01-21-2006, 12:36 AM #1
Some people just won't understand.
I warn you now, I am about to
I've been seeing this girl for the last couple of weeks. Knew her before I left Denver and we kind of hooked up when I got back from college Jan 1st. She isn't my girlfriend though. I don't "do" GF's. And this is a good reminder as to why.
She always gives me sh!t when we go out because I'll always get a salad or a steak with broc. She always gets something that would be on the menu if Fat Albert owned a restaurant. She says she can't enjoy her meal because she feels like crap seeing me dieting and lifting all the time. I say "I need to diet but you should eat that. I'm just not happy with the way I look but you're beutiful". A couple of times I almost said "Well you could always diet with me" but figured that would probably lead to more problems. But tonight she wants me to meet her parents. This is a first for me. Most of my relationships don't last a month so parents have never been an issue. I agree because I could see it meant a lot to her. Also I was horny and wanted her to stop talking. I ate before because she told me her mom doesn't cook. Well apparently, upon hearing of my intent to come, her mom decides to pull out the apron and start up the deep fryer. Wants to make me something special because I am such a gentleman to her daughter . Knowing that I'm always eating healthy, her mom decides fried catfish and mozarella cheese sticks would provide wonderful health benefits.
Let me set the scene. Me and my girl with her father, mother, 2 sisters, and a brother sitting at the dinner table. Mom fetches the plates of freshly fried crap from behind the kitchen door (I hadn't seen what they were cooking, they just assured me it was healthy) and sets them down in the middle of the table. I speak:
Me: "Wow, this really looks great. But I might have to pass because I'm not feeling very good."
The Girl: "Hun, they cooked this especially for you. How are you gonna not eat it after all the work my mom put into it?"
Me: "Really, it looks great. Thank you very much mom. But babe, I just really don't feel good."
Mom: "That's ok. You don't have to eat it. But it's there if you want it."
Me: "Thanks ma."
Fast foward 10 minutes into dinner. I'm on my third glass of water, family is stuffing their faces in between talking to me and asking questions, and my girl is just sitting there not eating and looking disgusted/about to cry.
Older sis talking to my girl: "Why haven't you ate anything? Are you not feeling well either?"
My girl just pushes her untouched plate away from her and says "I don't want to get any fatter or 1buffsob might leave me." Then she looks at the floor as tears fall down her cheek.
Whole family turns to me like who does this guy think he is? Making our daughter anorexic and telling her she's fat.
First thought that goes through my head is just eat the fried sh!t and it'll make her feel better and her family won't think you're a total prick.
Second thought that goes through my head is I just had a break day last sunday for my birthday.
Third thought that goes through my head is FUK IT. She ain't worth getting fat over.
So I stand up, thank the family for a wonderful evening, show myself to the door, get in my camaro and drive off.
What would you have done?
01-21-2006, 12:49 AM #2
I would have done the same thing...weird situation...hmmm...
01-21-2006, 01:00 AM #3
Good. Then I'm not the only "obsessed" one out there. She keeps calling and it's about 1 a.m. here. I don't really know what to say. Her text messages are all "I think you look great. Why do you have to diet all the time? Can't you just forget about it for one night? For me at least? Please call me or come see me."
You would think they want a guy who is concerned about looking good and staying big. But I think it intimidates them. 99% of women think they're fat. They get freaked out when the guy is more concerned about his appearance than they are of theirs'. But if I was 300+lbs with 45% bf (which I was at one point) would she be saying the same thing. I don't think so.
01-21-2006, 01:13 AM #4
I probably would have tried to explain my way outta it. I know what you mean about the eating. I stayed with my parents friends in california when I was there and they cooked for me and I wouldnt eat it and they acted all offended. What you did was prolly best..ur girl made the situation look bad. When I started getting really into proper diet, my gf at the time got really pissed and would bitch at me every time I ate and be like "why dont you eat like you used to..eat like a normal person" etc. Comes with the lifestyle.
01-21-2006, 01:30 AM #5
it fu_king annoys me when people try to tell me what to do. it sounds like that girl is trying to manipulate you. i just dont understand why people always feel that they have to try to change other people, even when its a situation like this. some girls love to create drama over the dumbest and most trivial things
01-21-2006, 01:54 AM #6
for me it what wold depend on how I wanted the relationship to go.
now I know you dont want a girl to think they are the boss, bit if you go to the girls house you can assume the parents arent going to hand you a can of tuna, salad and a protien shake for dinner. if it was a girl I wanted to keep around I would have ate and explaind to her later. if I did not give a shit about her I would have done the same thing you did
01-21-2006, 02:38 AM #7Anabolic Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2005
Sucks to be in that situation. I seemed to be getting fuked over by women lately.
Her fault for making a scene, and putting you on the spot like that. She has insecurities. She thought she could use her family to intimidate you into doing what she thought was ideal for her, and not for "you guys". I bet she was more hurt by the fact you up and left. If you want to set things straight and all that, you can call her back and tell her that you weren't ready or expecting her to act like that. Then you can maybe even throw the blame on her a little, by telling her she put YOU in a bad situation that you didnt' deserve.
And of course if you do really well at making her feel guilty.. she'll kill herself... and then you can have sex with her dead body while it's still warm.
I.B. getting very pissed at women. It's not even LIKE me to say something like this EVER. I don't even swear in person... I write the bad words down, and when something happens, I hold them up... I.E.... someone steps on my foot... Card= "Shit"
Women are evil... One managed to get to me...makes me hate all women. Although I do like her and I'de hate for anything to happen to her, I'm very pissed at her.. although she thought everything was cool,... tonight I didn't say shit to her... mainly because I feel she lied to me, and that she's just a sort of low scale player.
Your rant is now MY rant...
01-21-2006, 06:47 AM #8
i do it all the time and say im allergic to something on the food prepared
01-21-2006, 06:57 AM #9
well if you want to be single then you did the right thing.. And if you keep making similar choices you'll be single for a long time to come! Lifting isn't everything in life!! Sometimes you have to make a menial sacrifice!
01-21-2006, 07:00 AM #10~ Vet~ I like Thai Girls
Originally Posted by SnaX
- Join Date
- Apr 2005
01-21-2006, 07:28 AM #11
I would have done exactly what you did. I would also not bother with this girly anymore. Too many issues.
Of course I might have said that "anything fried in oil gives me the worst case of explosive diaharria" and left it at that.
01-21-2006, 08:10 AM #12Originally Posted by needmorestrength
01-21-2006, 08:32 AM #13
To make the situation better you should have told you girly what you dont eat, so she could have notified her mom before cooking began. That would have made the situation better on both parties.
01-21-2006, 08:53 AM #14
Well I just got back from running. Usually I do it outside but it's about 8 degrees in Denver right now so I went to the gym to run. And who do I just happen to run into.......
She came in just as I was leaving. She has a membership to the same gym but hardly ever goes. Apparently I made her feel "unattractive" last night and she wants to start exercising and eating better. She's 5' 7" at 120lbs. Very good looking, almost like she is a health nut. I think that's why I was attracted to her in the beginning. She said she was sorry about last night. She told me she understands now about how much this stuff means to me and she's wants to start eating better so that we can do it together. I told her I would call her later. As I'm leaving she gives me this long hug and says that she's willing to do anything to stay with me.
To be honest, I'm still a little shocked about last night. I don't know if she was trying to manipulate me because I don't think she like that. I think she just feels like a fat ass for always eating bad and never working out. And if I did the same thing it would make her feel better about herself. I think me walking out last night made her realize something. She was getting to the point where it would of been a "You choose, me or proper dieting" kind of thing. I think she got my decision last night.
I don't know if I love this girl but I can't seem to get her outta my head. I leave for the Army in April and she knows that. Maybe it's just better if we end it now before it gets to the next level.
Now I'm confused. Why is shit getting complicated all of a sudden?
01-21-2006, 09:01 AM #15Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
lol....i like the way u broke it down.But i know what u mean when u take ur bitch out to din... and u order a steak with vegyz and she gets some faty ass meal.then she gets all pissy with me saying i ****ed her dinner up the .but 4 the most part what did the older sis look like? u should be bangn both of them.....
01-21-2006, 09:02 AM #16
Take her along the right path of workout and eating properly. Who knows, it may change her life and you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you did something good for a person whose self esteem is in the gutter. You might not end up with this girl but at least you can save her from a long and dissapointing string of abusive relationships. Make her feel good about herself. If you two end up together, then so be it, if not, then move past it. I believe that no man should consider marriage until he is at least 30, this includes procreation. Make sure you wrap that rascal, the last thing you need it to be trapped.
01-21-2006, 09:05 AM #17Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
also suck it up and eat the cat fish....u do what u have to 2 get the wet......lol.....
01-21-2006, 09:30 AM #18New Member
Originally Posted by timvds
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
damn, that's gay
01-21-2006, 09:33 AM #19Originally Posted by vdguy
01-21-2006, 09:35 AM #20AR Hall of Fame
Originally Posted by 1buffsob
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
01-21-2006, 09:39 AM #21Originally Posted by SwoleCat
01-21-2006, 09:40 AM #22
Damn man, thats cold....she made you look like a scumbag at the dinner table and i would have excused myself as well and would never contact her or her family again.
I might contact her again depending on how she looks.
01-21-2006, 09:56 AM #23
All of us on this board understand the commitment and dedication it takes to achieve our personal goals. Outside our relm....very few understand, and even fewer want to.
If this lifestyle is an absolute never ending journey; you have two options. 1) Find someone who supports you endlessly. Perhaps they may not workout or diet to the extreme as you do. But, nonetheless; they must have the knowledge to be your rock. It is up to you to educate them.
2) Find someone who leads the same lifestyle as you. It maybe difficult since they're are very few of us out there. But, if you make it an issue to have high expectations....well...why would you settle for anything less.
I have personally found it helpful to make EVERYONE around me aware of what I choose to do. From my personal life to even my career. Let them know what kind of strong willed person it takes to do this. And, that you would greatly the support (if any) that they can give to make this a much easier journey for you. People respond with much more generosity when you make them feel apart of something so important to you.
If after all of this is made known to a special someone and they choose to ignore your feelings; is it really that detrimental to your future that they're apart of your life?
You deserve to be happy and to not feel ashamed by how you choose to feed your body. Have some pride and self respect ....enough for yourself to walk away from toxic individuals
01-21-2006, 09:59 AM #24
Regardless if he's going to the army or not. It's one shitty meal, it's not going to set you back 1 year in the gym if you eat it. I dont know what the big deal about this whole thing is, either insult the mother who just cooked you the food (you should have said you're not going to eat in the first place) or just dealt with it and ate it.....I dont know, pretty senseless to me
01-21-2006, 10:06 AM #25Originally Posted by SnaX
01-21-2006, 10:39 AM #26
wel if she cant respect ur need2 diet than that sher problem. Thing with people to day is that when you say the word diet they assume its all about loosing weight and not building muscle
01-21-2006, 11:06 AM #27
I would have eaten those fried cheese sticks. they're so good are you crazy? lol, and when you join the army your physique and diet are dead anyway. boot is going to destroy your diet...just don't cry about it or they make you run best of luck to you man, we make our decisions and run with em, you'll be ok.
01-21-2006, 11:16 AM #28
hahaha this is great forst off you should explain the diffrence in eating healthy and eating for body comp, they are diffren IMO, and fried food aint F'n healthy,,,,,,and i have noticed lately that woman feel insecure around men that have better bodies than they do in a womans eyes its just not right for a man to look better then a woman but it's getting more common these days specially with younger girls, thats why im trying to sneek into the older crowd of girls because they know what they want and dont play games and dont cry at dinner tables !!!!
01-21-2006, 11:22 AM #29
You shoulda said you already ate and was stuffed. Then when they brought it out, (I'm guessing it was a suprize until it was served), asked how it was prepared. Then picked some thing out of it's preperations that you were alergic to be your scape goat.
It sounds to me like you are already in love with her. That's why it feel complicated. Break it off now. Tell her you just want to be friends. Help her with macro nutritional meal planning and exercise. From the way you make her sound, she probably only needs walking at a fast pace 45minutes three times a week. Then show her some girly body sculpting exercises. Tell her it's up to her if she wants to wait for you until you finish your hitch with the army.
Stop banging her. That only makes you fall in love with her more. Scientifically proven.
01-21-2006, 11:26 AM #30Originally Posted by USfighterFC
01-21-2006, 11:35 AM #31Originally Posted by SwoleCat
And it's not that big of deal breaking everyonce in a while. What is a big deal is the situation she put me in. She knows damn well I don't eat fried shit and she told me that her mom doesn't even cook so if we were to have dinner we would go out and I could just get a salad or steak. But no. Her mom makes this dinner, albeit tasty, but completely horrible for you. For me to eat it would have been her making me do something I don't want to do. I can understand compromise in a relationship but she totally put me in a fuk'd up situation. She wanted me to make the decision as to whether or not she is more important to me than my goals. She isn't. Because any girl worth a damn wouldn't make me choose between them and my goals.
And as for the army, I know that in three months I will have lose my ability to diet and train. But does that mean I should just give up now? Hell no. Should I go out now and dig myself a grave just because I'll probably be dead in 50 years? Make the most out of what you can, when you can.
01-21-2006, 11:45 AM #32Originally Posted by 63190
01-21-2006, 11:50 AM #33
so have you talked this girl since the situataion ?????
01-21-2006, 11:51 AM #34Originally Posted by 1buffsob
01-21-2006, 11:54 AM #35Originally Posted by muriloninja
01-21-2006, 11:54 AM #36
[QUOTE=needmorestrength]Your not going to be mr.olympia, [QUOTE]
01-21-2006, 11:59 AM #37
hes going into the army, he prolly isnt a bantam wt bodybuilder... just thinks hes better than them, bc he restricts what he eats... big whoop
01-21-2006, 12:01 PM #38Originally Posted by 1buffsob
01-21-2006, 12:02 PM #39
big deal he's leaving in 90 days any way either way you eat it or you dont, you coul have pulled some more tale outta the situation till you leave, now you may not be able to pull her back into you bedroom because of this and you deff cant go back over to her moms place after this,,mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm????????????????????, OK this is what you do to patch things up so you can countiue to get laid till you leave for military, OK contact the girl apoligize and yada yada, OK tell her she aint fat and all that BS even if she is a little chubby still tell her she aint fat, then suggest a family BBQ at her moms house and you will take care of all of it ok, this is not difficult to do, and will give you a chance to patch shit up with her parents and atll that shit and get you on the good side again, pic up some steaks or a few bags of chicken breast take it over to her parents and cook it your self, im sure her dad has a grill if he does not he's not a real man, so cook the food for evreyone bring a some slad and fresh green beans for sides and volla you have dinner with her family you cooked it and feed evreyone so there happy and you have a healthy meal for your self...
01-21-2006, 12:19 PM #40Originally Posted by decadbal
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