Judaism are religions of god
because bible and tourah are books and god
and consider Jesus and Mousos are prophets of God
with same value to us as Mohamad

[panntastic]

no thats not how it is . you can marry " believer"
Muslim, Christian , Jew. nothing else
main 3 religions
because to Islam we consider christianity and Judaism are religions of god
because bible and tourah are books and god
and consider Jesus and Mousos are prophets of God
with same value to us as Mohamad

This is also new to me
Your opening my eyes now especially as I was under the impression Islam and Judaism were enemies.

[Granovich]

This is also new to me
Your opening my eyes now especially as I was under the impression Islam and Judaism were enemies.

Palestinians and Israelies are enemies
its all politics
has nothing to do with religion
we are actually cousins
Abraham had Isac and Ismael ( brothers)
Isac is where Jews came from
and Ismael where Muslims came from
books very close. everything is very close but Politics made fights and made wwars and created extremists and Osama bin laden and all this... all Politics my friend
religion is peaceful not what those stupid people preach
but people are IGNORANTS

[panntastic]

Palestinians and Israelies are enemies
its all politics
has nothing to do with religion
we are actually cousins
Abraham had Isac and Ismael ( brothers)
Isac is where Jews came from
and Ismael where Muslims came from
books very close. everything is very close but Politics made fights and made wwars and created extremists and Osama bin laden and all this... all Politics my friend
religion is peaceful not what those stupid people preach
but people are IGNORANTS

Cool glad I looked in on this thread

[RajaSultan]

bhai she loves u thats why she told you the truth ... i know its really bad in islam and its hard to forget but try your best i swear your lucky to have her cuz she trusts you bro and i hope you good luck in life don't divorce her .. she didn't want to cheat on you thats why she decided to tell you bro

[canesfan804]

no thats not how it is . you can marry " believer"
Muslim, Christian , Jew. nothing else
main 3 religions
because to Islam we consider christianity and Judaism are religions of god
because bible and tourah are books and god
and consider Jesus and Mousos are prophets of God
with same value to us as Mohamad

WOW!! I never knew this. I am glad to know this for the next Muslim debate I get into. I know some dumb people that think all Muslims are bad people and trying to kill all us Christians. As for you question on your wife, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her and not let it linger. It will prob bother you for a couple days but try not to be a jerk. Im sure she lied to you because of your religion and maybe she didnt understand how you would perceive her in the begining. Unfortunately she couldnt fess up because then she is a lyar. Now you have been married for a bit she feels more secure to let you know these things. Good luck and hope you can get through it.

[cherrydrpepper]

I have heard that most muslims are normal family people and that a tiny fraction make the news for extremist views and actions that tend to be taken as how all of them act and behave. Would you agree Granovich? I have never had a muslim friend so I really don't know anything about your religion.

[Granovich]

I have heard that most muslims are normal family people and that a tiny fraction make the news for extremist views and actions that tend to be taken as how all of them act and behave. Would you agree Granovich? I have never had a muslim friend so I really don't know anything about your religion.

i lived in my country for 8 years and rest in middle east
Never once met an extremiest
all people living Just like americans
go to work , go home , watch sport, go to restaurants and eat
guys go out with girls ... Maybe little different on clothing like no super short skirts but its just like people in USA
those extremiest arent even 0.1% of muslims.. they live in mountains like in afghanistan and pakistan
and they arent really religious
all of them were killers and criminals and when they got out of jail they wanted to get back to killing so the only way would be Make your self look religious and extremist and you can kill all you want in the name of God.... ALL people there know that and actually gets scared by those guys if they seen them
again never seen one.
my religion is almost identical to Christianity , when i tell my wife about stories from QUraan she always finish the story from the bible and its exactly the same except some small details...
both books preach same things

[cherrydrpepper]

i lived in my country for 8 years and rest in middle east
Never once met an extremiest
all people living Just like americans
go to work , go home , watch sport, go to restaurants and eat
guys go out with girls ... Maybe little different on clothing like no super short skirts but its just like people in USA
those extremiest arent even 0.1% of muslims.. they live in mountains like in afghanistan and pakistan
and they arent really religious
all of them were killers and criminals and when they got out of jail they wanted to get back to killing so the only way would be Make your self look religious and extremist and you can kill all you want in the name of God.... ALL people there know that and actually gets scared by those guys if they seen them
again never seen one.
my religion is almost identical to Christianity , when i tell my wife about stories from QUraan she always finish the story from the bible and its exactly the same except some small details...
both books preach same things

This is really good to hear and has changed my opinion about Islam. I will try to keep a more open mind moving forward thanks for this.

[Granovich]

This is really good to hear and has changed my opinion about Islam. I will try to keep a more open mind moving forward thanks for this.

you are very welcome
LOL what do i do about my wife LOL
dude i didnt workout today . i ate 1 sandwich from burger king all day
i havent had junk food in years and i have been on strict diet to lose fat and im under 12% NOW....was horrible day
thank god tmw is weekend. i would have took day off or something if it was work!!!!!
im staying at my parents house LOL
sux cuz they keep asking whats up