Thread: What are his motives...???
09-01-2004, 01:41 PM #1
What are his motives...???
So...back in May my 1.5 yr relationship ended. Sort of a similar situation to Sexy Kitty and Dally...except when I called him on his constant contact with his ex....we had a huge fight and it ended. Long story which I don't want to get into now....but....
now he's coming back around. Says because he's trying to be the nice guy and be friends again. I ask him what he wants and if it is that he wants to try again and his response is .... he doesn't know what his future holds. He is supposedly in a "situation" with his former Ex now current??? WTF is that... a "situation"? If she knew he was talking to me....she would Kick his a$$. She threatened to kick mine but I told her to BRING it and her army and be ready for a battle. I'd wipe the floor with her fat a$$.
WTF???? If he's trying to get booty again...he's not moving too fast. What is the deal??? I've never been so hurt over the ending of a relationship that I couldn't stay friends ... hell, my ex-husband and I are best friends ... but this one is different. Everytime I see him....it opens up the wound and the tears come. On top of it I'm stressed out over some health issues that could result in some surgery and I want to lean on him for support but I know I can't.
Does he really just want to be my friend? does he sense that I'm trying to move on and can't stand it? is he just trying to fuk with my head????? WHAT?
Sorry...had to vent!
09-01-2004, 01:47 PM #2
No he is looking to set you up so when he blows off his current ex he will have somewhere to land. He's a maggot, blow him off IMO and don't be gentle about it.
09-01-2004, 01:51 PM #3
Man I'm trying so hard...but my head and heart aren't linking up and it's making me crazy. Maybe I'm just holding on because I hate being alone. I met a great guy and we are slowly getting to know one another. He's at sea right now so that's about all we can do. It could be a wonderful relationship. He's a great christian guy (thot you'd appreciate that 1V) and an awesome bodybuilder....he's everything I could want and if I don't get over this ache....I might blow it with him. I don't want to do that. The good part is I have 5 months to get my head straight before he comes home.
Sigh...I'm such a big softie...need to start thinking like a Chief and a Cop in my personal life too.
09-01-2004, 01:55 PM #4Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
CB, dont give this loser a second thought. Tell him uv moved on and want nothing to do with him. He's just trying to set u up so he has something to fall back on. Dont let him do it!
09-01-2004, 01:58 PM #5
Thanks OG. I know I can't go back. I would never trust him again. Too much was lost because of all this....way too much.
See....it isn't only girls that play bullchit games.
09-01-2004, 01:58 PM #6
Just a thought but it sounds like he's having second thoughts. I happen to think if a man is mature enough he can remain friends with his ex but it's rare.
You're still having feelings for this man Barb, you know it as well. Ask yourself, can you handle going through all the pain if you two get back together and he flakes out on you again? You're too good a person too have to deal with that...........tell him you'll be friends but nothing more than that and see how he reacts and then wait to see if his true colors come out. He knows the strings to pull and he's testing them right now. Contain yourself and give him no clear signs as too your feelings....not yet. PUll it together, you're a bright, knows what she wants kind of woman.......don't take two steps back now.
09-01-2004, 02:03 PM #7
My advice is to dedicate yourself RIGHT NOW to your man at sea. Commit yourself to fostering your love for him and focus on that. It will comfort you even though he is not there with you. When he gets there the rewards will be emotionally overwhelming.
09-01-2004, 02:05 PM #8
Easier said than done. I've never felt like this for anyone. It's too hard to explain but I've never been able to trust anyone...esp men and he was the first. He ruined that and so I'm torn between reality and feelings. I am an open book around him. He can see it on my face.
The new guy is a good honest man that in time I am sure will be everything I need and want...I am just going nuts with this crap.
09-01-2004, 02:10 PM #9Originally Posted by 1victor
09-01-2004, 02:15 PM #10
We all want what we either can't or shouldn't have. I have been where you are. You are letting him have this control or power and maybe you don't realize it. Barbi, not to be condescending but let go of the past and move forward. It's time to start being practical when it comes to your personal relationships. You are just like me. You like fixer uppers, you see the potential, the goodness.etc, and you can save them from themselves. YOU CAN'T. Go buy some fresh batteries and rent some porn!
09-01-2004, 02:16 PM #11
yea sounds like he is trying to setup a booty call situation. tell him not to call you ever again. it will hurt but its for the best. anytime you get the urge to call him go running or shoot the ****t on here...
09-01-2004, 02:17 PM #12
love the new avatar btw!! very nice
09-01-2004, 02:18 PM #13
Hmmm maybe that's it. I do miss the sex .. . Kidding. or not.
I know what I have to do. I just want to understand why he's doing this???? **** it!
09-01-2004, 02:19 PM #14Originally Posted by biglouie250
09-01-2004, 02:21 PM #15
no prob post some pics then hahaha im bored at work need something good to look at. that sex thing... im sure you wont have a problem finding takers hun!
09-01-2004, 02:23 PM #16
Because he is a slime bag. You are giving him too much credit, your feelings are clouding his true self. You are worthy of him so don't worry about that. The point is that HE is not worthy of you. He's scared and lonely blah, blah, blah. Tell him to buy a puppy.
09-01-2004, 02:27 PM #17
LOL OK 1V... I got it
09-01-2004, 02:51 PM #18Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
You look awesome, Man if I were 10 years younger and single.
09-01-2004, 02:57 PM #19Originally Posted by singern
09-01-2004, 03:12 PM #20Originally Posted by singern
09-01-2004, 03:13 PM #21Originally Posted by Juggy'sTwat
09-01-2004, 03:19 PM #22Originally Posted by Commando_Barbi
My appoligies Singern if I offended you. Sometimes I go a little too far.
Last edited by Juggy'sTwat; 09-01-2004 at 03:21 PM.
09-01-2004, 03:26 PM #23
fly me up there and i'll hold him down and start breaking fingers until he tells you the truth....or what you want to hear....makes no differnce to me....
09-01-2004, 03:28 PM #24Associate Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2003
- Aukland, NZ
I don't think he is "just" looking for a booty call.
He screwed up, he knows it. He knows things will not work out with the X, so he is trying to keep you as an alternate for when things crash. At the same time, he is not giving up on any front yet. He wants it so he can just come running back like nothing ever happened when the other deal fails. For lack of better terminology, he is trying to use you. He wants to have his cake and eat it too.
IMHO... Just tell him, sure, we are still friends. That's all it will EVER be from this point though. Tell him he has NO chance of ever getting you back though. If he sticks around after that, he "might" be sincere... If he bolts, his true intentions have been discovered.
09-01-2004, 03:35 PM #25Originally Posted by Juggy'sTwat
09-01-2004, 03:48 PM #26
09-01-2004, 03:52 PM #27
Yeah Barbi most of as are just looking for a reason to kick someones as*, this is a good reason I say we do it!
09-01-2004, 04:02 PM #28
LOL Would you like his address and phone number?????? Directions????
09-01-2004, 04:03 PM #29
That would be great! Of course you know I will repent immdeiately after!
09-01-2004, 04:07 PM #30
LOL of course. I'd give ya a pic but I shredded them all after we broke up.
09-01-2004, 04:09 PM #31
how tough can it be to find a walking asshole?
09-01-2004, 04:11 PM #32Originally Posted by w_rballs
09-01-2004, 04:14 PM #33
He will be easy to find, he'll be the one shelling out the most crap! We will follow the smell!
09-01-2004, 04:17 PM #34
Funny thing is all my friends want to kick MY a$$ for even talking to him again.
09-01-2004, 04:19 PM #35
Okay when we are there we will kick your ass too!
09-01-2004, 04:22 PM #36
Man...this could get painful!
09-01-2004, 04:26 PM #37
Sorry I'm getting too excited!
09-01-2004, 04:34 PM #38
LOL Me too in a sick sorta way
09-01-2004, 05:33 PM #39Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
My guess is that he doesn't really know what he wants. Unfortunately, you are going to end up as the experiment he uses to find out. It sounds like you know you need to stay away, and all your friends think you're nuts to think about him. This sounds like major heartbreak in the making. i remember the trouble you had with this guy last time. I'd go with my head over my heart on this one.
09-01-2004, 05:45 PM #40
I get so mad at myself because in both my jobs I'm so capable of making hard decisions and sticking to them. With him...I'm a basket case!
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