advances (Gay type) at the gym

[fouronthefloor]

Just curious as to how everyone handles this topic; it comes up quite a lot and I've always just turned the other way, but now that I'm full of gear, I seem to be letting my temper get away from me... but when another bro WILL NOT stop staring and smiling at you, how do you handle this situation without a 45 lb bar bell being involved; you get me???

[BUYLONGTERM]

Don't worry about it. If I guy is staring at me, I would NOT stare back. It's creepy, but in all reality, unless he comes up to me, let him do what he wants.

I would of posted this in the AR Lounge.

[TheMudMan]

Look the other way.

[Pheedno]

Don't loose your temper. And don't let gear be an excuse.

Handle it like a mature adult...Don't let it bother you, and if anyone actually does make an actuall advance, calmly inform them of your situation.

[fouronthefloor]

Look the other way.

well that would be simple enough... but it seem to be getting a bit worse (in terms of being aggressive, etc.) AND keep in mind, I don't actually know if these bros are of the feather foot tribe (and I'm not bashing here,) but it just seem very odd that as soon as I walk into the gym I always get asked to spot one of three or so bros; I don't mind helping out, as we all need it, but playing with your ball bag,in front of me, while smiling back up at me seems a little fucking wierd to me....

[bornbad71]

well that would be simple enough... but it seem to be getting a bit worse (in terms of being aggressive, etc.) AND keep in mind, I don't actually know if these bros are of the feather foot tribe (and I'm not bashing here,) but it just seem very odd that as soon as I walk into the gym I always get asked to spot one of three or so bros; I don't mind helping out, as we all need it, but playing with your ball bag,in front of me, while smiling back up at me seems a little fucking wierd to me....

You can always say NO when they ask for a spot....then walk away.

Pheedno covered the rest.

[Ntpadude]

well that would be simple enough... but it seem to be getting a bit worse (in terms of being aggressive, etc.) AND keep in mind, I don't actually know if these bros are of the feather foot tribe (and I'm not bashing here,) but it just seem very odd that as soon as I walk into the gym I always get asked to spot one of three or so bros; I don't mind helping out, as we all need it, but playing with your ball bag,in front of me, while smiling back up at me seems a little fucking wierd to me....

I had an 18 year old kid (guy) once make an advance about 2 months ago, told me he had a crush on me and shit... I had to point to the ring on my finger and tell him I am not gay, happily married and he doesnt stand a chance to get over it.

This was a strange kid with troubles because we thought he was hanging around the 18 year old girl across the street so he could get into her pants but I guess he had his eye on me too. Good lord... I'd say in your situation tell them the way it is, and they dont stand a chance should be enough to get them off trying to get you.

[realityarts]

I agree with TheMudMan - look away. If you are approached, simply tell the guy that you are not interested. Be nice - afterall - he likes you.

Oh, and don't put the name fouronthefloor on your shirt or anything.

Sorry couldn't resist.

Good luck man...

[Pheedno]

[QUOTE=realityarts]

Oh, and don't put the name fouronthefloor on your shirt or anything.

QUOTE]

LMAO

[Tock]

I'm gay, and when I've worked out in a straight gym around lots of women, more than a few women expressed interest in my hot buns. Some would just occasionally look, some would flirt a bit, some would carry on like they were ready to shoot a porno flick right then and there.

I take it you're going through the same thing . . .

It's only a bit of uninvited sexual interest. Just as I didn't get creeped out by some ol' bit of snatch warming up to me, I don't think there's really any reason for you to get creeped out 'cause some guy thinks you're hot.

Sometimes I'd just ignore the wench and sooner or later she'd flit off to someone else. Sometimes I'd strike up a conversation, drop a comment like "I'm gay, not available" and that would take care of that. Twice I've had to deal with the line, "Well, you know the right woman could reform you." To which I replied, "You know, the right woman could reform you, too!"

I would suggest that rather than let a lot of bad vibes and resentment and anger build up over this (assuming this is really starting to get to ya), walk over to the guy who's learing, and do a conversation something like this:
You) "Hey, wassup."
Him) "Not much. You?"
You) "Notmuch. Y'know, I know I look good, but I sure don't like being leered at. Makes me nervous."
Him) "Yeah, I know whatcha mean."

Walk away, and your troubles will be over.


Yah, there's been more than a few times that some wench woman has really grossed me out expressing her carnal lust for my bod, but I figure there's nothing really to get angry or upset about . . . if it continues and gets annoying, then I'll go say something to the problem girl and get things sorted out. And yes, I can imagine there are times that y'all straight guys run into the same thing, but for the life of me, I can't imagine why y'all get so bent out of shape over it.

--Tock

[50%Natural]

That should sum it up from the otherside of the fence for you. Good post Tock. Also, I don't know about anyone else but I have a badass mp3 player. It holds like 60 songs. I don't even pay attention to what is going on around me in the gym Get you an mp3 player and get some godsmack, korn, linkin park and limp biskit and it will put you in the zone. You won't notice anyone or anything but the weights. Trust me. I bust my ass in 45 minutes - 1 hour and when I don't have my mp3 player it takes me an additonal 20 minutes or so b/c me and my partner will talk to each other and people in the gym. Sorry I got off the point of the advances.

[Pheedno]

That's because they're homophobes...

Ask a guy that says he's Homophobic if he likes, or doesn't mind two women together. If that gets him off, and two guys together is somehow disgusting, then he has sexual identity and insecurity problems himself.

I personally don't believe in that lifestyle(Male or Female), but I do believe in right to life of will. I have quite a few friends that are homosexual, both male and female and we get along fine. Sexual orientation is for the privacy of ones home(or whereever), and therefore shouldn't be a factor when associating with fellow humans

[Ntpadude]

That should sum it up from the otherside of the fence for you. Good post Tock. Also, I don't know about anyone else but I have a badass mp3 player. It holds like 60 songs. I don't even pay attention to what is going on around me in the gym Get you an mp3 player and get some godsmack, korn, linkin park and limp biskit and it will put you in the zone. You won't notice anyone or anything but the weights. Trust me. I bust my ass in 45 minutes - 1 hour and when I don't have my mp3 player it takes me an additonal 20 minutes or so b/c me and my partner will talk to each other and people in the gym. Sorry I got off the point of the advances.

Well one thing that could be worst is all the gay guys are looking at you with discust, like you can see in their faces that they are thinking, "Oh Yuckie poo, this one is a big fat pig, put your shirt on, no one wants to see that". Take it as a complement... Myself I dont get offended when both woman and men take a moment to check me out... it would be worst for my ego if they didnt or had that discusted look. Its like this, "You" know you arent going to get in bed with them, why should you be insecure out it?

[bumdart420]

I think your all gay!

[Da Bull]

I agree with Mud & pheedno.

[chicamahomico]

I'm not homophobic.....I just don't like gay people I just would ignore them until they go away.

[bumdart420]

I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is...

I'm a woman trapped in a mans body that loves women. I guess I'm a lesbian.

[Da Bull]

I'm a woman trapped in a mans body that loves women. I guess I'm a lesbian.

[palme]

Wrong forum...

Personally i would smile back and say "whats up?" If he starts to rub himself on you then politly(sp) remove his hand from your crotch and say your in a relationship and walk away.

Peace
Lovedoctor

[BlocRoc]

Who cares....unless you're insecure about your own sexuality...Its a compliment....

L8

[markas214]

I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is...

Just tell the guy politely that he's creeping you out if it is that distracting. I wonder how some of these really hot chicks feel when they're being stared at by every guy in the gym.

[realityarts]

That's because they're homophobes...

That term (homophobe) denotes fear. I don't know too many people who are afraid (fearful) of any gay/lesbian/... people. Many are simply repulsed by it. Albeit, some are just insecure or perhaps even curious.

Me? I don't have a problem with what people do sexually, as long as it does not involve children, rape... To each their own.

Though, no man will ever stick his Willie Wonka in my Chocolate Factory!

RA

[Juggernaut]

You're looking around the gym to much. Until someone comes up and grabs a handfull I wouldn't think any more about it. if you think this guy would really like to "get to know you" then wait until he approaches and be polite and tell him you play for the other team. I'll bet he's already figured out you're not interested and he'll not say anything to you.

Hell, I'd be flattered if anyone found me attractive.......I'm as ugly as a bucket full of armpits. Just for the record I'm not gay........................although Palme kind of turns me on. hahahahaha

[simplyjakked]

if u keep noticing him staring then your looking at him too so he probably thinks your checking him out! i am in a gym that has some hot chicks but i dont notice them until i am done with my workout...stop looking around!

[realityarts]

Yeah, but those people who are repulsed by it, are because it disgusts them, and because the whole thing makes them uncomfortable. Being unconfortable is a mild form of fear/insecurity, IMO...

Well, yeah, you've present a point, one can be afraid of what repulses (disgusts) them. Though to be fearful or insecure about something is not the same as being disgusted. Fear is not usually the prominent emotion (if you will) in regards to how people feel who dislike homosexuality. In other words, one can have a fear of heights (Acrophobia) but that type of fear does not characterize how many people who dislike homosexuality feel. Fear is far from the main emotion/feeling/thought...

Also, any fear involved in this disgust is not necessarily negative. Not all insecurity/fear is bad. Feeling insecure about about hiking along a steep edge is quite normal. Many fears are in our physical makeup, to keep us from doing the wrong, harmful, or dangerous thing - like walking among wilds tigers or bears. It also may be a mechinism to keep us from doing things which are unnatural (regardless of any moral correctness or not). [By the way, with regards to what's natural, if homosexuals live on an island without heterosexual activity, nature will takes it course...and eventually none would exist. This is why people are generally inclinced to do what is natural, to preserve humanity... I am not making a moral judgement, simply an observation. This doesn't mean that it cannot be practiced.]

The whole word homophobic (homophobe) is very often used in a derogatory manner - more of a word to "name call." Granted, the same is true of the word homo (by some heterosexuals). People who use the term homophobe are generally doing so to label or make the recipient of the term feel bad. It is not used, generally, to call attention to some type of clinical condition that the phobic person needs proper care and/or help for - as with many other fears.

I'm not in any way attempting to make a case against homosexuality. I'm simply responding to the issues raised in this thread.

This thread would be more appropriate for the lounge, as the whole things is off topic...maybe we can move it to the lounge.

RA

[New GearGuy]

When the gay dude starts checking you out grab some hot bitch and start dry humping her on the treadmill!! LMFAO!

[Carlos_E]

That should sum it up from the otherside of the fence for you. Good post Tock. Also, I don't know about anyone else but I have a badass mp3 player. It holds like 60 songs. I don't even pay attention to what is going on around me in the gym Get you an mp3 player and get some godsmack, korn, linkin park and limp biskit and it will put you in the zone. You won't notice anyone or anything but the weights. Trust me. I bust my ass in 45 minutes - 1 hour and when I don't have my mp3 player it takes me an additonal 20 minutes or so b/c me and my partner will talk to each other and people in the gym. Sorry I got off the point of the advances.

I wear my iPod at the gym. When someone male or female comes up to talk to me I pretend not to hear, I ignore them and walk away. I'm at the gym to get big not socialize. If someone becomes persistent I clearly make it known I'm not interested. End of story.

[realityarts]

I wear my iPod at the gym. When someone male or female comes up to talk to me I pretend not to hear, I ignore them and walk away. I'm at the gym to get big not socialize. If someone becomes persistent I clearly make it known I'm not interested. End of story.

Yeah, I don't like to be bothered during a workout. I think most people who are serious understand this as a common courtesy.

[partyboynyc]

1.) don't be such a homophobe. take it as a compliment as you would a girl.
2.) NEVER LIVE IN MANHATTAN. i am assulted by looks every fucking block and i take it as a compliment that both guys and girls find me attractive.nice to knwo that all genders wanna fuck partyboy.of course, i only bang chicks though, so the boys can just look and go home a jerk off to me or something

[Rickson]

If I ever went to the gym and didn't get stared at by men and women I would shoot myself.

[Ntpadude]

Personally i would smile back and say "whats up?" If he starts to rub himself on you then politly(sp) remove his hand from your crotch and say your in a relationship and walk away.

Lovedoctor

Whats this being polite to someone if they rub themselves on you and hand on your crotch thing?? I can possibly put up with the smile and stares but making assumptions that I want some guys hand on my crotch... man that is starting a fight shit if you ask me and its open season to feel free to punch him just as much as it would be for a woman to punch a man out for copping a feel on her.

You just dont go around doing stuff like that unless its invited...

Hehehe, I was just thinking about it but what if you are all on testosterone and its like you are walking around all hard all the time... I wonder if this is why you guys are having so much of a problem with all the gay guys staring you down. Worst yet you have a testosterone hard on and these guys cop and feel and they get the wrong idea like you are really interested, hehehe.

[Money Boss Hustla]

Here's how I deal with it.

1. Keep minimal eye contact

2. Don't fully change in the changeroom...get in and get out.

3. When using the can...if you see 4 shoes facing the same way in a stall...RUN!!

[fouronthefloor]

[QUOTE=Pheedno]

Oh, and don't put the name fouronthefloor on your shirt or anything.

QUOTE]

LMAO

That's well offsides, chief; are you having a go at me??? I simply asked a question, to guage how all of my fellow bros' would handle the situation... no need for you to get sideways with me, mate; you get me???

[Carlos_E]

Here's how I deal with it.

1. Keep minimal eye contact

2. Don't fully change in the changeroom...get in and get out.

I never get fully nude in the locker room and I never shower at the gym. I got a shower at home. There is always some old fat guy who'll walk around nude. I'll start my workout and he's in there naked and when I finish an hour later he's still be there walking around butt naked. What is that all about? My gym has a freakin' body blow dryer in the middle of the locker room and the only people who use it are fat and 150 years old.

[TheMudMan]

I never get fully nude in the locker room and I never shower at the gym. I got a shower at home. There is always some old fat guy who'll walk around nude. I'll start my workout and he's in there naked and when I finish an hour later he's still be there walking around butt naked. What is that all about? My gym has a freakin' body blow dryer in the middle of the locker room and the only people who use it are fat and 150 years old.

Bro we go to the same gym!

[fouronthefloor]

Okay... right, then... just got back from working out and sure enough the queen mother was there, on time, like a O' Town alarm clock, asking me to spot her on the flat bench... WTF (I'm saying this in my head) Well anyway, I say... sure bro, be glad to help you out! As we're walking over, I say to him... you know, bro, I'm not gay... not in a mean tempered spirit either... that bitch looks at me, turns blood ass red, and calls me a bitch!!!!!!!! and walks out of the gym proper drama prissy style. He comes back in after about five minutes and proceeds to tell me this was all a horrible joke that had been played on him by one of his mates and he apologized and left.

Now, my I'm wondering am I in the center of some freaky gay strategy twist shocker??? I think I'm switching gyms bros'

[Carlos_E]

Okay... right, then... just got back from working out and sure enough the queen mother was there, on time, like a O' Town alarm clock, asking me to spot her on the flat bench... WTF (I'm saying this in my head) Well anyway, I say... sure bro, be glad to help you out! As we're walking over, I say to him... you know, bro, I'm not gay... not in a mean tempered spirit either... that bitch looks at me, turns blood ass red, and calls me a bitch!!!!!!!! and walks out of the gym proper drama prissy style. He comes back in after about five minutes and proceeds to tell me this was all a horrible joke that had been played on him by one of his mates and he apologized and left.

Now, my I'm wondering am I in the center of some freaky gay strategy twist shocker??? I think I'm switching gyms bros'

The story sounds hella made up. I know of NO queeny guys that go to the gym. Sorry I don't believe it. Most guys that fit the "queeny finger snappin' calling someone a bitch" stereotype are frail and do not lift.

Sorry, I call bullshit.

[Danielle]

The story sounds hella made up. I know of NO queeny guys that go to the gym. Sorry I don't believe it. Most guys that fit the "queeny finger snappin' calling someone a bitch" stereotype are frail and do not lift.

Sorry, I call bullshit.

i agree

[palme]

The story sounds hella made up. I know of NO queeny guys that go to the gym. Sorry I don't believe it. Most guys that fit the "queeny finger snappin' calling someone a bitch" stereotype are frail and do not lift.

Sorry, I call bullshit.

You go girl!

[Carlos_E]

You go girl!

You just had to go there didn't you.

Bitch!