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06-22-2003, 08:38 AM #1Knight of the Garter and Member of the Victorian Order
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- Oct 2002
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85 yr old lady up 30 POUNDS on gear!!!!
Brothers.
My 85 year old grandmother has packed on over 30 solid pounds in the past 4 weeks. Her max bench has leapt from just the bar to 155 pounds-for reps!
Over the past month, I've been throwing a handful of papervar onto her salad, dissolving anadrol tabs in her tea...and I tell you, she has really turned into a hard-core lifter! Her roid rage is totally out of control, and she is eating like a horse, downing large quantities of crumpets, sausages, black puddings, and beef wellington.
She has NO CLUE that she is on steroids !
Just the other day, Nobby and I were with her in the gym. She works out in her shawl and housedress- and her traps really show through!
Normally I smack her around when she starts to give up with the weights, but this time the tables were indeed turned!
I was curling 275, and after 15 reps slowed down a tad. She lifted her umbrella (she carries it about in the gym with her) and stabbed me in the crotch, screaming "You fucking WEAKLING!!!". I dropped the weight and collapsed, and she continued the abuse, beating me over the head mercilessly with her fearsome umbrella!
A passerby, an old gent of around 65, stopped and commented "Good Lord, my dear, easy does it!" and she spun around, grabbed his testicles, and began crushing them in a vice-like grip, hissing "Who asked you, FUCKFACE?!"
Finally, Nobby intervened and gave her a tremendous smack across the face with his bike chain, and as she lay on the floor, quivering, he dropped a 100 pound dumbell on her, screaming "AARRRGGHH!!" the whole time.
Well folks, Nobby and I left her comatose on the gym floor. But tommorow is leg day, and granny will be along for some mind-blowing quad work. Then we'll see who the weakling is!
I'll provide another update on the amazing gains my grandmother is making.
Anyone else have a grandmother as fiesty as mine?
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06-22-2003, 08:45 AM #2
beats the Sunday comics...
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06-22-2003, 08:57 AM #3
*shakes head*
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06-22-2003, 09:49 AM #4
Might I suggest you boys wear cups when working out with Granny.
Love your stuff Bro.
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06-22-2003, 11:07 AM #5
hahahah, see that was funny, good one bro
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06-22-2003, 11:14 AM #6
My 3 year old daughter got into my gear!
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06-22-2003, 11:18 AM #7Associate Member
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06-22-2003, 11:27 AM #8AR-Hall of Famer / Retired
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Re: 85 yr old lady up 30 POUNDS on gear!!!!
Originally posted by Sir Victorian guy, V.C.
I was curling 275, and after 15 reps slowed down a tad. She lifted her umbrella (she carries it about in the gym with her) and stabbed me in the crotch, screaming "You fucking WEAKLING!!!". I dropped the weight and collapsed, and she continued the abuse, beating me over the head mercilessly with her fearsome umbrella!
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06-23-2003, 07:51 AM #9
I spewed coffee allover my computer when i got to the part when she stabbed you in the crotch with her umbrella!!!! This is a definate goody!
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06-23-2003, 07:54 AM #10
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06-23-2003, 10:14 AM #11Senior Member
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- Dec 2001
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Too funny......but i wanna hear about gramps and all that test runnin through his system.
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06-23-2003, 10:36 AM #12
omg ahahahahah the funnies post i've ever read loL!
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06-24-2003, 03:09 AM #13
Another classic, i live for the next story where you and nobby get upto mischief, funny as hell man, bet your granny can wield that umbrella pretty good.
cant wait for the update.
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08-24-2005, 06:22 PM #14
hahahahahahahahaha other than the guy who shit his pants at work, this guy is the best poster on AR
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08-24-2005, 06:30 PM #15
This was a funny ass read!
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08-24-2005, 06:31 PM #16
the other one is funny too...about ROID RAGE haha
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08-24-2005, 06:33 PM #17
I just realized how old this thread was.
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08-24-2005, 06:33 PM #18
ya man seems like all these guys made up thread have been brought back from the dead
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08-24-2005, 07:01 PM #19
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA
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08-24-2005, 07:23 PM #20
Looks like granny aint gettin ran over by no reindeer this x-mas!!!
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08-24-2005, 10:48 PM #21
why dont u take a ho to a hotel... bc a ho tell everybody
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