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11-21-2002, 06:43 PM #1
Some things everyone should know about CYCLEON
Here they are in no particular order:
1) He is sexually attracted to me in every way imagineable. By that I mean he sleeps in front of my house every night and masturbates below my window making strange howling noises. He claims the noises are meant to mimic those of squirrels, though I have tried to tell him that squirrels don't make loud noises like that, although telling him that just makes him masturbate more fervently.
2) He has rabies.
3) He has been taking formal dancing lessons for a very long time now. He has 8 years of tap, 7 years of modern jazz, and 5 years of ballet under his belt.
4) He has a negative sperm count. Doctors aren't really sure how that is possible. The best explanation they can come up with is that there is a small black hole in each of his shriveled testes.
5) He eats exclusively through his anus and it's gross.
6) He only has one sphincter muscle in his entire body. He moves it around from bodypart to bodypart depending on what he is doing at the time. For example, if he is urinating he'll shift his one sphincter to the end of his urethra. If he is eating, he'll shift it to his esophagus, etc. It's weird, and frankly a little creepy.
7) Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes him in any way, shape, or form. Period.
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11-21-2002, 06:53 PM #2
nathan bro you are nuts!!!!!cycleon is gonna kick your ass bro....kick your ass....lolol or maybe just dance around you
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11-21-2002, 07:23 PM #3
Holy shit!
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11-21-2002, 07:26 PM #4
You 2 are such a compatible couple....kinda makes me miss my ex.
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11-21-2002, 07:45 PM #5
5 and 6 seem on the surface to be mutually exclusive.
--dnb
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11-21-2002, 07:49 PM #6
Hey, fair is fair. The guy has been having a hell of a time playing around with my title and username. Bastard. I forgot to add:
8) He will wear the same underpants for weeks on end without changing them or showering them. He will then take said underpants and sleep with his head tucked snuggly inside them until he has prepared the next pair of undies in a similar fashion. He feels that this ritual grants him super powers in the form of telekinesis. He justifies not being able to actually do anything remotely telekinetic by claiming that he is tired all the time from a previous night of hardcore necrophilia.
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11-21-2002, 11:57 PM #7AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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hmmmmmmmm........ Nathan, can you spell "fixation"? There, I knew you could!
But I reluctantly admit #8 might actually have some merit as far as the underpants go - Nathan, you have to quit sneaking in my house to smell my underwear!
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11-22-2002, 12:13 AM #8Originally posted by CYCLEON
Nathan, you have to quit sneaking in my house to smell my underwear!
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11-22-2002, 05:09 PM #9
LMAO!!! You guys are hilarious!
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11-24-2002, 06:08 PM #10Originally posted by EXCESS
From what I've heard he doesn't sneak around. His undie-sniffing visits usually take 3-4 hours and he's not shy about it. That shit in your backyard...not from your dog! So far the only thing he's stolen from your house is hand cream and tissues. The good side is that he usually eats the stuff underneath your sofa cushions.
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11-24-2002, 06:58 PM #11
Man you guys are crazy as Hell.. You guys act like you all are married..
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11-24-2002, 07:04 PM #12Originally posted by Sicilian30
Man you guys are crazy as Hell.. You guys act like you all are married..
I think they are. However it is only recognized in certain (more liberal) states.
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11-26-2002, 01:17 PM #13
hehe keep it up.. great laughs.. but thanks for the info nathan! very informative!
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11-26-2002, 06:03 PM #14
got to love this board!
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11-26-2002, 11:01 PM #15Originally posted by testaprim
got to love this board!
Yup.
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11-27-2002, 05:14 AM #16Originally posted by RON
I think they are. However it is only recognized in certain (more liberal) states.
I can feel the love baby..
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